bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 39 - ] Comment quote №107790
 06.01.2015
That is Rasha!
I work as a taxi. Customers quietly pulled off my hat, put it in their bag, and the bag... right, safely left on the back seat.

[ + 18 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №107789
 06.01.2015
It was originally about babies in cafes and restaurants. What can be the child's upbringing, and what does he do all night in the restaurant? Ten years ago, no one went to a restaurant with children up to a year ago. Right now and nearby. The fact that a child is uncomfortable to spend there all night is not an argument for such parents at all.
And older children - at 2-3 years, a normally educated child of adequate parents, who took with them various children's entertainment and are ready to pay attention to their baby there, can quite occasionally spend 1.5-2 hours in the restaurant without serious harm to themselves and others.


[ + 28 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №107788
 06.01.2015
A Negro came to Ukraine and stayed there in some station. 20 years have passed.
And here he is on the electric. The Negro himself with huge goats gray in a choklad village hat, in a shirt and wide pants with a choklad huge bag.
He enters the semi-station and sits in front of his grandfather, too. Grandfather arranges, He raises his eyes and looks at the neighbor with astonishment. The Negro, not paying attention, climbs into the bag, gets fat bread, onion, knife, cuts off a healthy piece of both and begins to snack, while brewing something from a turmeric paddle.
Grandpa can’t stand and asks:
Son, who are you?
Who... who... who... who... who! The Negro answered.
So who am I? My grandfather is scared.
Bishop knows you. You can be a mosque, you can be a Jew.

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №107787
 05.01.2015
The American depth is worse than the Russian - no free medicine, everyone sits without work on the velphar
– – – – –
Have you lived all your life on a wheel? Yes is? Could I be there? I was a very good girl. I worked my whole life, first as an engineer at the CB, then as an IT specialist in the hospital, now as a translator. Without work I did not sit a day, the salary was always white... 11 thousand I had a salary, now it was 16. We have a poor district. I hoped so much for my Soviet experience... I earned very well in the CB. But it turned out to be too little, and now at 55 years old I have a pension of 8 thousand. If it wasn’t for the Soviet Union, it would probably have been 6-7 thousand. EVERY LIFE to work and pay low contributions to the Pension Fund, and live on "velfar". No, I have already accepted that I will not apply for retirement before 60. If only the office in which I work did not burn! Where to find a job after 50 years? About "free medicine" in the depths - tell confident Americans. It is free, but medicines are very paid. About a specialist for a month in advance and about queues for hospitalization in a few months... and what to say there. Sadly the Americans.

[ + 19 - ] Comment quote №107786
 05.01.2015
XX wildly shouted that it was her, honest money, and that she was about to prove that she had earned them. "Prove it" said the investigator. After a week of XXX changed her mind and shouted that it was honest money, she honestly pumped it... gave it! "And who?" asked the investigator. " A very good man. He will say it himself!"- she cried XXX, and the topic quietly passed away. Because people who can donate 1.5 million euros in tax, do not like to go to the investigator - there, if you knock on the thread hanging from the sky, the elephant can fall accidentally, and not alone. No one wants to fit in for a crazy dumb aunt engaged in some muddy and non-money engine.

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №107785
 05.01.2015
Fuck, take the babies into the cafés, mate in the cravates, watch porn, read fantasy, shake the guys, just fuck leave this resource alone!

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №107784
 05.01.2015
Which stones are more valuable than diamonds?
The processors...

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №107783
 05.01.2015
Beauty as it says:
"What sin to hide!", joyfully reminded the passers exhibitionist Vasily.

[ + 19 - ] Comment quote №107782
 05.01.2015
Eldorado for the sake of God. 15,000 for teeth, for the sake of God. 2 000 for an air ticket in the innet - a call from the security service, do I book :))
— — —
And stupid wondering where you came up with the TV and new teeth)))

[ + 34 - ] Comment quote №107781
 05.01.2015
You owe your childhood discrimination!
Discrimination is a violation of rights. What, for instance, can be the right of a small child in a restaurant, where adults drink, sometimes heavily, take care of ladies in a frank decoult, allow themselves different adult conversations, and the music is so loud that it hits the ears.
Protect the child’s psyche – go to children’s cafes in the afternoon, and don’t talk about discrimination.

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №107780
 05.01.2015
Before the sleep. The girl with whom I have been together for almost a year: I sleep a long time, the main light is turned off and the headphones are taken.
For a long time I wanted to ask, but why is this ritual always and why do you sleep so long?
- Well, until you catch all the cockroaches, sort them out, reconcile and calm them down...
I marry. Just got married!

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №107779
 05.01.2015
The stitch was the most epic beginning of the cooking of eggs) I put them on fire, and left, rushed to the smell after 5 minutes. So, I advise, when you put the eggs to cook, pour more water.
Not just a hot pot with eggs on the bottom.

[ + 35 - ] Comment quote №107778
 05.01.2015
...and the most unrighteous person here is an adult, working and childless.

And if he is also an atheist, turn off the light.

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №107777
 05.01.2015
The tea is a pretext.
The tea was good.
The tea did not sleep today.
The tea knows what it is.
Tea is a pretext! Coffee is a pretext. We passed, we know!

[ + 30 - ] [2 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №107776
 05.01.2015
here here :

The second I mentioned elsewhere. A group of Japanese women, not very well speaking Russian, came to the restaurant. I ordered a cabinet in advance. My first thought was, as usual: Well, the hour of the hour is guaranteed. But they passed there quietly, some children with their feet, although there was almost my mother on her knees, some in a wheelchair or on her arms, the waitress took the children's table from them. One then cried, the rest of the solidarity sneered, but they were calmed very quickly. Then they also calmly separated. Everyone smiles, mothers are calm and friendly, children hold on to them, they are also quiet, look with curiosity. Strictness did not smell.
and...
For the Japanese, as far as I know, bringing problems with their behavior to the people around them is considered extremely impolite. Mentality is so.

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №107775
 05.01.2015
Wow here.
You don’t know Mommy. They, seeing the sign "With the children can not," even if they themselves did not fall into this cafe, and they were not going to go anywhere, but just went by - they will definitely raise the steam wheel to infringe on the mothers.
Of course, not all children's women are transformed into a "mammuleak", but the owner of the institution will be enough one-on-one per thousand passers, so that the matter does not cost a beloved brain.
......................

Because you should not write with "children ", but 18+
A is

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №107774
 05.01.2015
Smart people do not go to rallies - they explain to fools that they are independent, free, genius, the creators of History, and then send an anonymous e-mail the text of the poster and GPS coordinates, where to stand, and from how many to how many.

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №107773
 05.01.2015
Male and female logic.

She called her husband's mistress a prostitute - no reaction
called "theta with a low level of social responsibility" offended,
So the husband came up with the attack that his loved one is offended by a bad wife.

PS pulled him out of the house with things and order "go comfort 24 hours a day"
Both are dissatisfied.

[ + 20 - ] Comment quote №107772
 05.01.2015
Dream: I am at the Elon Musk conference. For some reason with a delegation with the guys from the karate section. Elon from the scenes shows the wonders of robotics (including some costumes that allow dolphins to swim faster). The hall is an aura of innovation and almost fantasy. And then from the back row rises some man and with such a characteristic, paternal speech on the whole hall shouts: "Robot, and you have a perforator, by chance, no one has with you?"

[ + 20 - ] Comment quote №107771
 05.01.2015
K: I quarreled with a guy because of the fact that some girls are added to him. I think I’m a jealous bitch...What do I do?
X: These are not girls, they are spare airfields. Do not relax.

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