bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 31 - ] Comment quote №77605
 19.02.2013
We work with one provider. A nice aunt (t) calls and says she doesn’t have the internet. After communicating with the engineer (s) and resolving the problem, decided to go:
T: Well, I’ve been tormented by your internet, there’s always some trouble going on with it.
A: Do not worry about it. The next time you are tormented by the internet, you call us, we will turn it off for you.

[ + 29 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №77604
 19.02.2013
by Pikachu
Kas_alex: inheritance or recursion? Twenty years ago, my father was sitting in the shelter, listening to the group Aquarium and drinking the beer Jigulevo. Twenty years later, I sit in the shelter, listen to the group “Aquarium” and drink the beer “Zhygulevskoye”.

[ + 43 - ] Comment quote №77603
 19.02.2013
XXX is amazing! I installed Ubuntu parallel to the seven and the seven started to work somewhat faster.
YYY: Seven competition was heard.

[ + 35 - ] Comment quote №77602
 19.02.2013
<@myp> When I read bugfixes or the dwarf’s release, I want to meet with developers, squeeze their thumbs, look into their faceted eyes.

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №77601
 19.02.2013
It is no secret that in the shape of the jaw the crocodile Gena is an alligator.
But, if you insist, then the most similar shape of the jaw is a dumb crocodile.
And then it’s right to say this: The stupid Crocodile Gene... :)

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №77600
 19.02.2013
I say "Gosha, give me a jacket", meant a pillow under the pop))
Dac then another 10 minutes around the apartment was wearing away from the pins)

[ + 57 - ] Comment quote №77599
 19.02.2013
Only in St. Petersburg can the name on the poster of the ballet "Spartak" and write instead of it "Zenit".

[ + 31 - ] Comment quote №77598
 19.02.2013
I work in Africa. A local carrier approaches me (call "Odessa"). Black and black, but trying to splash a little in Russian. In general says - "passenger net, fly empty". It is like a desert, you should say "empty". What he answers - "hahaha, you are kidding... hahaha pussy toy"

[ + 33 - ] Comment quote №77597
 19.02.2013
Are you really a vegetarian?
YYYYYY: Yes But I eat meat. It is delicious.

[ + 31 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №77596
 19.02.2013
In Ikea appeared a set for the bedroom "OFELIA BLAD"

[ + 35 - ] Comment quote №77595
 19.02.2013
I laid my eye off, in the kitchen all morning the cat cries and tries to fuck the shabby, the floor above will hear whether the children, or mammoths, and cries like hyenas.
Shortly speaking, he will not be lucky if he first asks how I am doing today, because I will be long and boring to tell how I am doing.

[ + 38 - ] Comment quote №77594
 19.02.2013
Sometimes it seems that for Lexus some people have calculated the remains of their brains.

[ + 32 - ] Comment quote №77593
 19.02.2013
X: Good day! Who has a high noise system unit sign off (name and office number)
Y: And why?
y: show the noise where it decreases?

[ + 40 - ] Comment quote №77592
 19.02.2013
How is a mother’s vacation?

WOW: It is great. I woke up in the middle of the seventh, cooked meat, poured tea, fed my husband, washed the dog's legs, fed, washed dishes, washed her head, dressed, painted, dried her head, thrown garbage, went to see 3 apartments, returned home, finally wrote, cooked soup, made a pompon, cooked a baked dish, threw underwear to wash, cooked pasta, hanged underwear. I am resting!

The main thing is that I have not confused anything.

[ + 36 - ] Comment quote №77591
 19.02.2013
Talk about career and marriage:
Find a husband!
No, work on it.
Remember, the career ladder has no end, but the husband has it.

[ + 49 - ] Comment quote №77590
 19.02.2013
Comrades who "charge" porn sites, are you really sure that I will click on the "Share to VKontakte" button, "I like" or "Tweet"?

[ + 46 - ] Comment quote №77589
 19.02.2013
XX: Here, the commander of communion walked around the rooms, looking for animals. He said that he would get rid of all his pets by 1 number. And we don’t even have a cat, but puppies, they are quiet, they don’t run away and they don’t even smell! Could I hide it?

You say it’s not food, it’s food. Dinner so to say.

[ + 33 - ] Comment quote №77588
 19.02.2013
Title of News:
The volume of the program to protect Russia from space threats was estimated at 58 (!!!) Millions of rubles"
Now I’m pretty sure it wasn’t a meteorite! :)

[ + 37 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №77587
 19.02.2013
Did you start drinking? I’d rather buy... well, I don’t know – a tighter cell phone, or jeans new!
I’ve noticed lately that things don’t please me. Here are some new, unknown feelings.
and UGU. Cirrhosis of the liver is a new, unknown sensation.

[ + 46 - ] Comment quote №77586
 19.02.2013
I stood smoking on the stairs, a girl climbing the stairs, such a glamorous blonde, equating with me asks:

Q: What floor is this?
I am the third.
Q: Where is the fifth?

I look at her and think it’s not for nothing that there are so many jokes about blondes.

The best quotes and jokes from the bezdna