bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 43 - ] Comment quote №76825
 02.02.2013
The little girl asks her mother:
What is Feudal?
Well, this is a noble great of the Middle Ages...
What is the great, the noble and the medieval?

[ + 37 - ] Comment quote №76824
 02.02.2013
hanging a command in which I have to set up the servaques in the building. A building that has not yet been built. And for not fulfilling this order, I receive a monthly penalty and excuse from the director=(

Get rid of such work!
Shut up brother.

[ + 32 - ] Comment quote №76823
 02.02.2013
Against their own will, they witnessed the heartbreaking encounter of two lost hearts. Picture with oil: a lady in a shirt of the color of fuchsia, the size of a fur and a crestomatic dirt, let's say, dota.
Are you the 91st?
Yes ^_^
Well, go...

[ + 38 - ] Comment quote №76822
 02.02.2013
From Facebook
The world showed me a fairy tale. To the long and hopelessly parked cars came the crew of the DPS, two platforms-evacuator, a tractor and a Tajik with blades. We loaded machines onto the platforms. They left. We cleared all the stalagmites and other snow from the freed place. And put back the machines!! to

[ + 41 - ] Comment quote №76821
 02.02.2013
The husband is going home in a terrible cloth.Bought specifically for the house - not wearing.I take this into my hands and think I will burn the naphyg,as long as his home is not. But then the thought - and suddenly he will turn into a frog, because I hadn't seen him without this domestic underdog.

[ + 38 - ] Comment quote №76820
 02.02.2013
I always felt sorry for the guy from the video Bon Jovi- it's my life. The guy ran so far, risked his life and still resorted to the end of the song.

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №76819
 02.02.2013
Recently friends came to visit, accordingly, without alcohol, the matter did not go. They sat down, drank, gathered and went on to the bar. I continued so that I don’t remember the end of the evening at all. I woke up in the morning, my head cracked, a little dumb. Well, I think it is necessary to entertain the people, to raise the mood with a very funny song from the megaphone advertisement (there is something about shish kebab singing in ancient tabor). Well, I’m going to mean to the note with the words – and now it’s going to sound a very fun song! As a result, I do not have time to get to the destination, as I hear the loud and clearly said choir in three heads :- I went to X. Y is!! I stand and wonder what the case is. It turns out, in the evening after coming home (which I naturally do not remember) I, with the words "and now it will sound a fun song!" turned it on to all the hearing...and listened to it 15 times in a row, not allowing anyone to switch it until he himself cut off...

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №76818
 02.02.2013
Which cells do not divide?
Merron: The Jewish

[ + 24 - ] [3 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №76817
 02.02.2013
Xxx: Please wait until Windows sets Yandex.Bar for Internet Explorer..."
Xxx: Fuck, I really get angry with every word in this post!

[ + 19 - ] Comment quote №76816
 02.02.2013
The best way to convince a woman not to test your patience is to make her experience an orgasm.

[ + 40 - ] Comment quote №76815
 02.02.2013
The veteran who was in the day when they were written, suddenly appeals to those who gathered:
I fought for three years. Before the attack, everyone was gathered in the first tranche. The faces of the people were devastated, in their eyes - condemnation, in their movements was fear. What otherwise? After all, now running on bullets, fragments, on mines... I am old and I have almost forgotten what these faces look like in reality. But now, when I saw the married men, I immediately remembered them...

[ + 63 - ] Comment quote №76814
 02.02.2013
I bought my wife a diamond ring. He hasn’t spoken to me for two weeks.
Why is?
That was a condition...

[ + 42 - ] Comment quote №76813
 02.02.2013
Windows and Linux are like a spoonful and Chinese sticks.
A spoon can eat everything, so most dishes are spoon-oriented.
but. If you learn to eat the sticks, then you are good, if you learn to eat the sticks of borscht - you are cool, and if in addition you still learn to pull the sticks of a special configuration, specifically under yourself, for the most effective execution with a certain set of dishes, then you are just excessively cool in your steep twist.

[ + 31 - ] Comment quote №76812
 02.02.2013
yyy works in Cyprus, sick:
XXX You will die.
You are in the RF.

[ + 18 - ] Comment quote №76811
 02.02.2013
When I fall asleep at a lecture, I fear only one thing: to crack in my dream.

[ + 41 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №76810
 02.02.2013
The question of the managers. There was a time when the wife at work was looking for a chief executive (in department 2 employee - she is a designer and director of the department). To the reasonable question "why not make me director and take another designer?" followed a quite logical answer, which I remembered forever "If we make you director - then who will work it?". So, comrades workaholics, if you want a leading position - not to stress =) otherwise a well-working employee is unlikely to make a boss, or he will still work will cease = / therefore, the bosses are all (practically) duttles who can not work well and can not work well.

[ + 36 - ] Comment quote №76809
 02.02.2013
I was sick. I send my husband to the store and the pharmacy. I dictate him a list, commenting in detail on each item (that would not confuse anything).
2 bats of bread. In the store, they are always fresh.
Yes, the bread...
I am cabbage. This is only the name.
M- (recording) The Crabs...
I - in the pharmacy spray - I have a sting in my throat.
Spray from measles in the throat.

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №76808
 02.02.2013
Hobober: Sometimes I get caught up with the idea that it would be okay to have the body of Brad Pitt. – Javier Bardem
He can be understood in two ways.

[ + 41 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №76807
 02.02.2013
XXX: And this mouse is strange. When she wants to eat, she doesn’t scream – she begins to furiously lust) To touch me with my mouth in my feet, to lie under my hands, in my face... And to murmur, to murmur, to murmur.

Wow, she’s in the vibration mode...


[ + 36 - ] Comment quote №76806
 02.02.2013
The Zenit-3SL missile crashed into the Pacific Ocean
nn:Russian submarine grouping of satellites on the bottom of the Pacific Ocean))

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