bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 63 - ] Comment quote №42692
 04.02.2011
It was a long time ago, but it is true. In the early nineties, the subway in the morning battles, so you can only breathe in when the neighbor is exhaling (here, the main thing is not to fail), you take exclusively compulsive poses, and you place your legs in two rows above strangers. At the next station, people are trying to squeeze into an already full car, which, as seen at first glance, is possible only by running or using heavy building equipment such as bulldozers. The mechanic once in a fifth attempts to close the doors, from which the different parts of the passengers' bodies, preventing, clearly, the closure of these very doors. Desperate to continue on schedule, the driver rattles the microphone: “Don’t hold the door, it’s an ordinary train, it’s not going to a bright future!” The people roared and partly fell out of the train from laughter, the doors closed, everyone left, but the trip became more fun, the people, so to speak, pushed already more joyfully.

[ + 106 - ] Comment quote №42691
 04.02.2011
Yyy: I made two certificates for both guns and driving, I go to the psychiatrist, I say that the certificates should be two, she asks, why two? I did not endure, I admitted that I wanted to ride a tank and shoot people. reports have been given.

[ + 101 - ] Comment quote №42690
 04.02.2011
My wife brought her little toy from her parents. A dog who had been the subject of the abuse of her little nephew and cat for more than a year before (judging by the smell). Once upon a time, this toy, when pressed on it, said, “I love you!”"But it has been broken for a long time. This dog was washed, cleaned and dried for 2 days on a battery. And on the second day, at 6 o’clock in the morning, this dog (apparently from the last of these and in a spark of gratitude) pronounces, “I love you!” and silences forever. It was very cute.

[ + 72 - ] Comment quote №42689
 04.02.2011
(xxx) 23:10: How do I serve you?
(YYY) 23:11 Yes
(xxx) 23:12 :How is a girl?
(YYY) 23:12 :Yes
(xxx) (23:14) :And now think in what format I arrange you more
(yyy)(23:15) :in 3D format

[ + 67 - ] Comment quote №42688
 04.02.2011
DKVV_2: Yesterday came KamAZ "sovok"... it was loaded on the edge of the boards with coal... I call back - 8(!) Tons she brought me.... a mountain of coal overcovered the whole yard. Here, on the second day, I melt with a spade, I solve the task of throwing 8 in a coal designed for 6 tons! 0 - O
PONTELEMON_1: What level have you reached in Tetris?

[ + 78 - ] Comment quote №42687
 04.02.2011
I went to the dentist today to treat my teeth. I went to the doctor that I bothered at school.
I didn’t even have time to apologize ;(

[ + 65 - ] Comment quote №42686
 04.02.2011
The back of the closet
SM: So what about him?
Posts Tagged: portal
Open the closet, take a step.
You are in the closet.
Sm [SteeL]: suddenly

[ + 60 - ] Comment quote №42685
 04.02.2011
Nazarpunk: ppc, before she said put me a screw, or my parents left, then do a massage, or study kills, lose let me trachaza my husband sibalso))

[ + 86 - ] Comment quote №42684
 04.02.2011
An acquaintance who develops facial recognition systems says:
It looks like a normal system works, but on Mondays it works fucking.

[ + 54 - ] Comment quote №42683
 04.02.2011
Title of the City News website:
A resident of Tikhvin entered a shopping center and obtained a 10th sentence.

[ + 77 - ] Comment quote №42682
 04.02.2011
I am now from the generation when law enforcement guards were called menths.

[ + 63 - ] [3 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №42681
 04.02.2011
Pilot: Fuck the fuck! I broke my brains trying to imagine how a vampire girl behaves when she has critical days. > 0 0

[ + 77 - ] Comment quote №42680
 04.02.2011
My wife has a shirt. I stole my seat in the car. It wasn’t surprising to hear the question from the girl who was driving: "What animal did you drive here"...

[ + 93 - ] Comment quote №42679
 04.02.2011
C is slow
In London, Russian students raped an 18-year-old Malaysian schoolmate. Their names have been established: Norir Davtyan - 23 years old and Armén Simonian - 19 years old
>.<

[ + 57 - ] Comment quote №42678
 04.02.2011
My neighbors have a terrible life.)
At 7 a.m. in their apartment it is perfectly heard as the youngest of the neighbors on top plays the piano.
At 10 a.m. I hear her older sister warm up before work (choreographer)))
In the afternoon, she returns from work and begins to work out combinations of Russian dance on the drops, to rehearse pieces from the Irish steppe, to listen to Mills and traditional Japanese music. If the mood is bad, then Fall Out Boy.
At two the younger comes back from school and starts racing with cats and falling taburets))
And all the other things 😉
About 10 p.m. the elderly also plays the piano, but her works are louder, more complicated and longer.
Well, sometimes you can hear something vocal in the kitchen area and three nights)))
I honestly don’t understand why they don’t just say hello to me and even smile at the same time)))
P.S I bought a blockflash today.

[ + 83 - ] Comment quote №42677
 03.02.2011
I was in the bus and thought to whom of the girls to give up the seat - the most beautiful to smile in response, or the thickest to stop kicking my leg.

[ + 70 - ] [3 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №42676
 03.02.2011
By the way, contrary to the common myth, the majority of the population can easily push into the mouth, and then take back the usual incandescent bulb.

[ + 86 - ] Comment quote №42675
 03.02.2011
I sit at home and wipe my electric guitar with vodka. Well, she and skin fat with dirt wipes out well, and the lacquer does not spoil. I ate sweets that I pulled out of the kitchen. I put the guitar on the stand. I just turn to the compass, my mom comes in.
A five second scene. I sit at the table, on the table a bottle of vodka, candy. The Mother’s phrase:
Are you sad, son?

[ + 76 - ] Comment quote №42674
 03.02.2011
I have one at work here and this one: I went to Egypt on tanks katatsa)))

[ + 81 - ] Comment quote №42673
 03.02.2011
Lintar: I have a loyal friend laptop.
Anti: and true films? I will not specify which
Lintar: Well, what – first they are cognitive, then they go into entertainment, and recently I have moved most of them to the “Fantasy” folder.

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