It is said that among officials in the regions, the book "101 way to fulfill the Presidential decrees on raising wages to budgetaries without raising it" is in the hands.

I decided to write a couple of funny cases related to the height and appearance of the spouse. Husband - 152 and I - 182

1st We have three children and we decided to go to a public bathroom. Me, wife and eldest daughter. I am approaching, buying two adults and one child. I went to male, they went to female. And then the administrator gives me - and the girls how will they wash, can they? I would not go to the sauna, or I would call.

2nd We go to the clothes store in the same composition. I chose my wife’s jacket. But here is the problem - mostly clothes can be selected in children's shops. Go to the children’s store. The husband is so stressed, and here is the seller:

What to suggest?

I said I wanted a jacket.

The older or the younger?



So we live 😉

The night. and Taxi.

Order of “R/K Randev”. Sitting 3 fun, young, on a marathon girl. One, on the go, asks for the phone to charge. Connect, phone in the pocket on the panel. The girls are drunk, cheerful, sing songs, argue who is the last to pay.

And here, the last address, not reaching the destination, I receive a question:

Are you an honest person?

I try to be so.

D- (opening the door, running away with a fun call) I’m not honest! Let the chickens pay for themselves.

You call me tomorrow! (He screamed in the trail)

I don't call, I don't know the number (running, rushing, answering me).



I sit, look at her in the footsteps, close the order in the empty, clean the phone in my pocket.

A couple of years ago, I had a quarrel with my mother. He left, lived separately, worked quietly, on the other day his mother called him and asked to come "to the cake", wanted to reconcile. Well he came, and there mints, bound him and carried him to the military commissariat.

Chronic abuse of rest leads to allergies at work.

A friend just told me. They in the dining room at work decided to take care of those who observe the fast: in the menu appeared the positions "borsch meat" and "borsch lean". At the delivery, a friend asked for a plate of borst. The cook gently puts vegetables in the plate with the bouillon, and asks:
Do you have meat?
and yes.
From this same pot, the cook catches pieces of meat and adds it to the plate.

The prime minister said that people should not suffer from rising gas prices. The State Duma has already begun to develop a law on responsibility for suffering from rising gas prices.

What is not fake, is news.

Do you know what diameter/radius is? The marital life.
I work on a metal cutting machine. At one time, he decided to change the type of activity and was trained from scratch to CNC operator. Later, he taught the basics of other boys. One day, during an explanation to one of the trainees, I noticed that he was not very aware that I was trying to tell him:
Do you understand? Do you know that we measure the diameter and write the radius in the table? Do you know what radiation is?
No, I do not know.
In the sense do you know? What is a diameter?
and no.
And unexpectedly? Do not believe? But the trainee was not even yesterday’s student, but a graduate of Bashkir Construction College in the specialty of industrial and civil construction!!! Later I remembered that during my training at the factory, the mentors asked me this question, and then it seemed stupid to me: "How can an adult not know what a radius is? This is the basis of everything!”
“Well, probably the guy just doesn’t know the definitions ‘by the textbook’,” I thought and painted a circle on paper:
Draw where the radius is, where the diameter.
The trainee paints two more inside my circle.
Impressed by the truth that revealed me all day long, I lie in bed at night. I think: at what point a person learns what the radius / diameter is (this is meant by "not a textbook, but by his own words"; in a domestic sense when a person begins to understand that this is the circle, but here is its radius). And what kind of “thinking” to have to understand this? Technical and mathematical? It is easy to find out:
My wife, wake up. Do you know what radiation is? The diameter? My wife is not a technician, but a philologist-journalist.
Have you fooled anything? What a radius, what a diameter, what an hour of night! What happened?
Long to explain. Can you tell me what radiation is?
The size of the circle. What happened then? What do you do in bed at night?
That is, it is not sacred knowledge that is kept from outsiders. And "not a technician", quietly graduated from school and with geometry, except in the domestic plan, who does not encounter, can at one hour of the night through a dream give the answer, where to dig, in order to find the definition of "radius".
On the evening of the next day I decided to find out, and from what age a person will learn that there is such a term "radius" and asked the daughter-second-grade ("well, in the second grade is still unlikely to pass, - I thought - it will be clear whether it is necessary to study in school or just enough in life to look closely at the sides to find out):
Do you know what radiation is? Or a diameter?
- It's in the circle, here's the point, the central, and there's the distance to the line... - he responds a little confused.
The child in the second grade already knows. But... Something hurts like the definition from a textbook... Did you already go to school?
How do you know? Have you already been to school?
“No,” she smiles, “my mom told me in the morning that you must ask me today and have to learn.

