bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №77425
 15.02.2013
Anyone besides me was thinking '??' between '+' and '-' should also be pressed?

[ + 32 - ] Comment quote №77424
 15.02.2013
WT: My husband and I decided to try a snack for the Day of Love. After the extraction, he described her appearance with the words "She is dead. She must be buried."

[ + 35 - ] Comment quote №77423
 15.02.2013
Judging by the crowd of cafes, February 14th is a day when single girls in small groups gather in different establishments and carefully convince themselves and their friends, which, in general, is not very much wanted.

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №77422
 15.02.2013
Come to the dekanate, ask about the transfer to the budget, maybe!
I don’t want to, my aunt is sitting there. Go by yourself!
Oh well please! I am afraid x
I am also x)
zzz ha ha... and this is the conversation of the senior and proforga =.=

[ + 37 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №77421
 15.02.2013
Business lunch in an Irish cafe – four liters of beer.

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №77420
 15.02.2013
In the group about dreams, controlled dreams and the like (i.e. About dreams, dreams and so on. Admin offered to meet in Moscow. The first comment:

The class! And what shall we do? to sleep? )

[ + 38 - ] Comment quote №77419
 15.02.2013
I asked the teacher a method to scratch, and he says to me, I will not give you it, because you are a girl, and the girls always cheat.

[ + 48 - ] Comment quote №77418
 15.02.2013
The wife in the Maine Coon breeding house has a cat with the spoken name Varlak
So he until - 25 sleeps on the street in wood, and only if it's cold, he goes to his volier.

He is entertained by chasing rural cats and pollinating rural cats, one time at night scared all the villagers in general, especially the drunkards.

And since there is a local cemetery nearby, at one time there was an unhealthy atmosphere in the area.

Village grandmothers even went to the local daddy and complained about the wickedness, which among the tombs at night blinkers and bats terribly.

[ + 41 - ] Comment quote №77417
 15.02.2013
I read the announcement:
Deprivation of virginity 50 thousand rubles.
I think I’m being offered to spend or earn.

[ + 35 - ] Comment quote №77416
 15.02.2013
xxx: but there is no shash as such that the name does not exist". Even if you call it a circle, even if you call it a circle...
Five is great!
And her brother will have Olga! Probably the oldest :)
xxx: yes, somewhere I read about this, the kind of girls are called Fives, and the boys are Ytsukens
Yitzhaken will be a younger brother.
In his passport will be written Qwerty.

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №77415
 15.02.2013
A large sedan is a large seat.

[ + 54 - ] Comment quote №77414
 15.02.2013
of valentine.

A former classmate told me a day ago, we will call her Valais in honor of the upcoming holiday. For lovers of finding real prototypes, I will clarify what I told on Skype, and I have changed some details if possible.

In Val and now, after the birth of the second grandson, men look around on the streets. And thirty years ago, at her feet was our entire third course in full composition. But the girl did not exchange, but chose the most circular option - a five-year-old, a secretary of the Komsomol committee, a beautiful man with the appearance of a former Russian hero. And everything went well with them, until Valya, having not discovered the prescribed illness in time, delighted her hero with the prospect of becoming a father soon. It was here that it turned out that the rich man did not mean anything like that, he did not plan to get married, it was not love, but free sex of free people, and in general she did not protect herself - and get rid of herself.

Parents were blowing about the same dude: where to give birth, you still have to study and study, here we have a familiar doctor, will do with anesthesia, you will not even feel anything. Valya approached the problem philosophically, abortion is abortion, not the first, not the last. I got into the tram and went to the doctor. But something like that under a spoonful of grief and disturbance.

I will try to explain why this topic emerged in our conversation right now, on the eve of the day of all lovers. We did not know about St. Valentine at the time. First, it was in mid-February. And secondly, there is a love letter in the case, although very peculiar. Now it will be about him.

Here is Valya on the tram. He broke the box and put it in his coat pocket. I was surprised to find a candy in my pocket. Good, chocolate, brand “Golden Nivea”. Such even in Moscow sold far from every gastronomy and cost almost ten rubles a kilo.

Upon opening the envelope, Valya was really surprised. Inside the fantasy candy was wrapped in a note. On the fragment of a notebook sheet, the curved handwriting of a child who had just learned to write was written:

I love you, I love you, I love Rome.

