bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 39 - ] Comment quote №93372
 02.02.2014
I don’t understand: you study in school, parents say you study well otherwise you won’t pass exams. After 9th grade, you will go to PTU. Taken in the 10th grade, here again studying otherwise you will not go to the university, and without a higher education nowhere. Study well, or you will be taken to the army! I got a diploma, followed the agenda and now I am in the army!!! What next...? serve well otherwise they will not be taken to work without a military ticket

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №93371
 02.02.2014
Blonde Blonde Blonde Blonde Blonde Blonde Blonde Blonde Blonde Blonde Blonde Blonde Blonde Blonde Blonde Blonde Blonde Blonde Blonde Blonde Blonde Blonde Blonde Blonde Blonde Blonde Blonde
Yyy: Well mom wanted a green-eyed blonde, so she now loves the cat more than me
Yyy: Although blue-eyed
He doesn’t go all the way to Greece.
He only sleeps and eats.
yyy: straight like I last month
yyy: only this furry pidoas everyone likes, and I don't ;D

[ + 40 - ] Comment quote №93370
 02.02.2014
here here :

In the tablet a phone, in the phone a camera, in the magnetol a cupcake... With this tendency to block a bunch of devices in one, ten years later in M-video, Eurosets, etc. There will be two stands:

1st Multifunctional Multifunctional 1

2nd Universal Multifunctional Hujja-2 (budget version, made of cheap plastic).

Oh yes, also, only on special order, UMH-premium in the golden body.

Not a premium, but an iHuynya

[ + 42 - ] Comment quote №93369
 02.02.2014
Who is the ideal consumer? He is absolutely ignorant, a fool who lives with elementary emotions and a thirst for novelty. You can say, not a fool, but more delicate - a six-year-old child. But if at thirty you have the psyche of a six-year-old, you are still a fool early, no matter how delicate.
He is vigorous, positive, dynamic and always ready. to consume. What exactly? What they say, it will be. He is the ideal consumer. He won’t say, “I don’t have a new iPhone when I haven’t mastered the old one? I don’t need it at all.” He must have it, that is all. Once a new toy is picked up, he must immediately throw away the old one.

The ideal consumer is something like a pipe in which the goods are pumped from one end, and from the other they whistle out to the landfill.

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №93368
 02.02.2014
On Ukrainian news portals, the YouTube video is gaining popularity, in which your deputy Fyodorov, within an hour, gives an interview and proves with a foam in the mouth that America on February 7 (in the opening of the Olympics) will float and "cut off" Crimea with Odessa. If not, the entire banking system will collapse.
People, what do you use? Let us go!

[ + 20 - ] Comment quote №93367
 02.02.2014
Efrit: I was going to do the cleaning. You look around and think "And in principle it will come down". Then a cat comes into the room. He rides on the floor to be swallowed over his stomach. Then he comes down on his knees to kiss him. I look at it and realize that my floor is wildly dirty in fact.

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №93366
 02.02.2014
D: You are stupid!! to
Did you see yourself?! to
D is yes!
I – and how?! to
A: Such a cute girl.

[ + 21 - ] Comment quote №93365
 02.02.2014
(He) - You can imagine, I dreamed all night that I was seduced by Natasha Queen. And that’s despite the fact that she’s never been the subject of my sexual fantasies.

I’m embarrassed to ask, but who was the subject of your sexual fantasies?

It is a MacBook Pro.

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №93364
 02.02.2014
I work in a furniture store. All products have specific names, and in English. All shoe boots are called Eboot-1, Eboot-2 and so on in order. Today, the senior seller responded to a call from another store, asking whether we have a shoe box number 5. The customers listened to the following dialogue:
How much Eboot do you have? The Five? Oh, we have Eboot, but I don’t think it’s five. Now I’m running to the warehouse, to see how much Eboot is there.
She runs to the warehouse, then screams to the operator to whom she left the phone: Tan, tell them that we have Eboot six!!! to

[ + 20 - ] Comment quote №93363
 02.02.2014
I can't lose weight after the holidays (
xx: on one side the pop has grown (
xx: on the other hand, the breasts)))

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №93362
 02.02.2014
Vladimir, he is the graveyard owner of a funeral agency. And it seems that this is the case when the profession of man not only found, but caught and found three more times in a perverted form.