And you also noticed that in all the fairy tales after the wedding write:
“This is the end of the story?”

One girl had a great cage. The high edges, the bowl itself was wide, winding; not so cast, not so much. A great cage.

Many students bought a thin bowl on which everything burned and broke. Especially often burned pins, well, and food in these pots.

This is really a good bowl. The story is from 96-98 years. Not the best years.

Somebody stole a bowl from the kitchen. Waste and its contents. The girl was more upset by the bowl than by its content.

She wrote: "Such a number someone mistakenly took such a bowl from the kitchen. No complaints and insults. Bring the bowl to the garbage pipe.”

Over the course of a week, a whole warehouse of different saucers has accumulated at the rubbish pipeline, but the same never appeared.

They have little to steal, so they want to be praised for it.

There was a neighbor who was collecting money for public needs. While I was running around the house looking for money, the neighbor said. She considers any silence uncomfortable and tries to stifle every minute of silence in the embryo. So we learned all the secrets and news from the lives of the neighbors. When I gave her the money, she said:
Oh, how easy with you: you always give right away. I first bypass those who immediately give and do not distinguish.
I hear a man from the neighboring room:
I agree with your approach, I married on the same principle.

The main problem with intelligent people is that they think that others think too.

I called a taxi. Put the price higher than in the program, so as not to wait. There are no cars. Within a minute, there is no car. In a few minutes I will raise no. No again no. Five minutes passed and, miraculously, we received the order.

The car comes and I sit. The taxi driver said I immediately saw your order. I wanted to go and you were promoted. I decided to see how far you are prepared to go.

xxx: I hope I won't get caught up for the word of the breast, or somebody will suddenly get excited about it.

YYY: I am excited, but I have no complaints. Please note it in the minutes.

I had a case with a Gypsies in my youth years. She worked as a salesman in the building department. A pair of crows flew, one of them jumped to me like, "but let me give you what gold I will take you all the trouble, only put it in the note." I have no money (90s and single mother). He said, “Take it in the box.” Do I have a “cash?” The box!” as a barrier to the whole store: "children, put at the box office who is healthier with a baseball beat, the Gypsies are stuck to us" - like the wind of the crows swallowed :)

On the one hand, it is inappropriate to come to a guest without a bottle. And on the other hand, if you have a bottle, why go to visit?

Peter for the first time. Hermitage, Petropavlovka is all the parade part, external. I am more interested in the city from the inside: its courts, its people. I turn into one such courtyard - a man of marginal outwardness is seized in the basement. I am him:
Couldn’t you find another place?
And he answers me:
Are we “you” with you?

Oh yeah kids! (The Old Jewish Parable)
There was a poor Jewish family. There were many children, but little money. The poor mother worked to wear - cooked, washed, sprinkled, distributed necklaces and cried out loudly for life. Finally, finally out of power, she went for advice to the rabbi: "How to become a good mother?". I left him in thought. My mom has since been replaced. No money in the family. The children were not obedient. But now my mother did not mock them, and a kind smile did not come from her face. Once a week she went to the market, and when she returned, she locked herself in the room for the whole evening. The children were tormented by curiosity. One day they broke the ban and looked at their mother. She was sitting at the table and...drinking tea with a sweet bread!
Mom, what are you doing? And how about us? The children shouted angrily.
Oh yeah kids! The important answer. I make you a happy mother!