Who are you working for?
I am in the Russian squad!
A, what is the palace?
and ah :(

Talk with a familiar TP, about a new boyfriend
He’s so cute, he’s also a musician!
A: What did you get from?
X: Tomorrow he says, on leather flute will learn to play!

A man rings into the office and with a terribly low voice:
I need a director.
I: I don’t have anything to convey?
This is a cat! let me call again!!! to
I sneeze, I cough, I rub, I can’t understand anything, so that I can somehow twist, I say: you are interrupting! repeat!
It’s even worse: I’m a cat Oleg! let the director call me back!
The Buddhas!!I think he specifically developed such a terrible voice, to be in contrast with the name)))))))))))

Fuck, the people, like the jokes about the Cat Schrödinger, the people no longer understand the meaning, all objects possessing some duality in terms of their inflamed brains is the Schrödinger. One eblan even called himself Schrödinger’s guy...Erwin in the grave already when turning around at near-light speeds! Really end it!! to

xxx: Tonight I had a dream in which I was asked to see the configuration of the server on which our universe operates. I looked at it, but it seemed like I was wrong somewhere, because after the reload, the solar system immediately collapsed into a black hole.

XXX: It was uncomfortable.

On Friday, there was a shooting between the police and the gang.
The bandits were better and won. Then again they caught the car with mints and shot. Now the Mentov chiefs are pretending that an outspoken gang has attacked peaceful resting Menths.
True, peaceful minds were, for some reason, at the disarmament with machine guns and in the civil. In other words, it was about drug trafficking.
Mass controls are being carried out in the city. Under the noise, the prosecutor’s office thundered commercial enterprises, thundered accountants and notaries. In short, everyone steals as they can - who commercials, who drug addicts.

xxx: Here in the neighboring chamber lies a girl she was riding a carousel and broke 3.14
XXX: I can’t even imagine how
XXX: I can be more accurate, but shit.

Aaa> Strange that there is no asphalt anywhere. This is precisely the weather we need.
bbb> So somewhere the water is even more and the roads are there

People are like snow
I’t say I hate snow, but when it hits you in the face...
XHH: Same with people.

Today we have a contest! Whoever sends the first photo of a nuclear fungus from his mobile phone, he will get this... remarkable T-shirt with the inscription "Care, radioactive corpse!"

I work in photography.
The lady comes in, says "Are you a photocopy?"
I answer: "no original"
She left...

In the news will be in a year: the U.S. team did not come to the Olympics in Sochi because of the anti-gay law adopted in Russia. B first comment: "here are the piddars"

Are you going to a concert on Friday?
Until I am not sure.
Why is?
- Today is only Monday, the scale of work accidents on Friday is unpredictable. We have a flexible calendar.)

"Green pig fell from a tree, stuck with fur behind the branches and fell on the foot of the firemen"-explaining our cleaner with a hammer)))

No, you can’t be such a fool.
Looking for a breast tumor in herself, she almost settled in those two seconds until she realized that she stumbled on the rib.

DataGreed: эх, before, philosophical arguments were more fun
DataGreed: – Not the fruit of entities, not the fruit, shit!
DataGreed: Okay Okam! Take off the shave!

Lectures in Physics.

You drink a piece of titanium. They picked him up and found out that he weighed 2.2 tons. What will we learn from this?
Student: I am unbiasedly strong. Two tons of weight :)

Never remove the remains of garlic from the turkey!

Sasha grey tea!
Why is she a cowboy, she’s a professional!! to
I mean Sasha! Turn on the tea!

by Habr

kekekeks
Crowdfunding should work well in writing, right? The writer comes the idea of the book, he exposes it to potential readers, they collect the necessary amount, after which the book is quietly written. With this arrangement, you can even publish chapters as they are written, receiving feedback from the audience.

Numitus
Maybe even so. If I get $10,000 in a week, I won’t kill the protagonist.