[ + 33 - ] Comment quote №93361
 02.02.2014
Misha, was she beautiful at all?

YYY: I have been

[ + 38 - ] [5 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №93360
 02.02.2014
I want you not to multiply.

I hope your kids do better than your answers. Something was over, thank you.

____________________________________________________________________

What are you talking about, duo? Their own stupidity?
Here are two examples:
1.You do not have to come here. It’s a word, it’s written badly.
In this small room there is absolutely nothing to hide. This is a particle "no" with pretext and place name. by Separate.

[ + 32 - ] Comment quote №93359
 02.02.2014
I am ashamed to take pictures on the street...what do I do?
yyy: Get rid of this complex by getting used to popular masturbation. It helped. More than that, I don’t take the camera in my hands.

[ + 26 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №93358
 02.02.2014
Humming is the only privilege of a slave that he enjoys fully.

[ + 59 - ] Comment quote №93357
 02.02.2014
I have a friend who works as a secretary in a lawyer’s office.
The victim tells.
“A neighbor from below called on my door at about two o’clock at night. I opened it. He had a bottle of cognac in his hand, and he said he wanted to get to know me closer, because he couldn’t sleep. I received it positively because I moved to this house recently, about a month ago. I think I was lucky with the neighbors. He ran and reduced the sound in the columns to get to know humanly.
He asked to cut the lemon and bring the cocktails under the cognac. While I was cooking everything in the kitchen, I heard a whisper in the room. I didn’t give it any importance... in vain!
When I came into the room, he asked me to connect my headphones to the TV and then sat me on the couch.
Then something incomprehensible began. I saw only my columns, big garbage bags and scotch. And then I remember that horrible music... for many, many hours.

The Explanation. The neighbor, who was shaken for a month from the overnight "white roses, white roses...", simply took three packages for street garbage, in two of them infused columns, and the third sprinkled on the neighbor's head, leaving his nose and mouth to maintain vitality, and fixed this structure hermetically with a scotch. Then he turned on his favorite album "Love May" and sat down to watch a movie in his headphones. He watched the movie for a long time. The movie is four, maybe five. And the client listened to everything and listened to his favorite music on the auto reverse, and at his usual volume.

PS from the victim: He didn’t give me to sleep at six. Every 10 minutes he kicked me in the side, and, lifting up his earrings, said that this drink for the May, God give them health and prosperity!
Do you know? I am now N-E-N-A-V-I-J-U!!! Let them die with their white roses!! to

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №93356
 02.02.2014
A cell phone battery... and that’s all. There was a man, and there was no man.

[ + 31 - ] Comment quote №93355
 02.02.2014
What a diploma! I will release this haircut with a certificate that he has been trained! He did not give him a diploma.
WOW: The deputy director said that this year will be released with the dipoms of all! Everyone will surrender.
Q: Will he write his own diplomas for idiots? Will the gentlemen give up themselves?
yyy: probably... this year just not to write the certificates... there is a standard on these certificates something new... and the deputy does not know what exactly... and the certificates we now no one can do... so I said, this year everyone will be given diplomas... accept!

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №93354
 02.02.2014
Cut your hair, you look like a cowboy.
I believe that the appearance should reflect the inner essence.
Cut your hair, maybe it will work.

[ + 33 - ] Comment quote №93353
 02.02.2014
Autumapostman: watch the Disney TV channel. The Devil’s Daughter 2!! O-0
Mexx:)))))) the daughter of Santa! You to the doctor

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