bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 107 - ] Comment quote №42452
 30.01.2011
When I wake up, there is no temperature. It usually rises closer to the evening. Solved the problem - took and woke up in the evening, there is no temperature.
Fuck, I am the cleverest.

[ + 76 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №42451
 30.01.2011
From the French website:

This kind of thing happened to me at the school, at the school.
I go with a friend to buy a tie. There are such sets on the shelves - a shirt with a tie, fun. We choose.
Here comes the grandfather of 70 years and asks, "Girls, how much is this set in dollars?
Well, we, the latter, we assume (the course then, 95 years):
Twelve pounds, grandfather
He worshiped:
In my time, 2-3 bucks were worth it!
We are, of course, under the plintus of Ophigenia!! Then I asked my grandfather, “When?” How is?
He answers so seriously:
“I was driving convoys from San Francisco to Vladivostok during the war. One night, a Japanese submarine torpedoed us. Well, the dog is full, the dry cargo to the bottom, save who can! I was caught with mercoses, and I immediately got a glass of whisky. The gram 200. I and Bowie! Mercury as an officer! "Strong man!" they say.

My grandfather interrupted, and I repented: - What is the tie here?! to

And he said, “Fig knows it! Just with San Francisco in the 43th they stood 3 backs.


[ + 71 - ] Comment quote №42450
 30.01.2011
Risk is noble. And even necessary. As one of my acquaintances said, playing cards - who does not risk, they do not ride in the trunk!

[ + 64 - ] [2 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №42449
 30.01.2011
I read the marriage signs, encountered the following: If your firstborn suddenly gets seriously ill, you need to put on the wedding suit and as if to sit in it on the child, saying at the same time: "Which place she gave birth, such and healed. It is true.” The poor children, o

[ + 71 - ] Comment quote №42448
 30.01.2011
M brought the salary with five thousand papers.

Q: Can I see it? (They are expecting ) Let us have some ritual with them to increase wealth!
M: Ritual... photocopying?

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №42447
 30.01.2011
The soul is not the face, you can’t make plastic!

[ + 40 - ] Comment quote №42446
 30.01.2011
The castles were big.
The 1961 year. The summer. The holidays. A military ship from India arrives in Odessa port with a friendly visit. Indian marines are sent to the shore for dismissal.
At this time, in Odessa itself, somewhere near the port, a little boy cries his mother small coins to exchange for foreign coins. He collects a collection of old and foreign coins and just can not miss such an opportunity to exchange for a collection of new coins. His mother would give him five, ten, fifteen copies. At the end, probably, perceiving the seriousness of the moment, he gives his son another fifty copies. And here, he quickly runs out of the gate, turning toward the historic center of the city, where, he knows, meetings and fairy coins are waiting for him. The hand involuntarily turns the ringing coins in his pocket.
He was very lucky today. After leaving two quarters from his home, he encountered a troubled foreign mariner. The Hindu was tall, in all white, welcomingly smiling.
Change, said the boy, stretching his blood on his palm for exchange. The Hindus leaned, looking at the contents of the child’s palm. I took a handful of coins out of my pocket and sat down. They were unusual and therefore attractive. Some coins resembled chamomile, others square with a hole in the middle.
The boy immediately began to offer options. The smallest, his five kopecks, he offered for a copper Indian. 10 for a square with a hole.
Twenty for a chamomile with a three-headed tiger. A half remains. And here, he saw among the glare of the petty to the pain familiar Soviet metal ruble. The decision had not yet matured in his head, but his hands had already offered the sailor to exchange our penny for the ruble. The Hindu went out. What happened seemed to have made him very happy. He kicked the boy on his shoulder and offered to walk with him into the city center.
His feet pulled the boy to Tyrus. At the time, Tyr was a rare entertainment for children and is therefore extremely desirable. It was located in the basement of the well-known street in Odessa. He was shot with small-caliber guns and rifles. There was also a bullet "Maxim", possibly for beauty. The bullet cost a rage of money – 10 kopecks, that is, a kopecks more than a milk ice cream. The sailor gave the boy a ruble. He boldly walked to the seller and put the money on the bench with the words: “Uncle, ten bullets, please.” After counting the bullets, he asked, "Where have you learned to speak Russian so well?" "I am Russian," the boy was frightened, taking the bullets from the stand.
I was six years old. In the summer, under the sun on the beach, I became like
and Maugli. I don’t remember how we broke up with a sailor from far away India. But his warm attitude toward me, his kind laughter of childish tricks, along with his coins, have remained with me to this day.

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №42445
 30.01.2011
The end of the shelf life of the yogurt means that the bifidobacteria have moved to the side of evil.

[ + 71 - ] Comment quote №42444
 30.01.2011
Achiney: Hello to you! Don’t you want to go to the skate today?
SOMA: Surfaces with a low friction coefficient are not my canyon.

[ + 77 - ] Comment quote №42443
 30.01.2011
Talk to another programmer (P) about New Year’s Gifts:
I: So what did they give you?
P: Hard at 1.5 terabytes and some perfume.
I am Crusoe. How are your perfumes?
Q: Nowau, the alcohol in them is too little, they don’t burn (I checked).
I used the past to break contacts. This will not be used as intended.)
I: Try splashing on the clothes.
Q: Will it not ruin? Unreasonable risk
I: How do you smell it?
Q: What do I smell of?

[ + 84 - ] [3 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №42442
 30.01.2011
HIMIK: People, can you tell me what is undercover? I stopped drinking, smoking, playing Warcraft, started to lose weight and eat less, and the money still lacks.

[ + 97 - ] [2 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №42441
 30.01.2011
Where in the bathroom of the mathematical faculty leaflets in the line?? to

[ + 60 - ] Comment quote №42440
 30.01.2011
XXX: Do not mislead me!

[ + 50 - ] Comment quote №42439
 30.01.2011
This ugly Khodorkovsky continues to commit new and new daring crimes in the past!
c) the scorpion

[ + 65 - ] [7 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №42438
 30.01.2011
Pop singer Lady Gaga is going to release perfumes. However, unlike other stars of the show business does not plan to create a floral or wooden fragrance, the perfumes from Lady Gaga will smell blood and sperm and will be called "Monster".

I don’t even know what to add.)

[ + 72 - ] Comment quote №42437
 30.01.2011
smoke: yesterday came to a friend, lying kissed, well, all as usual, and on the wall she hangs a picture of bathi in shape, and how don't look, his eyes are looking at you, I just got a nipple

[ + 80 - ] Comment quote №42436
 30.01.2011
Grandfather fights with a dog (German Shepherd). I hear the message: "I blasted, the overseas fell!!and "

[ + 75 - ] Comment quote №42435
 30.01.2011
Rio is
Why do you have such a long interval?

Rio is
After my question I feel like a red hat.

[ + 99 - ] Comment quote №42434
 30.01.2011
If you do not understand the interlocutor, the interlocutor is a fool.
If the interlocutor does not understand you, the interlocutor is a fool.

[ + 74 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №42433
 30.01.2011
Now in the news was told how in the houses from the cranes flowing water of green color. Municipalists added a dye to the water to determine the failure of the pipes.
Guess where? is correct. The Chelyabinsk!

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