In the early 20th century, according to police, a Negro committed suicide five times by shooting himself in the back.
Russia in the early 21st century - according to the police, a Russian committed suicide five times by hitting himself with a knife in the heart.

The case of Cochrane...

Google is falling into trouble.
When he emphasized the word "profнастил" to me, I was not surprised, yet the slang.
But then he stressed "for", proposing to correct the shit.
Is this a special option for the Russians?
"Do you remember how to struggle matto correctly? We will help you! Google Orphography – always one step ahead!"

I sit behind the compass. next to me in the direction of the kitchen steals the favorite, quietly singing under my nose "meat, meat, meat, my favorite meat". Interested to see what happens next. I go out into the kitchen and observe the following picture: in one hand of the catlet, wrapped in a piece of doctor's sausage, and in the other piece of raw sausage, the size of which the catlet would be jealous. And all this is absorbed by my favorite in order of order: cottage, sausage, sausage, sausage... here her gaze rises to me and with the phrase “fired!” I need to get rid of her from the scene of the crime" she bites me by the side and plunges into the room. And I’m standing up and thinking, what if the sausage would bring it back?! to

You are a free person, you can do whatever you want, but anything can happen to you. NNN

In the morning, the office, I drink coffee, I try to cut off my working mood from the remains of sleep.
A message from a colleague:
You see me?
I turn around, look at him and, swirling in confusion, extend:
Oh yeah, yeah... ( and! )
It is Balda! Do you see me offline?! to

This is a complex of inferiority, fucking!
Filmed at work for collage employees. You go to a man, you have to go to sleep. One question: "Smile or will it go?"Show the photo - how? "Yes okay, ch, it will go..."
The girls are horrible. First: "Ah, I am untouched, unpainted, not sleeping out!"Then a bunch of photos, none like it. "Remove it all immediately!" Then cuddling. Then discussion with friends. Then again "remove"...
Dumbed all with them. I say "What about you?and "
Oh, if I tell you how you look, we will not tell you! We want to look great!
And then I cracked the nonsense: "If a girl looks great in life, she will look great in the photos. And if she is scary, then no photographer will help her."
I mean, I mean, the first part. They are beautiful and you don’t have to shrink. Damn a compliment.
For some reason, they only perceived the second part. and Exceptionally.
After six months with me only business tone and only on the job talked... =)

and survived! A month on the internet costs less than an hour for a prostitute.

Comment from YouTube:

"Ladies and gentlemen, help me with my advice.

I really want to become a deputy and impunely steal/kill and carry goats, well, and think about the well-being of Russians, of course.

But when I think of little boys’ asses, I don’t get up!! to

Is it not my destiny to be a member now?"

xxx: reinstalled in the office system, assembly based on XP. scratched the whole department.
YYY : Why?
xxx: the boss came, saw on the desk the default in the assembly picture with the cows of God
xxx: and stated: "Juck of the Lord".

In a lonely old age and undercover, Zhukova is a favorite granddaughter. Nick Blue

One of my acquaintances worked in the Russian government in the early 1990s. And here happened to them a park - on their nose the coronation of Yeltsin, that is, the inauguration. I should swear by him, not by what. The Bible doesn’t fit – Muslims won’t understand. He will swear by the Constitution of Russia.
Have you seen this Constitution? She is thin. In all countries, leaders swear on thick-walled Talmuds, and Yeltsin as a pioneer, on the notebook. They decided to put the constitution with comments to make the embassy look.
But not found. The deadlines are already pushing up. Someone has stumbled here. Yeltsin is not allowed to read a book! We need to find a tomic ambassador, thick and tight. He holds a pen on him, and that’s all. Started to search. Obviously, no one had books with him, only the operator took the book to the child. Yeltsin took an oath on her.
Now, over time, we begin to ask ourselves: did Russia have no other way? Why does the hard, oligarchic, ridiculous capitalism we have built seem to have embraced all the vices that have long been cured by Western countries? The liner opens easily. The spiritual leader of the nation, a man to whom the majority of Russians trusted at the time, during his entry into office, when heaven listened most to his words, vowed to honor and observe Nosov’s book “The Unknown on the Moon”. It became so.

The men! If you have a bad mood in the morning, it means that you woke up with the wrong... well... not the one you woke up with...

I work in the visa department of a tourist company.
I fill out the questionnaire for India, a man, the previous profession of a gas welder, and the profession is now a HEALTHER, mla, what did the burner squeeze him?))))))))))

*from the discussion of the "accidental" 3000 player battle in EVE*

X: I’m more interested in how it all was able to handle their cluster, did not bend, did the players feel normal?
y: There is an interesting technology used - when the cluster brakes, the game time is artificially stretched. Thus e. If before one second in the game mechanics was = 1 second in life, then there begins the stretching of time. Thus e. One game second can stretch up to 10 real and everything happens very much. Thus, the cluster has time to answer all requests, even if they are very many, at the expense of slowing down time.
z: You won’t believe, but my first PC mastered this technology on its own, somewhere in the 1990s.

My dad works as a programming teacher.
XXX: He was returning from a trip to Nagan. I was on the train and missed it.
xxx: found a newspaper with a bunch of sudoku, in two hours wrote a program to resolve.
xxx: decided all sudoku, I was on the train, missed it.

Comments from Habr:

Thank you to the Donbass people.
Tagged in: Karabakh-Barabakh
Zzz: I saw we in the Donbass T-shirts with the inscription “Please.”

very accurate! You have the right to take children from kindergarten and laundry from the laundry room, cook dinner, feed everyone, repair the juicer. Ask the faithful woman: does she need a new shirt (shoes, sweaters, bikes). Live to 60. And to die.

It’s an ordinary system administrator’s day. The accountant enters with the rubbish of receipts and ticks the pen into one of the names (MFU Brother):
BB: What is a browser, what is it for the Internet?
Q: Do you know what the MFC is?
BB: No
CA: This is a printer, copy and scanner in one device
BB: Oh you, now I’ll know.
BB: I’ll go a few more times and I’ll be very smart! + and)))

Nietzscheaner: Trolling friends on the Internet is like coming in for a visit and chanting at the corner of a carpet during a friendly conversation.

XXX: Did you see it? Melhar: When creating new characters in MMO, we often encounter the fact that the desired name is already occupied, and another is usually hard to come up with... I found the solution! The Ikea catalogue. The Godmoron! and ectorp! and Isaiah! and Molger! The Torah! The Aspen! The Warehouse!
NN: Oh, the MMO worlds have just been filled with new beds, taburets and tea shops.