bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 69 - ] Comment quote №41952
 20.01.2011
By 2012, your stories about the spoon will come to the workers of the nuclear power plant.

[ + 49 - ] Comment quote №41951
 20.01.2011
Suddenly, on my way, a prince and a crocodile will swim.
Mo_Ona : Oh

[ + 66 - ] Comment quote №41950
 20.01.2011
In the office.
1: What are you doing?
2: I am working
1: I seriously ask.

[ + 76 - ] Comment quote №41949
 20.01.2011
Yesterday I picked out cups in the store, and next to the shelves were various toys. Suitable mom and daughter (daughter at the appearance of 15 years old)...mama grit, maybe you have this cat...look how cute! Here I had to turn around and say with a smile...the girl is probably out of age to play in toys))) It is time to meet with the boys! The girl coughed and told me in a quiet bass that she chose a toy for her child))

[ + 75 - ] Comment quote №41948
 20.01.2011
I want to change the bath a little. Throw out the mirror and make a closet for all nonsense in its place. Don’t you know they do that on order?
On the order of people kill even, and you worry about the closet.

[ + 95 - ] Comment quote №41947
 20.01.2011
I am calling for SMS alerts. In Ural, not in the office. I am telling you the situation, Blabla.
Go to the specialist and wait for an answer.
Waiting for 3 minutes
Noise in the line. I am :
- Yes
You would say they took the phone.
I was told to wait for an answer.
And I was told
Are you a customer?
Yes, and what about you?
I’m a good customer, good luck to you.
And you too.

[ + 95 - ] Comment quote №41946
 20.01.2011
I want to watch porn in gravity.
That is to say, not to look in gravity, but to porn in gravity.
2 – Jokingly
1: Though looking in unheavy, I also don’t mind.
1: The power is thrown away!
1: And then you can play who gets involved first.
I will not fly into space with you.

[ + 73 - ] Comment quote №41945
 20.01.2011
From the Mom’s Forum:

How to remove fluid from baby’s ears?
Are you sick, Otitis?
Xxx: No
Did you swim a lot?
Xxx: No
YYY: So what then?
XXX you can guess! The urine! No adult man will be able to suck himself in the ear! Urinotherapy, fucking for children

[ + 73 - ] Comment quote №41944
 20.01.2011
XXX: Good morning With a celebration!! to
WOW : thank you! And you too!
Zzzz: What is the joke?
XXX: Well so...Baptism of God!
zzz: Aaa... and I thought 172 years since Paul Cézanne’s birthday... googled....blin...)))

[ + 63 - ] Comment quote №41943
 20.01.2011
"GIBDD has abandoned women"
Well, and who needs them, I quote: "Less taking bribery, rarely exceeding official powers and clearly fulfilling instructions" GIBDD employees?

FreePilgrim

[ + 119 - ] Comment quote №41942
 20.01.2011
She witnessed the brilliant dialogue between the seller and the buyer in the store. If Peterson had heard this, he would have died of jealousy)))

There is a man standing in front of the shirt, confused and not knowing what to choose. A salesman runs by, whom he cries, asking, as it were, about the socks:

Do you have "Sisi"?
Oh yeah, yes of course...
Please show me what?
How are you not ashamed to ask for that?! to
I am ashamed, very ashamed! Just my wife wanted to come and see, and she got sick, she sent me.
Does she not have her own?! to
There is! But they have her already old, stretched out and pulled out of her pants...

[ + 70 - ] Comment quote №41941
 20.01.2011
I never ask anyone "Sorry, where is the toilet here?"I’m Russian! I am used to deciding where the toilet is.
Beetle Ipatov

[ + 71 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №41940
 20.01.2011
Conversation with Mom. I am 22 years old)
I: Can you allow me to pierce my ear?
Mother: No
You are not a homicide.
I am the Left.
The right knee
Mothers are for girls. You have so little men.
A man in my understanding is the one who says what he does. Like Chubbs for example. Unfortunately, you are not such. Not a man. And also with an earscreen. The Pure Girl
I: Yes and OK
When the right is right
Q: What is right?
You don’t want to be a man.

[ + 62 - ] Comment quote №41939
 20.01.2011
Comments on Antivirus.
xxx: the user of Ubuntu looks at it all with astonishment
yyy: Representatives of sexual minorities look at contraceptives with confusion.

[ + 69 - ] Comment quote №41938
 20.01.2011
Did you see a photo of her in the bathroom? I wonder who shot her there?
YYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY Per on a plate or oven the camera put and shot...
xxx: I don't want to upset you, but you have a walk alone in the bathroom or the oven is worth it!

[ + 70 - ] Comment quote №41937
 20.01.2011
We arrived at the regional distribution point. This is such a huge part. We were already divided into groups. The major came to instruct us and said: The Armed Forces of the Russian Federation are doing everything for your benefit. Your Defense Minister recently signed a new decree, according to which in the army instead of cigarettes will be issued..." All such:"Oh, cool!!!" And he:"So now you will be in your free time from work not to smoke, but a hundred......." ))))) Rjach stood for 20 minutes....))))))

[ + 63 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №41936
 20.01.2011
My SMS was sent at night.
xxx: "Despite the fact that you pulled off my blanket, went to bed and shot in the morning, it was very sweet with you..."
I thought I wasn’t burning.

[ + 60 - ] Comment quote №41935
 20.01.2011
A long time ago, my brother, a future physicist, asked me:
Do you know the Newton-Archimedes law?
I: No, but what kind of law is that?
The body moves straight and equally accelerated until the fluid immersed in this body takes it out of this state.

[ + 53 - ] Comment quote №41934
 20.01.2011
xxx: I decided to get rid of the maculature accumulated in five years of work.
YYYY : wow!
xxx: Called the archive, asked how to submit documents for destruction. It turns out they have to be bundled in packs, otherwise they will not be accepted.
I approach my secretary and say:
Give me a rope!
and IRA:
Do you need soap?
No, until we have to.
YYY: The Pepper! Yes, documents not linked to packages become virtually indestructible!
Good IRA!
After 5 minutes I go to the toilet and the soap is gone.
Go to IRA:
You won’t believe it, but I need soap too.
YYYY :
I swallow...

[ + 66 - ] Comment quote №41933
 20.01.2011
Strange, something he doesn’t answer. I throw his pictures, and he is silent.
Hands are busy...

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