Valya was neither religious nor sentimental. She tried to explain the origin of the note in a rational way, but nothing succeeded. She loved sweets, but it was this kind of candy she hadn’t seen for a long time. She had no acquaintances named Roma. The number of children of preschool and junior school age is not much more. This coat she did not wear since autumn, until yesterday she was in a coat, so there was no chance that someone accidentally put a candy in the pocket in the closet.

In general, with all unbelief in mysticism, it turned out that it was impossible to ignore such an obvious indication from above. Valeria chewed the candy (tasteful!) He moved into a meeting tram. Parents face a choice: either they accept the role of grandparents, or tomorrow they will have one daughter less. And she will somehow live and even the institute will end, in our country single mothers are supported.

After consideration, the parents chose the first option. A single mother did not have to be: at the place liberated from the Komsomol leader immediately found at least three applicants, who were not bothered by Valin's growing stomach. Learned by the bitter experience, Vala chose the most humble, I would even say, the most overwhelming one, and by the time of birth she was already happily married. Where she is still, unlike many of her merchants, who married for love and had time to divorce since then, some not once.

Having given birth (a boy, whoever doubts), Vala backed up the horn again: the child will be called Roma and nothing else. No one supported her, but the younger sister-six-class sister was the most shocked:
My name will be like my romance.
What is your romance? Valerie was vigilant.

Here it all turned out. It turns out, the six-grade students had a first class, and one of the first-class students in the winter suddenly sparked love for Masha. Love was manifested in the fact that he made the most noise, hooliganized and did not want to put a foot. Masha eventually could not stand it and crushed him with a penalty on the head. The next day, Romchik brought a candy. Masha did not eat candy, because she was still angry, and so that the good didn't disappear, she put it in her sister's pocket.

Walia re-read the note again. Yes, of course, it wasn’t “Mama” that was written, but “Masha,” as she didn’t read right? He called his son Rome.

[ + 45 - ] Comment quote №77413
 15.02.2013
Love makes people cleaner. At least, it makes you wash, shave and wash socks.

[ + 50 - ] Comment quote №77412
 15.02.2013
No Woman No Cry
No woman no cry

No man no problem.

No hands no jam.

No Ass No Adventure

[ + 33 - ] Comment quote №77411
 15.02.2013
Nothing increases self-esteem like someone else’s stupidity.

[ + 36 - ] Comment quote №77410
 15.02.2013
Call for support from the provider:
Hello to you, support.
I: Hi, I have such trouble, half of the foreign resources do not come in.
You probably have a virus. Check the PC.
I: I am reading a lecture about my IT education
Go banally on Facebook.
Sapphire: a second
"5 minutes of silence"
Tagged with: hm
Have you caught the virus too? ]:->

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №77409
 15.02.2013
Only a girl can answer.
My wife took the car and drove to the city. I came and asked where the car was, so that I couldn’t look for it in the morning, and he replied, “I put it there, only elsewhere.”
O_O

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №77408
 15.02.2013
> I have to communicate with the Chinese at work. I haven’t met any more clever partners.

That’s because you didn’t work with Indians))

[ + 47 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №77407
 15.02.2013
The daughter tells about the PDD, which she is taught in the auto school. What should I do if the car is stuck on a railway move in a deserted area? We need to disembark the passengers and immediately send them to look for the torch. Having found the torch (if they do not find it, they are allowed to smash it themselves out of false materials), they must go along paths in different directions up to three kilometers to stop the trains. The driver remaining in the car should try to strike her from the move. If you (!!!) If she fails, she must get into the car and sign the Morse alphabet with the letter "B". Why the letter "B"? No, I would have thought of this letter too, but it can’t mean the same thing. It means... the word "bad". In fact, they were asked in the auto school to guess which letter to signal. The variants "J" and "X" were proposed. Why not SOS? Because it is too difficult. “Are you there and the Morse alphabet taught you?” "No, only the letter "B"" In general, if in a deserted area near the railway, someone hears the letter "B" in the Morse alphabet, then you need to run to the sound and help to push the car out of the move.

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №77406
 15.02.2013
On February 9, the husband installed and registered in the game "World of Tanks"
On February 14th, I received a vibrator as a gift.
Here I sit and think these two events are somehow connected or not :(

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