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[ + 44 - ] [2 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №25048
 20.01.2010
Piggy is fucking? Ashley Spurgeon? You need it, fools. And fuck off the BOR, because those who do not have enough brains to not run unknown exes are not needed here.
Bring it to the whisker and press the curl.

[ + 74 - ] Comment quote №25047
 20.01.2010
XXX: How is the session?
YYY: first exam passed on 4
YYY: The others are worse
YYY: In the sense of poch already

Artemic

[ + 38 - ] Comment quote №25046
 20.01.2010
In our lives, only unequal rivals are allies.

[ + 21 - ] [6 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №25045
 20.01.2010
A teacher at the institute told me a long time ago. It seems that the topic of the lecture was "Hysteria"; however, if the doctors do not agree - let them not argue, my speciality was still not medical.
So, one young person, aged 18-20, went to the May holidays
(and it was in deep Soviet times) with friends in nature: fire, songs under the guitar, a night in a tent and other romantic delights. And, apparently, the fresh air so influenced the young townwoman that at night she saw a terrible dream; and not only saw, but even in a sense "feeled" how a snake came into her mouth, through the esophagus penetrated into the stomach and decided to stay there forever. She wakes up and continues to "feel" as the snake in her stomach turns into rings, arranging more comfortably.
Of course, when she arrived in the city, she first ran to the clinic... and, of course, nobody even looked at her there. The girl is in the hospital, but they are also swallowed there. And the snake "lives" inside, from time to time making it feel easy movements through the organs. The girl had a lot of friends, but soon she stopped being called to any parties, because the story about the snake quickly got tired, and the girl used every opportunity to visit the turmoil of fate and unfair doctors. And one at home is even worse... And here is some old friend who has long left the city and, apparently, still
I didn’t hear about the snake, I invited her for her birthday. A friend was studying medicine, and, accordingly, most of her friends were medical students. Well, how not to take the opportunity - you do not meet such an audience every day! Of course, and this time most of the guests quietly had fun, listening to the story of the first-May adventures, but found one, in whose face the girl finally found an attentive listener.
He understandably sneered, asked where exactly it happened and how she feels now. I even took the phone number.
A few days later there was a call, and the very acquaintance (by the way, a graduate surgeon) offered a new acquaintance to lie with them in the hospital.
Of course, she agreed. Further, everything went as required: examination, directing for immediate surgery, anesthesia... when the patient woke up from anesthesia, the stomach was bound, and a smiling graduate student showed her the already spirited snake in the bank. Don't think bad - he really was not only a responsive, but also a very entrepreneurial person: I don't know how he managed to get along in the hospital, but under anesthesia (real!) The girl made a light cut on the skin of the abdomen, then sewed it, and the serpent in the bank the graduate student borrowed from a familiar veterinarian.
For the first time in a few months, she felt healthy and happy. As soon as she was allowed to get up, she rushed to the phone.
(I repeat, the times were Soviet, no mobile phones), which was next to the closet for visitors, and started to call all friends and acquaintances: say, you did not believe me, and now this snake is sent to the main medical museum! The old garment maker, burdened with two disabilities and great knowledge of life, listened attentively. And what else to do: visitors go a few, to talk to no one, and here such an interesting thing is told! When the girl was about to pick up another number from the phone book, he asked again:
“What, little girl, did you actually find the snake? Well, of course, we have good doctors, not the same as in other hospitals... And when, you say, it flooded into you? In the May? “Yes, it’s dangerous in the woods in May... The snakes, they’re just reproducing in May – the snakes, that’s to say, they’re peeling out at this time...” And then the lady clearly felt that not only one, but at least five snakes had grown up since May.
Of course, she was released from the hospital much later; and already from another department.

[ + 57 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №25044
 20.01.2010
“Daddy, and I was at school today with all the President Matt...
Go away from me, a completely unfamiliar boy.

[ + 67 - ] Comment quote №25043
 20.01.2010
My son is 6 years old and is doing karate. He talks to his father about Eastern combat.
Karate is a Chinese martial art.
No, it is Japanese!
Son: And why does the Sensei say to us, “The Last Chinese Warning”?

[ + 123 - ] Comment quote №25042
 20.01.2010
A useful advice:
A piece of windsurfing paper, glued to the bottom of the bag or portfolio, will allow you to conveniently pass unnoticed by the hood of the car that interfered with a pedestrian crossing or pavement.

[ + 96 - ] Comment quote №25041
 20.01.2010
Oh, you goy yeah, red girl, I want to ask for the gold of the bell. Please give me five hundred rubles before the end of Sunday.
Yyy: pleased to help, take a ringing coin and a fragile note, let it bring you great happiness. Let me remind you when you return to your home - bread on the table of fattening and peelings in the freezer, and overseas sauce that mayonnaise is said. I think I should buy shoes, right? Repair while the bag is in your pocket.
XHH: Thank you for the help. The repair will suit, and the shoes are beautiful this your wish...
Yyyy: Holi nice, not a rubber punishment...

