bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 14 - ] Comment quote №122834
 10.01.2016
The human psyche does not do such miracles, but is still poorly studied, for the head is a dark object.

And the physiological mechanisms, of course, are a foolish thing to study, for sweat and blood are disgusting and uninteresting compared to the eternal radiance of pure reason.

333: (...) non-stalinism has been studied since the 19th century. Of course, you could have swallowed, but why, isn’t it?

222: Thank you, 333, now I know the correct phrase about the fat layer, the effect of which with the mouth foam denies 111. The Leidenfrost effect is a phenomenon in which a liquid in contact with the body is much hotter than the boiling point of this liquid, creates an insulating layer of steam, which protects the liquid from rapid burning. Physics, physiology and no esoterics. That I, the author of the original text, personally swallowed his hand into the fire many times, and was required to prove.

[ + 20 - ] Comment quote №122833
 10.01.2016
The voice of this girl’s voice scares me, frankly.
yyy: excites *
YYY: very good translation
YYY: Tell me where to donate?
YYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY

[ + 20 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №122832
 09.01.2016
XX: Degree of Dependency: He left reading only when a nuclear explosion burned the reader's electronics and being extremely dissatisfied, approached the window and discovered that a nuclear apocalypse had begun.

[ + 21 - ] Comment quote №122831
 09.01.2016
After the New Year holidays, a call to technical support.
Q: Hi, and connect me with the ipad, please
O :?? to
Q: I need an iPad... Or a programmer, but better an iPad, I told him on this number can be found
and OK. What is the problem?
P: Blabla (a standard problem solved by a user’s nose ticking)
Do you work with a comp or a note?
P: from the cell
O :?? to
P: Well with comp.
A: Strange, you are not on the user list. Are they called you?
Q: Andrew, but I work like Alexander on a laptop.

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №122830
 09.01.2016
I am a midwife. The son (6 years) has decided for a year to become an anesthesiologist-reanimator - enthusiastically intuits soft toys and works on the doll of his younger sister. His idol is George Kyle from a series of documentaries about the CMP of Yekaterinburg. So he said:
The doctor must always study, see well and take care of his health... (pause)... from the patients!and c)

[ + 32 - ] Comment quote №122829
 09.01.2016
xxx: DiCaprio in the "Survivor" looks extremely tortured, no longer that pretty guy from my youth...
yyy: Of course, such a dicaprio would survive on the Titanic, swimming at the door to the shores of Argentina, eating meat Kate Winslet))

[ + 29 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №122828
 09.01.2016
Note on the RBC: "Three metal balls that fell from the sky in Vietnam were made in Russia. This was stated by the deputy head of the General Staff of the army Vo Van Tuan, reports the portal Vietnamnet".

dyk_de_bosch: One broke, the other lost: here everything is clear. Third from where?

[ + 31 - ] Comment quote №122827
 09.01.2016
The dining room. At the table is a man aged 22-24, a woman aged 30 and a 6-year-old boy.

The man stands up and goes to the distribution. The boy :

Bring me a compot!

The mother:

What kind of serpent is he? He is Yuri’s uncle.

There are so many that I don’t remember. Let it be serenity.

Then he turned and showed two fingers:

The Serpent! Two compounds...

[ + 32 - ] Comment quote №122826
 09.01.2016
W: Under the window screaming, screaming, going to see
W: There is a circus.
w: a man who drinks like I don't know who, drinks something matte and slowly clothes up with a challenge, lying in a bowl.
w: near swirls (judging by the replicas of alkasha) "Alka-sterva" and "techa-padla-haire- bottle-without vodka-gondocha-without lubrication";
W: not sober either.
W: Dressed
w: and that "wants to go out"
w: screams "All TEN"
w: and "BABY-SUKI"
W: The snow falls in them
W: Trying to dig deeper into the belly.
W : O
W: Someone threw Scotch out of the window above them
W: The crowd gathered
w: wrapping an uncle in Scottish clothing (cwl)
w: I can’t (cwl) (cwl)
w: his grandmothers wrapped him deadly, they try to lift up, and he has "forgetting in the snow"
W: They hit right behind their feet.
W: one for one, the other for the other
w: it is ?))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))
w: wrapped on the whole street oret "And WE ARE EQUAL" and "PELENALI, DEMONS"

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №122825
 09.01.2016
Of all the perverted, the easiest for necrophils - movies about zombies can be watched completely legally.
WOW: Zoophiles are even easier - Animal Planet is full of movies about animals, and even with relevant scenes.

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №122824
 09.01.2016
I love men like cats, dogs, hamsters: I like them, I can admire them in the zoo, but I will not take them home.

[ + 21 - ] Comment quote №122823
 09.01.2016
I watched the last part of Potter. So he imagined the final scene: Prof McGonagall approaches Harry and says:
“Potter, it’s so wonderful that the butterfly is now obeying you! With her help, we can restore the whole of Hogwarts in one touch! Do we do that?! to
Harry, who just broke and threw out the steepest artifact:
Oh yeah...
The curtain.

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №122822
 09.01.2016
Today I want to offer you an idea for a business where you can (with some hard work and luck) earn billions of rubles.
Or millions of.
Or even suffer losses if the idea doesn’t “shoot.”

[ + 32 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №122821
 09.01.2016
Cats on the bridges.
I am interested in something else. I have never seen dogs crossing the road on the green, and cats never. What do dogs see in black and white? Okay in the cities where the lighting for the blind-played "bird", you can go - but on the country roads? I thought they take an example from people, like everyone went means you can, but here is the Fig. Every time I drive through one village to work and from work, and I often see there one saucer crossing the road at a crossroads. Once I watched the picture of pedestrians red, the dog is waiting alone. I brake at the crossroads, I turn. A body breaks across the road. The dog looked after him and waited for the green.
For cats such not observed, always break through the road with the fatality of true kamikaze, right under the wheels (

[ + 24 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №122820
 09.01.2016
Carrot Thunder:
When I was not home, my uncle came to visit. He apparently turned on the computer and, when he saw Linux, summarized to me later that the computer had broken down.

[ + 37 - ] Comment quote №122819
 09.01.2016
19278: Thanks to such enthusiasts to allow all kinds of incomprehensible bodies to enter the entrance, not so long ago, a bunch of apartments were surrounded. Just one passed by, putting on a leaflet with a bunch of advertisements. Others then passed by, checking who took the garbage and who did not. And they came in guests to those whose boxes are filled and advertisements on the doors. So keep unclear who enters the new building, you will be thanked later.

[ + 39 - ] Comment quote №122818
 09.01.2016
Clubs are the grocery of all immorality, pairs and emptiness.

Yyy: and illiteracy

[ + 50 - ] Comment quote №122817
 09.01.2016
Pornography gives today’s youth a perverted and unrealistic idea of how quickly... a sandwich can come to challenge.

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №122816
 09.01.2016
Comments on the film "The Survivor" on one of the blocked resources:
xxx: For the atmosphere is fun late at night to play in Skyrim and after watching this movie))I recommend it to everyone!
A: You can just go out to the streets, the inhabitants of most regions.

[ + 36 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №122815
 09.01.2016
told a acquaintance. He has a boss, a good man, but not physically digestive when his subordinates get out of work, even if they just work fast. Yesterday, the comrade somehow got all the intermediate calculations and other small instructions of the boss too quickly. The chief was even sorry - so much effort was needed to invent new idiotic assignments for his humble person. At eight o’clock he said:



– Listen, run away... – and he thinks where to send him.



One of my colleagues says loudly: - On x#j.



After a moment, the chef makes a splash and says, “OK, I’m going to go myself.”

The best quotes and jokes from the bezdna