I go to the cosmetics department in Green. I ask for a brush for shadows)) and in the cart 5 bottles of vodka. The seller smiles and says: with this amount of vodka you can not paint)))))))

The most dangerous kind of enemy troops are their own traitors.

I know, I work in a taxi. We have such a service “treat driver”. It was 5 years ago, I accepted the order for this same service. The night from Sunday to Monday, the end of the winter, the time is so 3, I come, I see a car - a jeep, big, I don't remember exactly the brand, and it doesn't matter, still so slightly raised, all in kangaroos, rubber dusty, not for the swamps of course, but for Moscow very seriously. Suitable customer, in dimensions quite corresponds to the car, the lady is 45-55, in a state called "light surprise", we sit down, we go. We came to her house, and the house such a "candle" one-way, 20 floors. To the house from the prospectus goes such a narrow path, on one side a wall of garages-shelves, on the other trees and, accordingly, a roof. We walked around the house, there was no room. The client says - go to the prospectus, we go back on this same path and here she is visited by the idea, let's say, between the trees we put! I explain to her, the swarm is above the hood, you can't drive away, you need to park with a 90-degree turn, let's sit for sure. She said, “No, we don’t sit down.” I say if we sit down - to me without complaints. No problem, I want to go to sleep. I turn on all kinds of blockages, lowering, give a gaze, pierce that sughrobe with a kangaroo and, naturally, sit tightly "on the belly." The wheels are all rotating, and the machine is not even moving. Is she sitting? - Of course, we sat down, and it was deaf, only to dig, we stood between the trees, behind the shells, can not be dragged and from the house too all the road was blocked. And then there was the phrase that caused this story here: "Here is your money for delivery, and I will go to wake this goat, let it now do what it wants, and forge out! “You won’t sit on this, you won’t sit on this.”

And if you listen carefully at night, you can hear how in a huge mansion on the outskirts of the city, at the fireplace, the mayor’s roar is crushing.

Teachers in the Army.

Potatoes to clean snow

On a clear road.

The enemy could come to them and eat.

My son was removed in September! From First Class! For the behavior!
I studied for only four days, I was called and told that they did not intend to tolerate this, he calls the teacher a fox and breaks the lessons.
The husband went to talk to the teacher. I met this cow with Yaga near school!He talked, and then promised me to explain to the child the difference between a fox and a bitch.
I barely answered, we agreed to buy a baby ice cream and go to a private school. I’m studying there now and it’s fine.

I: Look at the mailbox, there should be a notification.
Younger: What kind of notification?
I: Look at the mailbox, is there a notification on my name?
What kind of box?
I am the mail!! It hangs at our door.

This is the generation for whom a mailbox is just an e-mail.

to this:

"Discussions about news on 4pda:
The Horizon app will allow you to take photos and videos only horizontally
In the App Store appeared the Horizon app for iPad and iPhone, which allows you to take photos and videos only in horizontal mode regardless of the position of the device.No matter how you hold the smartphone or tablet, while the camera is on, the app automatically switches between the portrait and landscape modes depending on the angle of inclination of the device.

XXX is wow! It is done! You also need an app that prohibits shooting a photographer in the mirror.

– – – – – – – –
And it’s blowing the current when it’s pulling out the lips :)

In fact, specifically in terms of gasoline prices, Russia is in the eighty-last place among the developed countries of the world. and c)
XXX: I discovered a new number for myself
xxx: Eighty last >_<
yyy: And, judging by reference, the eighty last is 79
Eighty-first will be 71.
YYY : No. It is 81
A long discussion
yyy: Ah, I remember the year nineteen last %)
xxx: >_<
xxx and yes. The subject of Sissy is not disclosed
YYY: Three-Last Size Breasts
xxx: Agas, and nipples at 0.7 mm height
zzz: (rofl) the hell will look strenuous if I lucky in the office get my nipple and measure my nipple?! to
Depending on what you measure.
ZZZ: the ambulance
XXX: Better with the Stangencircle
Better a fucker. What else to measure a nipple than a curvy meter?
xxx: yyy, it’s too erotic
Zzzz: I know what it is
zzz: but what is a quarimeter o_o
yyy: Curvometer - instrument for measuring the length of curved lines
XXX: If she starts driving this by the nipples...
xxx: mmmmmm
Yyy: In front of the boss
X: Oh, there’s such a boss – and what are you doing here? And you're him - oh, please keep it, or I'm uncomfortable to measure.
Yyy: And his chest in his hand is a helmet. A curved curved curve.
zzz: (rofl) stop me my turbulent fantasy is awakening and I'm easily excited

Discuss Bieber’s ability to collect a Rubik’s Cube in 2 minutes:
helen87: Something is very doubtful about Bieber. Pieter probably.
woland24: The Rubik’s Cube is just in his hands, and it’s gathered in two minutes "so that this pitch quickly puts me in place".
helen87: :D ears... fucking... I’m at work...

From Khabr, comment to the topic "Bank of Russia against the “monetary surrogate” of Bitcoin":

Shtorkin: “Everything we can’t spit out is forbidden.”

Prezik Yanyk — 26.01.2014, 16:51
The action plan should be as follows:
- the army becomes on the side of the needle (they swore loyalty to the people and not 3.14dollars to deputies/ministers)
- Takes control of the situation in the country, dismisses betrayal, preaching and ministries
Arrest of all oligarchs (ahmet, firta, powder, colomoy, etc.)
Return of all their enterprises to the State
Filling the budget by these companies
- holding elections from the Maidan/NATION, not allowing any of the current traitors to be re-elected

good weather — 26.01.2014, 17:07
In your plan missed first--salp Aurora...and further as in the text)))

Naibulina says: It is not the ruble weakening, but the dollar and the euro.
YYY: If this is a mistake, then it is absolutely correct. It is the greatest.)

zzz: One bad man called me "a bad woman"
YYY: What about you?
Zzzz: What am I?

All believers will burn in the atheistic emptiness of nothing.
Is it necessary to burn?
XXX: Believers don’t like when they are given a choice. Therefore... necessarily.
What about atheists?
Atheists will go to the atheist paradise out of nothing. Logically is.
YYY: What’s the difference, if there and there – nothing? It is :)
Faith is the ability to distinguish nothing from nothing. Nothing, you know, it is different.

From the forum:
XXX is:
I need an admin notebook for Android.
Is there such a miracle?
A bunch of remote offices, you come, you start digging into papers, searching for ip, passwords, etc.
Ideally, of course, the proga would be more textured, i.e. The ready-made text could be uploaded.
The list of office equipment would be good to store in this notebook.
and etc.)

YYY :
We also need an admin. So that when you go to a remote office, he used the GPS to determine where you are going, call that office, find out what the problem is, googled and gave a solution. And you are like that, all in a black latex suit, with the letter A on your chest and a drum in your hand, with the words "I will save you all" you go to the accounting office.

At work, it didn’t get stuck. The procurement department found that there is a test Wi-Fi on which the container and classmates are not involved. The most epic is to observe the pleasant face of the headbush, going to the sort with a laptop)

Yesterday at a corporate event, the director broke his nose. Timbuilding has become Timbuilding.

from what is harmful))
and pf
I am useful
In homeopathic doses
How much is it? 😉
Tagged: hz
How to divorce :D

A new super-toxic substance, one gram of which is potentially capable of killing up to two billion people, has been found in the feces of a child suffering from botulism.

-Who is buried in the excretions of a child suffering from botulism? Show us this hero!