bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 47 - ] Comment quote №122774
 08.01.2016
The substance. I go out of the store and see a lonely boy aged 7-8, playing a slot machine. It turns on people and with the characteristic sound of the "Wake" type shoots. It is my turn. I stopped sharply. I turn to him, he shoots, I fall dead. The boy rounded his eyes, moving on to cry, ran to his mom, who stood 7 meters from him, and nodded on the phone. The boy rushes to shout “Mommy, I killed my uncle!!!” He is lying there!”



At this time, I ride over the snow to the nearest stall and hide behind the car.



The boy runs to the place of my fall and, not finding me, cries, “He has survived!” I killed him and he lived!!! He will come after me!!” He ran to the nearest entrance, his mother followed him.



This is how I apparently inflicted a mental injury on the guy. It is foolish to target people.

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №122773
 08.01.2016
for a few days I can not go to the site litmir.co, it is an electronic library-in my opinion, one of the best. The inscription hangs We change Litmir for the better!, unfortunately it is not written who is changing.

[ + 21 - ] Comment quote №122772
 08.01.2016
xxx: Here’s an interesting fact I found: The world’s population spends 500,000,000 hours every day entering passwords.
yyy: It sounds like a field for optimization. Everyone at the key.
YYY: Although not, they will lose...

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №122771
 08.01.2016
There is only one inconvenient thing:
It is fearful to use the stolen in the place of the stolen.

Oligarchs are trying to live abroad.

[ + 21 - ] Comment quote №122770
 08.01.2016
Anakin was also hysterical. Just to the period of Darth Vader has already his psychic. This is generally logical - the dark side is based on emotionality initially - just adult and matte gifts are more successful in keeping emotions in themselves (continuing to experience), but younger and beginner are still cabbage.

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №122769
 08.01.2016
There is a lot of great in Miami. Art deco is amazing. The ocean is wonderful. and warm. The weather improved. But I was most impressed by the meeting with the alligators so far. They are like cats in a laundry. They are literally in all the canvases. On the left of the hawaii live alligators, and on the right - pitons. Sometimes some of them confuse the rams and cross the road to the neighbor. Then the bloody breakdown begins.

[ + 18 - ] Comment quote №122768
 08.01.2016
My friend and I smoke tubes.He very often forgets what I did not do, and I realized that this is not a dishonesty, but his clever plan: he never cleans his tubes, and when he "forgets" me, I do it and, by habit, clean it completely.

[ + 18 - ] [4 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №122767
 08.01.2016
Named the happiest countries in the world. The list of the happiest countries led Colombia - that they feel completely satisfied with life stated 85% of surveyed Colombians.

During the interrogation, they tried to stumble...


[ + 20 - ] Comment quote №122766
 08.01.2016
was sick. 3 hours of night. The husband (190cm and 95kg) went to the pharmacy and at the same time a dog (60cm and 40kg) to walk.
I lie down and I am scared. Suddenly someone will hurt them there without me. The night!

[ + 21 - ] Comment quote №122765
 08.01.2016
A man with a silica gel filler! Thank you very much for the holidays and holidays!

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №122764
 08.01.2016
The book store. Looking for Budzhold, I hear a voice at the end of the phone conversation:
What exactly did you read about Sherlock? Yes is? Or more accurately? and Moriarty? I will ask now.
A consultant calls, asks a quiet question. The consultant is as quiet as if answering confusedly. My aunt on the phone:
“You know, and Moriarty is a hero, not an author. So tell the teacher which Moriarty should be read.

I never thought I would live up to that, but you. Does the series affect that?

[ + 17 - ] Comment quote №122763
 08.01.2016
From the New Year's Holidays:

Many people don’t know what day of the week is.

[ + 31 - ] Comment quote №122762
 08.01.2016
This morning I came to work, walked the corridor without light and saw the ring stamp, went to the office, considered the test, the result: gold. I thought I would go to Lombard, I would feel the money of the lungs. After 15 minutes, I look at a man in the corridor with a lamp walking what he is looking for, without thinking I go out: "The ring is lost? Take it.” And I give him, in response a word of gratitude and phone number asks, say I will throw money on the balance sheet, I refuse, asks more persistently. After 15 minutes comes the message: "In your account received a payment for the amount of 40 rubles"...



I sat down and thought, maybe it wasn’t a gold ring?

[ + 35 - ] Comment quote №122761
 08.01.2016
While sitting under the door of the auditorium in the universe, he listened to the conversation of our masters.

"When we were discharged from the community, the watchman says to us, 'Oh, how sorry you are coming, you are so quiet, you are not visible, you are not heard all year, and before you such prostitutes lived here, they were noisy every night! We didn’t tell her that we lived here for four years.

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №122760
 08.01.2016
A review on AliExpress for car light bulbs:
Everything works. I wondered why I bought it, but I didn’t have a car.

Thanks to the eggs, I am not alone.

[ + 21 - ] Comment quote №122759
 08.01.2016
"The fools are lucky" - they say only when other people are lucky.

[ + 38 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №122758
 08.01.2016
The Russians have come up with a way not to pay for bank loans.

“The first with such an initiative were the residents of the Nuremberg district of Yakutia. Immediately several people placed in an inconvenient position employees of the regional FSB administration, sending them letters with competent explanations why they refused to pay for the loan. Such information with reference to Media2 is quickly spread by bloggers.

The content of the statements is approximately as follows:

“I took a loan from the bank, but then I did not know that the founders of the bank are foreign companies whose headquarters are located in NATO member countries. I am not against repaying the loan, but I cannot, since these acts fall under Article 275 of the Criminal Code of the Russian Federation, namely, the provision of financial assistance to a foreign state, international or foreign organization or their representatives in activities directed against the security of the Russian Federation.

According to the law, persons who have committed the crimes provided for in this article shall be exempt from criminal liability if they have notified the authorities. It is written in four pages with detailed explanations. Now in the UFSB are thinking what to do with these statements.

On the other hand, if a precedent is created, a big scandal can break out. The counterintelligence officers have 10 days to make a decision.

“Given that the founders of network companies are registered in Cyprus, the Cayman Islands, etc. (But not in Russia) - soon we will not be able to pay for the communal. There is nothing to help the enemies” – in this spirit comment on social networks this news, which seems to have found general approval among the inhabitants of the country.

Stirren on the spaces of the tyrnet, apparently there is a reason in this formulation.

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №122757
 08.01.2016
Do you want us to go to the jewelry store and find a gold ring with a diamond for you?
and no.
You listened to the miniature "conversation of the ideal husband with the ideal wife."

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №122756
 08.01.2016
Sorry to call so late.
You’re not too late, you’re really bad.

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №122755
 08.01.2016
I got the most reliable proof that I am a vegetable.
A goat tried to chew my hand.

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