bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №75825
 14.01.2013
xxx : Here I bought an ordinary cutting butt... a week and a pink mold was formed on it!!! I see this for the first time in my life. What do you bet on Flip?
It is an emo-buton.

[ + 34 - ] Comment quote №75824
 14.01.2013
Storytellers are fucking!
"It was before the New Year. A police call from a nursery, said, come, a bomb near the entrance in a black package. Reacted immediately. We open, and there is children’s clothes. Not new, of course, but clean and smooth. The director of the kindergarten looks contemptuously and says, “Take this barrel away.” We are surprised:
New Year is coming, gifts for kids!
-We have each child's bank account and we go abroad to the sea once every six months, that we have this widebody, let the poor carry.
It turned out that there every businessman took the child under the wing, so that the company paid less taxes. 20 thousand each month on the account lists, gifts, clothes, food. You don’t think about children".
In our country, charity does not reduce the taxes on the income of legal entities. There are no such benefits. Absolutely.

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №75823
 14.01.2013
From a conversation with a friend (d) who is in Siberia.
D: To be honest, I only realized here how long I hadn’t heard a real snow whistle. High tonality, not as in the counter)

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №75822
 14.01.2013
You know, I suddenly realized that people are not to blame for their sins. 40% is education, 30% is genetics, the rest is life experience.

Sometimes it is necessary to fuck, so that the will is not given to these vices.

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №75821
 14.01.2013
Life doesn’t read our plans.

[ + 38 - ] Comment quote №75820
 14.01.2013
And there was a case of this nature: New Earth 1978. Commander of the regiment, Colonel Nezhiva, commander of the aviation squadron, Lieutenant Colonel of the Funeral, Head of the aviation squadron, praporcher of the skull. In the city of Arkhangelsk was sent praporski skull. It is no secret that getting from the New Earth to the big city, you want to taste the delights of life. What a brave man did. Having fallen into the field of sight of the patrol, he was taken to the military command, where the duty officer began to find out the identity of the patrol officer. Imagine the face of the attendant who received the answer to the question: "The title, position, part and purpose of arrival in Arkhangelsk?"This is the answer: "Flag of the skull, the units of the Funeral, the Regiment of the Dead from the New Earth." Not finding a better solution, the officer asked if the officer could get to the hotel and let him go.

[ + 57 - ] Comment quote №75819
 14.01.2013
A tourist agency? I would like to order a tour!
Hi, I listen to you. Where are you?
No, I don’t want to go to the dogs!
No, you do not understand: where do you go?
Oh... well, it has to be so! Give up to the dogs!

[ + 40 - ] Comment quote №75818
 14.01.2013
Kernhohol: My friend Anton, have you read Sirano de Bergerac?
No, but I’m already googling.

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №75817
 14.01.2013
Correspondence with (d) rouge:
You go to the universe tomorrow.)
I: What, are you angry?
D: No, I am an organizer!

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №75816
 14.01.2013
Questions on grammatica.ru
With New Year! How is it right: 60 people died or died in the dam?

[ + 38 - ] Comment quote №75815
 14.01.2013
Commentary in Khabr’s article "Technology acquaintance after 25 years in prison":
Just like my mom, but she didn’t sit.

[ + 42 - ] Comment quote №75814
 14.01.2013
The wolf is fighting.
Balance in nature,
He taught rabbits to shoot.
He was shot in the garden.

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №75813
 14.01.2013
From the discussion of satya on the hubre about a man who after 25 years in prison got acquainted with new technologies.
XHH: Sometimes in the 90s I had the experience of communicating with someone who had just left the zone, which has lasted since the times of the union. I had a CD player. He was so struck by the device as if he had seen something alien.
Do you have a CD player?

[ + 15 - ] Comment quote №75812
 14.01.2013
Reine:...a lot of people can scream in their ears "Wow!" and listen to the echo for half an hour.

[ + 37 - ] Comment quote №75811
 14.01.2013
Commentary in a library on the works of Tolkien:

And let's hold a competition for the title of supercharger on the site. Applicants will have to read ALL translations of the "Hobbit" presented in availability (Ukrainian is not mandatory). The winner - a luxury in Kashchenko and collecting money for hair transplant on the feet.

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №75810
 14.01.2013
I went to my friends for the car today. They had a 3-storey house while waiting in the courtyard looking at the facade. And here I see a little girl on the third floor, like in horror movies straight!(there are no friends of children) shorter, I think, stop watching how strange she is and in general. I turn around, but in a couple of seconds I still look out the window... and there is empty already! as in the horror of Treasury (
What about a girl? As in the cinema? In a dirty dress?
She, in the clean.
WOW: Well it’s not for long as I know)) and the face is not visible from behind the hair, right?))
She was still shaking her hand and yelling for seven days.

[ + 43 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №75809
 14.01.2013
Have you seen the movie Seven Psychopaths?
Is it about psychopaths?
X: And now guess how many?

[ + 33 - ] Comment quote №75808
 14.01.2013
The neighbor had a night party. Well, I think if it happens again tomorrow, I’ll go hit him in the face.
It came tomorrow. The midnight. The nausea is quiet. I lie. He does not sleep. Suddenly from the neighbor's apartment began to spread female stones. I think it is midnight to listen to it. But no, the stones lasted 30 seconds, then abruptly interrupted and followed by this dialogue:
She is in shock: is that all???? to
He said yes :(
Further, there was a wild female rust, a moan, a knock on the door and a stalk over the male.
After that it was really sad to beat this poor man)))

[ + 33 - ] Comment quote №75807
 14.01.2013
The news.

The White House responded by rejecting a petition from the U.S. to build the Death Star. The document was signed by 34 thousand people. The residents of the United States asked the government to “search for resources, allocate funding and start building the Death Star in 2016.” One comment from the US government:

Why should we spend the enormous money of taxpayers on the “Star of Death”, which has a defect that can lead to its destruction by a single-seat star?

[ + 34 - ] Comment quote №75806
 14.01.2013
xxx: Today I thought about how it is still easy to spend 24 thousand rubles in less than 3 weeks, it is more difficult to live the rest of the month on the remaining 2.
It’s almost impossible to remember where you spent that money!!! to

The best quotes and jokes from the bezdna