I drove the girl in the car and she said:
She: Oh, you are so good. Marry to me.
I: I will marry you only on one condition – my engagement ring will be the Ring of Almighty.
She: How did you get your Star Wars?

I can’t communicate with her anymore.

Q: What do you pay attention to when dating a guy?
WOW: The presence of intelligence and its level.
I am 85

From the online bookstore:
Dear customers from Moscow. I draw your attention, that the city of Odessa (where books are sent), is not a station of the Moscow metro!

From the Marble Cancer Forum:
Does anyone need these wonderful animals?
Who do they need these stray grasshoppers?

Siberian

Minus twenty-two - do not sleep, Moscow!
Minus twenty-three - the sludge of substrate!
And at twenty-four, we are warm in the apartment!
Twenty-five is a joke!

Minus twenty-six - we will eat more!
Minus twenty-seven is not fuck at all!
Minus twenty-eight - please repeat!
Minus twenty-nine - we will wear vals!

Even in minus thirty – happy faces!
And at thirty one, we eat a plumber!
Minus thirty two – round the head!
Thirty-three and you look at it.

And thirty-four, what’s going on in the world?
Thirty-five are fucking fucking.
Thirty-six is already a gesture!
Thirty-seven is not funny at all.

Thirty-eight - we will ask for it!
Minus forty-three - dead snakes
minus forty-five - and crows, fucking
Minus forty eight - wear three shoes

Minus fifty - hair crumbles
Seventy-four – as in the Times Square
Minus ninety - just breathe
Ninety-two - Sleep My Moscow

I can’t understand if I’m a perverted person or if I haven’t eaten for a long time.
Do you want blood again? :)
Yes, I just feel like my socks smell like big-mack.

From the ASK:

XX: I decided to cook the peelings yesterday. I’ve gotten the pelmeni... well I think I’ll make the super pelmeni. I threw the laurel leaf, onion, spices broke... boil...
I watched their cheeks swallow. I think Narnia is ready.
I get one, I try... and there is a sausage inside...

I think, for example, those who walk without a hat at -20 are fools. I'm not about those who just run to the car, but who specifically walks on the street in the cold without a hat and apparently, as in childhood, think it's cool)))
UUU: I wear a cap when I’m frozen... And girls with naked backbone is better? Then the problems will come out!
The Vote. And then they will meet: one head is frozen, and she has everything below the belt. What a birth rate! ?

Commentary on the cartoon "Oh you speaking fish!" (where "Good E-Eh"):
"first manual on trolling!"

X: It seems normal. You are how?
Y: Yes as well. I want to drink
X: And I am...
Y: I know you are. I want to drink

Crimento once again convinced him that he lives in Russia.
Darkest: What is it about?
Crimento: on a small commercial building is written "sell" and a phone.
Crimento: and on the neighboring residential house is written "huy".
Darkest: What is this?
Crimento: the same color and handwriting.

xxx: By the way, I know a great story about the "eternal" engine! I have a friend who lives in Israel. For a whole year he invented the "eternal" engine. Sponsor allocated 1 million dollars))) The engine was made, worked and stopped))) Sponsor allocated another 1 million dollars))) Continuation I don't know, but it's a fact, people are working)))
Yyy: And not to teach the Jews of commerce)))

XXX: By the way, I’m wondering what next apple kiss will choose to name the next OS X... Well what kind of cat can be cooler than a lion? =) is
Review: OS X Pussy

There was once a case, I was not at home all day, apparently many times a day friends called the home phone. I come back in the evening, I call the home phone, I take my dad’s phone:
who?
Stats
If you go out with your Stase, go out of here, Webky!! to
Dad, what are you? This is I...
Oh well come in.

Repair of robot vacuum cleaners. That which are round such, themselves chase the quarry, cleaner.. So here, it is written with a mark: "Terminator model T1. The capture of humanity begins with cleaning)"

Applications for Android:
Your AK-47, An application that will allow you to skillfully handle the AK-47
A brief description:
Simulator of assembly and disassembly

The commentary:
XXX is
I recently bought an AK-47, and I don't know how to use it. This is just a finding, thanks to the author, it helped a lot.

In some companies there is a tradition: to make one day a week when you can come to work in jeans, so-called casual fridays.
In my company there are two such days: casual Saturdays and casual Sundays.

Tra-ta to Tra-ta to Tra-ta
We are breeding a cat!
A stupid cat!
I’m stuck in Xerox!

My attempts to learn programming in C++ failed at the first stage - download C++ and understand how it starts (((

Debate about the demotivator with the panda

xxx: "Do not be a racist. Be like a panda. He is black, white and at the same time Asian"
XXXX: and the extinct species