I work as an encyclopedist. Today accidentally found in one office lady in the Download folder a bunch of porn and book "Crisis of identity".

<skiped> a friend turns to me and out loudly: "come in the evening, fuck with you", and smiles to give off. Did I meet that girl after that? No, because I am now on the bus.
____
I once sent such friends to the harams, in general, forever. And you know - with such girls you can raise children, and these "friends" can only disrupt your initiatives, in order to crack.

XXX: Yes, it is OK to push - the microwave oven is not turned on!
YYYYYYYYYYYYY No red lights on the car. Even if you press the gas.
Yyy: Tama is just from 2 to 8 switches. In the microwave. In cheap Chinese - 2-3 cones. Opened, found, closed with a clutch - and squeezed your head. In 2 minutes, the eyes will harden and in the brains of stupid thoughts more than 100% will never appear. Businesses are more fun. Enjoyed Phillips embedded. There, in addition to concivics and a pair of hercones, natural selenium is on the door. I was stunned by nostalgia.
XXX: O_o...
YYY: No, I am not a maniac perversionist.
YYY: I just take them to repair :) 

XXX: Let’s move our journey to the catch? In the summer, for example...
YYY: You have written me out.

The malicious program, with the help of which unknown hackers in December 2013 stole the personal data of 70 million customers of the American trading network Target, was "partly written in Russian". This was in its electronic version the Wall Street Journal with reference to the report of the US government, compiled with the help of experts in the field of computer security and sent to the largest American retailers.
According to experts, the program called Kaptoxa...

You guys are fucking fucking 😉

Advertising on the local pool website:

A cleaner is required (work schedule sliding).

And in the end, the fifth will get not the one who was fucking with guys all night, but the one who was fucking with textbooks.

Are there any former fiddles here?

There is something, if so...

has read:
Take the first book, open 57 pages, find the third line above and read it. This is waiting for you this autumn.
Join me!

I tried. There was only "We" in the hand:
God has given them nothing but eternal, painful searches.

I thought.

Serg: This is what she lacks, sitting at home with the baby. 200 thousand a month leaves in online stores and all the time unhappy... In six months they have already flown to Milan and Paris.

Divorce and not divorce.

Does the child also have half-pudding?

TEZ: 1. leave it 2. judge yourself 3. leave everything as it is. In short, decide the son and not the noy.

Serg: Do not ask the father’s council’s advice 😉

TEZ: And you’ve never asked when you went to Doyleland before. I would be on a tank like your grandfather.

Serge: Oh, with the harmony. We know told.

I bought a motorcycle. Now lies in the trunk filled, so I am ready for any dialogue on the road ;)

by Veronika:
The Atheists:
Deputy Dean of the Metallurgical Faculty told (commonly engaged in art casting):
- Well, this iconostasis with us, of course, bothered - 6 times after the spill broke. On the seventh came the daddy, boiled... No, well, this time I guessed to arm in advance, but the daddy remained with his opinion :)

If first the daddy boiled, and then the deputy dekan guessed to arm, then why did you take that the daddy was wrong?
It is...
Turn on the head? The word "preliminary" does not mean anything? Armored before pouring, splashed afterwards.
Here’s how many times I’ve noticed – believers just don’t know how to think logically, they’re so superficial.

Who do you feel more – a doctor or a teacher?
The trainer. With a cage and a cage with tigers.
- You just trust students to educate, and what is this cage with tigers?! to
Well, in educating students a cage with tigers is very even useful!

originallogin: Statistics warned that the form of the report will change in January. On my question whether it can be downloaded on the Internet, I was answered: "On the Internet - no, and on our website - it is possible."

I became a vegetarian.
I haven’t eaten meat for 6 months.)
YYY: How did you get to that?
ZZZ: How did you get to that?
A: I would ask otherwise: How did you get to that?))

by this:

Oh, guys, explain to the dilettant, people have kings, elves have kings, dwarves have kings, even orcs have a ruler, but the hobbies have the ruler of everything, or are they anarchists?
Hobbits are the head of the council.

— — —

And in fact (if anyone is interested in it), the Hobbit is governed by the mayor of Shirah and the sheriffs. Try to read the book.

===

And in the same case, the hobbies are legally subordinated to King Arnor (later - Artaudine, but in the Fourth Age Arnor was revived). The other issue is that they have the widest autonomy.

A wise man chooses lovers with the name of his wife and gives them perfumes of the same name.

