bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 44 - ] Comment quote №77145
 09.02.2013
The acquaintance told, he himself was an employee of the GIBDD, stood in reinforcement on the 3rd ring, after the tunnel, well, as the rules are, went into the tunnel, turn on the light, generally flying six with the headlights turned off, he stops it, and there a man like that is sitting, the Gaišnik asks him:
When you entered the tunnel, why didn’t you turn on the light?
And he answers:
Do I know where the light is on?! to
And then he swallowed and thought if I asked something wrong, if there was something wrong with him and in this stupor let him go.)

[ + 39 - ] Comment quote №77144
 09.02.2013
It was:
I wrote a diploma in the universe, a deputy dean passed by my lab, called me to myself, I went out to the hallway, we greeted the hand, discussed my work, smoked. This was seen by nearby smokers, smoked cigarettes and followed our example. The result is 6 words with possible deductions. The conclusion is that the graduate is good, the first student is death.

The action takes place in Russia, where the law works selectively. Has he not yet joined the parliament?

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №77143
 09.02.2013
Girls want big and clean.
RAF is not
Raf: this guys want) and girls want big and clean)

[ + 34 - ] Comment quote №77142
 09.02.2013
From the translators:
I remembered how one day at the request of the customer changed globally in a bunch of files "sensor" to "sensor" (inclines the same way!), and then hand-picked out countless "sensors" and even "receiver sensors"...

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №77141
 09.02.2013
A woman without a shirt always considers herself naked.

[ + 42 - ] Comment quote №77140
 09.02.2013
Speak to Freeman...

My friend had a Japanese gasoline. Only the electric. With features, the cable in her was killed in a "barbecue", and she was worn in a special suitcase. In the same suitcase was a ZIP in the form of chains, keys, lubricants and other items. With a cleaned cable, it looks like an ordinary small gasoline. Type of style.

He returns somehow from the country, and, waving his suitcase, goes home through the courtyard. And there are four such "sons" with a standard conversation:

Oh man, let me smoke.
Sorry, I am not smoking.

Then they make him an offer:

Let us give you the money and you give us the money.
- Yes, I, type, from work, slave, you see, where did the money come from, did I find them there?
Open your suitcase, what’s there?

Once you ask, please. He opens the suitcase, catches out this saw, removes the protection (there is a special lever), puts his hand on the hose, clicks on it (also the protection, two positions, push-shift), and asks:

to launch?

Those with open eyes (and who knows them, the Japanese, maybe she has an electrostarter, and I generally doubt that they have seen the engine at least once):

“A man, what do you really want to ask us about smoking?

And a barrel, a barrel, dissolved somewhere. He picked up his suitcase and went home.
A useful tool for the farm.

[ + 56 - ] Comment quote №77139
 09.02.2013
Hope Babkin, Alla Pugachev, Allena Sviridov... Unlike Angelina Jolie, Russian stars do not adopt children, but marry them.

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №77138
 09.02.2013
Keda
The main problem of the Mediterranean is the height of these males 140-150 cm.
Alexis
But their brutality is not their problem.

[ + 42 - ] Comment quote №77137
 09.02.2013
Conversation with my wife:
I have already decided that I’ll give you a gift for the 23rd. We will buy seat blankets in my car for you as a gift.
I: - Then I will buy a video card in my computer as a gift to you on March 8.

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №77136
 09.02.2013
Many do not know how to live in real life, but everyone has a plan on how to survive in the zombie apocalypse.

[ + 38 - ] Comment quote №77135
 09.02.2013
And, by the way, Winnie-Puch sang about Schrödinger’s honey:
"Everything is or is not. And honey – I don’t know what the secret is – if it exists, it doesn’t exist right away!

[ + 25 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №77134
 09.02.2013
A colleague looked at the balance sheet and sadly issued "Soon in the column "available balance" instead of the figure will be written "thank you for the work!".

[ + 35 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №77133
 09.02.2013
Every day for three months in the area of 13-14 hours in the quip I received spam of the following content: "Hello! Are you striking me hard?and "
This message has not arrived for a week.
Per something happened to her? Reply to! I miss it!!! to

[ + 42 - ] Comment quote №77132
 09.02.2013
X: Please help me translate the phrase: Try to guess it yourself!
Y: Try to guess yourself!
X: No, I am serious...

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №77131
 08.02.2013

[8:36:38] Pappa: In children’s mornings, boys were often dressed with rabbits and girls were dressed with snowflakes. Here they grew up - cowardly brides and ice women.
[8:37:25] Liska: heh )) I was a boy
Daddy: So what did you grow up with?
[8:38:03] Liska: designer x)

[ + 31 - ] Comment quote №77130
 08.02.2013
Bakss333: When I was a kid, I was not driven home from the street. What about CHO? There are no children on the streets. As in the GTA)

[ + 41 - ] Comment quote №77129
 08.02.2013
Postman falls out of seventh floor window and falls two weeks later
YYY: and not there landed
Zzzz: And it turned out that it was not him at all.

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №77128
 08.02.2013
After three acquaintances brought me a note for repair. Disc C cleared, mined to D, and there are exactly two folders:

Documents
Pornography

[ + 32 - ] Comment quote №77127
 08.02.2013
So it happened that the two-year-old daughter's favorite - blue: the car is blue, the dolphin is blue, a gift from Santa - in a blue box... The word "blue" became synonymous with "good". Before going to bed, she lashes, glimpses me on the face: "Maaamomochka... a..."

[ + 37 - ] Comment quote №77126
 08.02.2013
Oh those translators. This was supposed to be translated as Pool Break.

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