[ + 79 - ] [2 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №25040
 20.01.2010
What type of blood type do I have?
She: You said something very common. that is. should be 1+, but then, after analysis, it turned out that you were wrong. But you don’t have 4, and you’re definitely positive. It means 2+ or 3+. Maybe three?
She: Probably three because I have two, if you had two, I would remember.
He is: however.

And she proved right. The female logic?

[ + 113 - ] Comment quote №25039
 20.01.2010
to this:
It’s already 2010, and the cars are still not flying (((
--------
Fuck him with the cars. Where are the teleports?! to

[ + 70 - ] Comment quote №25038
 20.01.2010
Trailer of the episode: Erotic. The First Time of Asmira 2

[ + 70 - ] Comment quote №25037
 20.01.2010
XXX I feel like a shit.
Yyy >xxx: Did you kill Kenny?

[ + 74 - ] Comment quote №25036
 20.01.2010
I remembered a childhood case:
I was in class 1-2, Matt knew little, or I didn't know at all, I don't remember exactly.
So one day, leaving the school with friends came to us, as I now understand beginners, hoppers with the typical question "Money is?", well, and I honestly answered "no", absolutely friendly, absolutely not suspicious of their intentions.Following naturally followed, as I later found out, the logical continuation:"I find-down ladies?"And, absolutely not understanding the meaning of the pre-last word, I replied what "company" meant.I followed the same phrase, only uttered twice faster.Thus, repeating the procedure about three times I brought the guys to hysterics and criticism "What do you do?"."Who?" naively asked.And I was

[ + 76 - ] [3 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №25035
 20.01.2010
to this:
Lovers of beer. Interesting news friends.

Written by mail:
Beer, in the classical sense, will become a rarity. The fact is that the new technical regulation will allow brewers to do without salt. The largest beer companies in Russia, which are controlled by foreign owners, approve the document.

And you do not be aside from the problem, they will be able to do it only with your silent or not entirely consent. Vote with your wallet and stop drinking. After losing your savings, you will return to what you left. What is the weakness of a great and powerful Russian to give up alcohol in defense of his rights? Do not argue, but just take it and think what it means. This means that they are more likely than to drink you, even with a brake fluid... Finally, they are killing us, and we are helping them in this.
There will be no anti-UG, because here and the bearded one time it is time to look in the mirror and understand that he has no tea in the cup for a long time.

[ + 96 - ] Comment quote №25034
 20.01.2010
XXX is
I called yesterday.
and he, as it later turned out, the headphone does not give a signal in the ear for the call, the conversation is immediately turned on
Well, I have a connection, I hear - it is sneaking somewhere, because the snow is crushing... I heard this, then I say - "Hm, purposefully!"
He was a little bit foolish ? ? ?

YYYY
I sit high, I look far... don’t sit on a penny, don’t eat a cake...

[ + 90 - ] Comment quote №25033
 20.01.2010
In the evening vodka gives a stunning feeling "phuy", and in the morning no less stunning "nahuy".

by Spring

[ + 106 - ] Comment quote №25032
 19.01.2010
Gaishnik stopped the boy on the entrance to the city the day after the New Year. Naturally, all the tubes for the check of alcohol had already been spent.But Haishnikov seemed that the guy was drunk and he took him to the stationary post. Following is the following (Haishnik - G Manzik - M):
G - here you have a chicken blow it up, and I smell.
M is OK. Blowing the Kucks
It smells, it smells like nothing smells.
You have a tough job, boss.
Did you serve it yourself?
No, I was not taken into the army.
G is what?
I have tuberculosis.
The haishnik was in shock, the man told him three times, the haishnik joked - he did not believe.

[ + 61 - ] Comment quote №25031
 19.01.2010
Tag: tell me
BBB: I am going to work. A truck stands and a man 5 diligently carves trees and folds into this truck. I come closer - Gas service o_o
Aaa: It’s going to go.)
bbb: Knowing after the elections in Ukraine will be quite tight with gas ))

[ + 69 - ] Comment quote №25030
 19.01.2010
Report on local TV. A large chain of supermarkets is conducting another action, the apotheosis of which - the game of VAZ2107.
The reporter’s phrase:
"...the network of supermarkets regularly, for several years, has been playing out this car..."

[ + 77 - ] Comment quote №25029
 19.01.2010
Clash: So funny in contact the status of a girl and a guy who don’t know each other in the news appeared:
19:02 I hate you!The monster!
19:07 The value of reciprocity...fuck!

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