officer

During my long life I have met not so many real officers, not in grade, but in essence. In the army there are more of them, in the militia there are also, but much less, but in order for a mint, and even a haishnik, to be an officer, I was lucky to encounter such only once in my life, and that, very, very long ago, when there was still no stupid word GIBDD.
As practice shows, we are not so upset that when we are stopped by a whistleblower, checks documents and does not try to fit our teeth into our wallet, but simply releases – such a person we already consider a beautiful person, but – it is not quite right, because then there will be not enough good words for those who truly deserve it.
So here is my story of meeting a real officer with the big letter.
Once I ran one from Moscow toward Lviv.
At a flat place, I was stuck and almost not exceeding the speed, stopped by a haishnik – healthy, mother of the captain, I, naturally, strained, stretched out the documents, but the captain gestured them and asked:
Where are you going?
In the direction of Kiev, and...?
“Then throw me down, there are seventy kilometers, you’re on your way.
I was glad that I did not break anything and naturally agreed.
He went in, placed his tall coat on the torpedo, covering half of the front glass, and said:
Go back, or we’re a little late. So listen to me carefully - don't look at the signs, today you can break anything, I am with you and always rejoice. Everyone went, went and went.
And we went.
I really violated everything I could, but everything I could not, of course, did not violate, life is one, that is, two (the captain did not count).
Sometimes, when the road was tight, we went to a meeting and my passenger, rushing out the window, with a magic rod pushed off the passenger cars.
At the stationary positions of GAI, we flew under the “brick” almost on flowers, bypassing concrete blocks and long queues before the sign “STOP”.
The haishniks made round eyes, but my captain showed them his enormous face and then in response they smiled and playfully threatened a finger in our footsteps.
And here, another stationary post, I am as always breaking all the rules, crawling around the meeting without a row, like suddenly behind a huge poster, my eyes open a terrible picture: a man of forty haishnikovs headed by a tall, thin colonel, in the strict expression of the face, apparently, the director of the nearest thousand kilometers of road, arrived with a check.
The Lieutenant Colonel quickly grabbed the stick from one of the subordinates and personally, according to all the rules, stopped me, approached the window, presented himself and asked for documents.
When you are stopped by a firearm, you in any case already feel a barely captured odor of sulfur, discomfort, increased radiation background and a slight pulse in the whiskers, but at the moment when my car was surrounded by forty inspectors of the earth with strict and irreconcilable faces, I felt like a cocklet in the infernal microwave. In any case, I was not too warm. And my passenger, someday, swallowed and turned into an empty police uniform lying on the passenger seat.
The Lieutenant Colonel took my documents and, without looking at them, handed them to the closest officer:
Form all “from” and “before”.
Comrade Lieutenant Colonel.
Then he looked at me and said:
- Yes, comrade driver, you surprised me, I saw different twists, but in the middle of the day, and also in the post of GAI - it is not in any gates: the sign "stop", the passage under the "brick", the non-observance of the marking, the exit to the lane of opposite traffic. All this leads to deprivation of rights, even if after a medical examination you are sober. Or did you think that once you have an employee in your car, then the rules are not for you?

I was silent and bleached in response to something unreasonable, imagining that I would be taken away right now, the car and then I would walk with two bags. Of course, my form of captain and word will not say against a whole Lieutenant Colonel and it can be understood. Where is she?
Not the fate, who knew?
Suddenly, the shape lying next to me suddenly filled with dull content and a stealing voice, spoke to me in the back of the neck:
- Well, why did you, comrade driver, listen to the music so much that you did not notice the signs, road signs and were at the meeting? Not in order, you know.
From these words I just exploded (apparently overheated in the microwave). I hadn’t expected such a shame from the captain. You can’t help, so sit quietly.
And I almost stumbled at the director of a thousand kilometers of road:
- Comrade Lieutenant Colonel, honestly, this is yours, with permission to say, the captain, when he sat down to me and asked him to take it, said: "Today you can break anything, I am with you, I will always take off, if anything..."

The captain whispered from my back:
- Why did you, companion driver, get too hot in the sun? How could I tell you this if I am an inspector of GAI? In addition to deprivation of rights, I will also condemn you for defamation.
All forty people were also very dissatisfied with my performance, they at once stunned, adding power to my microwave.
The Lieutenant Colonel astonished his eyebrows, looked at me, then at the angry captain, thought and said:
"Comrade Captain, although you and my old combat companion and colleague, but you know, for some reason I believe the words of this driver, whom I see for the first time in my life.
Comrade driver, since my subordinate allowed you to deviate from all the rules and promised in case of anything from everything to "sweep off", so on the other hand, he is still an officer of the police and gave the word.
Here are your documents, you can go, only from this place, please, according to the rules.
The happy path.
And you, Comrade Captain, stay here. Get out of the car and, as promised, start to “smash” this driver, and we will all be happy to listen.

The best car was awarded by the BMW Director of the factory.

A: Yesterday I went to my friend for the first time in my life and we did not drink there! They drank tea and ate butter.
A: It was fun anyway.)
L: The liver was happy))
A: My liver was delighted when I loaded it with a butter with red fatty fish))
A: I think she will leave me soon with the words "Goodbye, our meeting was a mistake"
L: Well I don’t think you’re so merciless to her)))
A: That is yes. I never compare with many of my acquaintances.
A: But I think they have Rambo type liver.
A: throw, such in scars, pumped, with ammunition
A: And with such a tough iron voice "well that whiskey hasn’t been seen for a long time, it’s time to find out who of us is cool"
L: Oh, and then they still get it... And here she lies, all in the fog, the illusion is passed by the ice cream she tried at 4 years old, then a piece of cake flies... And here is the first bowl of beer in 9th grade....
A: and such a great blockbuster is played in the body of the Russian man every weekend.