Top 4 fresh Facebook spams from the elections (one of the Rostov-on-Don districts (West)):

Nomination - unexplained actions with ballots

An encouraging prize is given to a woman who passes in the air above the urna.
Third place - The man who waved the ballot with the pen a-la so far,
The second is the guy who whispered the urn.
And finally - The woman who gave her vote by crossing the pre-voting ballot - You made our day

by ingwerhexe:
I sit here with my brother, Scooby-Doo is on TV. On the screen a monster appears, and this replica:
Oh God, what is it?! to
He is like a man and at the same time a crab. This is a crab!
The brother (melancholy)
I went to CLA with that today. He seems to be a man, but at the same time a crab.

Oh! A secret ballot in a transparent urn.

The feeling that my wife is sitting down every day and thinking like to fuck MY brain and at the same time she’s offended herself, so that I can then ask her forgiveness.

xxx: I bought my brother on February 23 a machine on the control panel (well he gives me dolls).
THAT DOBOEB and his bearded friends played this shit until two o'clock at night!!! to
We planted ALL the batteries that were in the house, even pulled out of the vibrator!! to
Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh! to

zecka : yesterday on TV was an old movie with Chuck Norris, wanted to switch, the controller slammed 0_o became scary...

13 billion Russia’s web elections cost a lot of money... and why not, because our roads are repaired, kindergartens are built, hospitals are equipped with the latest equipment and medicines, young specialists and large-child families are provided with housing, shortest we have it all!

The chair can’t say that it’s hard, that it’s hard and that it’s tired. At one moment, it just breaks down. Maybe I’m a little chair.
Yyy: Well you are so self-critical...))))))))))))))))
Shit... Fuck...

Freelancer
The fasting (in which I myself do not participate, but which was volitionally struck by the thirst for purification of my relatives) gave me the opportunity to feel like the god of death.

Freelancer
I have not eaten anything except apples for a week. I feel another week without meat and I really want to kill.

There is always a lack of green.

Where do the anecdotes come from?
Here is an example. So, in the village, where I started my career as a communicator, there was also a clinic for mentally ill people (in the people - a psychic). His corps were located nearby through a small square in front of the building of the Reich Executive Committee. Once in the winter, when he gathered us, the chiefs of various levels, to give us the next infusion, the chairman of the executive committee told us about an incident that recently happened to him here.
It was just the height of winter, January, on the street freezes for minus forty overflow, and hearing the noise outside the window, he looked out into the window and saw the following picture on the square: on the snow covered by cars, the man laid the blanket, all the clothes carefully folded next to him, and the man himself was naked, in shorts standing on the blanket. His hands are crossed on his chest and he slowly turns to one side, then to the other. The president did not let go and went out to this idiot. To his question, what are you doing here? He replied proudly, “Don’t you see that I am lighting up!”The weather was sunny. This is how anecdotes are born.
These sick people from the psychiatric dispenser were mostly harmless and they were often attracted to various jobs that did not require much intellectual labor, to work they went with great pleasure and were proud of this.
And not far from the district center was a vegetable farm, and as it was in the USSR, workers of external organizations were involved in the harvesting of vegetables, we were no exception. Once we were thrown to the breakthrough: urgently collect the cucumbers from a fairly decent territory, and the humor was that yesterday these people from the dispenser worked on this field. And, as the brigadier told us: before the start of the work, she showed them a small cucumbers, crushed as an example, these need to crack the cucumbers. And in the end, not a lot of cucumbers were collected, but all as one for selection - one size.

I will not be able to convince you, so I will immediately go to the insults.

You should go wrong and you will be sent where you need to. c) Knight

Not mine, but I liked it very much. From the comments to the article on the modernised telephone call.

I remember at the service in the SA in our battalion broke the sirene-revoon (broken such a device of the size of a large tablet, designed to give the signal of combat/educational alarm)... And since at that time I (on the post of a telephone worker) carried a night guard on the army telephone switch, a good praportera ticked this ashes to me... type, "on the counter, professor"...
There are almost no calls at night, so I repaired it quite quickly... Well, and on joy decided to check out :)

Three minutes later, the personnel of our battalion (as well as two neighbors) stood in front of their barracks in full combat condition, and even a minute later, a standing officer on the part of the starley broke out with the eyes, and waving a tabular PM...

I was saved by a call from the brigade, which resulted in an effective training alarm... How surprised was the checking colonel, who entered the CPC almost immediately with a call and saw four built companies - dressed, stuck, in anti-gases... All according to the charter and the corresponding prescriptions...

Our officers were thanked, they were awarded prizes... And under this case, I took a two-week vacation home... This is the electrotechnique :)...

You won’t be full of sex, but you won’t get stuck with a borsch.

I love the storm in early May. And hurricanes in February, so that everything burns and explodes. I am a NTV reporter.

from ZH:

"All would be your problems. I know people who are looking for an occam shave case :)"

A husband needs a wife to feel happy when he is not at home.

Gentleman on Bentley provoked a major accident in Moscow

The 19-year-old driver of a luxury class was performing "drift" on the ice when he collided with "Subaru".

> This is the same with the sticker "fighting fraudsters and thieves"! I saw today!

Zombik: After two years working in the club as a loudspeaker, he learned to fall asleep under a drama and bass, after that he worked a year as a loudspeaker in karaoke and learned to fall asleep even under drunken swings... And after that you suggest me to get up under a phone alarm?! to