bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 64 - ] Comment quote №39361
 25.11.2010
From the L2 forum from the topic: "Acceptance of applications for the post of Forum Moderator"
1) I am a student, I am studying in 5th grade... Yes, it was in 5th grade... You were not mistaken, it was in 5th grade. I think that age is not important, but I am 12 years old, but it is not important. I am kind, cute, strict, bad + I am a blonde. The height is 137 centimeters. Weight: 42 kg I played in La2, from 5 or 6 years old, I don’t remember exactly. But I am adequate.
2) I was a moderator on a porn forum, meaning what to do and so on. I can do everything. Ready to keep order.
3) Why to me? Because I’m great, that’s it. No one is better than me, 100%. Did the joke work? I liked it too. If so, why exactly me? Because I will protect schoolchildren on the server. I will not leave you offended!!! to

[ + 45 - ] [2 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №39360
 25.11.2010
XXX: You don’t understand anything. He is hypereducated! Even when he tosses, the little one tosses off.)

[ + 62 - ] [3 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №39359
 25.11.2010
About about:
Bring it somewhere, or the girl, apparently, in ignorance.
>> Men, the question of the day! Has anyone ever stopped the girl from shaving her legs?? to

Neither the unbarred legs, nor the hair on the nipples, nor the absence of a patch on the face, nor even the old and apparently worn clothes (as the girl said - you will not suddenly go off) personally stopped me. In the dark, all cats are gray.

The guy!! The girl will hardly give if her legs are not shaved. We are shy, and she is ashamed.

[ + 90 - ] Comment quote №39358
 25.11.2010
Found on the forum, the topic of how to fight cockroaches (one of the posts):

XXX: Don’t fuck the cockroaches! They are the most devout domestic animals. You urinate, digest, and they love you in spite of all your hardships, and they don’t go anywhere.

[ + 66 - ] [2 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №39357
 25.11.2010
Try it fucking!! Not to try!! Remember this ignorant!! to
Nefig was about to be teaching at school...

[ + 60 - ] [3 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №39356
 25.11.2010
The administration of the Lisbon hotel, where members of the Georgian delegation were staying at the NATO summit, was forced to call the police to calm the noisy guests.
As on Wednesday by Georgian media with reference to the Portuguese press, members of the Georgian delegation invited 80 prostitutes to the hotel and arranged a noisy walk in the rooms.
French President Nicolas Sarkozy, who stayed in the same hotel, appealed to the hotel administration, which in turn called the police.
The Portuguese police have drawn up a protocol.
According to the media, their Armenian colleagues who participated in the NATO summit also joined the Georgian delegation.

[ + 63 - ] Comment quote №39355
 25.11.2010
Peelings treat me better than people. They sit in the cold and dark, waiting for their hour to delight.

[ + 109 - ] Comment quote №39354
 25.11.2010
Cheese to the seafarer! You swim for too long.
KOCTOPE3: Swimming fucking, the sailors walk.
Well then: Eeee, fuck it up! You swim for too long.

[ + 49 - ] Comment quote №39353
 25.11.2010
Go out for me!

Well, as an honest man, you have to fuck me first!

[ + 75 - ] Comment quote №39352
 25.11.2010
maxptk: It seems that the vocabulary of customers has begun to expand. Now to the phrase "Make me beautiful!" was added and "Play with the shape of the square".

[ + 9 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №39351
 25.11.2010
I asked my wife: Do I need a mistress? But her response seemed unconvincing to me.

[ + 39 - ] [2 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №39350
 25.11.2010
Intelligent people
There were two Moscow girls: a retiree mother and daughter, also a retiree, but at the same time a school teacher. They lived in the bedroom area on the twentieth floor. Everything in their lives was measured and understandable: neither husband nor children the teacher never deserved, so she quietly lived with her mom in a one-room apartment.
In one not beautiful morning, the life of the Moscow girls was divided into the past - colorful and real dirty-black. They woke up from the wild screams and the loud music of Black Eyes. They looked into the hallway and immediately received a good advice:
Close the door and stop you from dancing. Do you see people have a celebration?
It turned out – this is a very large group of Azerbaijanis, right in the corridor organized a walk about the purchase of a two-bedroom apartment on their floor.
But it was not hell, it was only the alarming music at the door of hell.
After a month of such life, the second neighbors trembled. They sold their trousers cheaply to these same glorious guys and, without looking back, went where the eyes look. Approximately 40 people lived in two apartments. In insult, and in insult. Every day, our teacher was planned to torture to leave the apartment and return home in the evening.
24 hours a day in the corridor, Azerbaijanis were smoking on the shelves, dragging a woman for her shirt and stealing, saying, “Aunt, let’s sell the apartment while we give the money, then you will give, for a chilogram of potatoes.”
The whole corridor to the ceiling was filled with tomato boxes and the devil knows what else to do.
When the women called the police, a “smacked” district came and said:
- Citizens, don't be such a slander, you need to be friends with your neighbors. They
They have the same right to live here as you do. You are not a nationalist.
any of them? The boxes are removed from the corridor. Yes guys?
Chandler Chandler, we will clean it up.
Every time after leaving the neighborhood, the door of the mother and daughter were barricaded with boxes. Without light for days.
Finally, under the pressure of the shark, the third neighbors trembled: with the battles they withdrew.
The women remained alone among the hundreds of glorious “black eyes”. Our heroines for the apartment offered exactly half of its actual value:
Why do you need so much money? Take as much as we give, buy
Apartment in the area, there is fresh air. Why do you want Moscow? Live and give
the other.
The women burned, and they thought to sell their apartment, but not to the hot Azerbaijani guys for money, but through an agency.
It ended up with the fact that none of the potential buyers could even step out of the elevator. They were immediately explained that this was their floor, and you climbed on your own mountain into someone else’s house.
This continued from month to month, until our heroines stumbled upon my sister, who works in a huge real estate company as a major specialist (I don’t want to advertise – it’s not about the company, it’s about people).
My sister takes such life dramas very close to her heart, she doesn't sleep at night, she tries to make sure that some old woman is not treated by children and left without housing. She is a good girl, just believe me.
In front of her are sitting two crying old ladies, over whom you can no longer tell who is mother and who is daughter.
My sister worked on this for a month. The situation, you agree, is pathetic. How can you sell an apartment at a market price if you can’t even show it?
But she has my smart, found a suitable intelligent family of potential buyers of a one-bedroom apartment and let us praise:
- The option is just chic: and this, and this, and the parquet, and the view from the window, and the floor,
The park is down and the subway is down. A house, not an apartment. I am afraid that
It is not in your teeth.
In other words, not the teeth? The price suits us.
It is not a matter of price. There are only such neighbors on the floor, you only have them.
You will see, immediately run away. Just the animals.
Don’t be afraid for us, we are intelligent people, but beasts.
We are not afraid.
They went to see the apartment and they liked it very much. I bought.
They were in the seventh sky of happiness. With the money they were able to buy an apartment in a neighboring house on the first floor.
The teacher called my sister a month later to thank her again and tell her that they went with their mother to a girlfriend in the old house and looked up at their floor... no box and even a cigarette. A polite Azerbaijani man ran by, greeted him and fled behind the door. of grace.
And the secret of the focus is that the sister for a whole month was looking for exactly such a family, which she took on "weak".
It was an ordinary intelligent family of Chechens.

[ + 48 - ] Comment quote №39349
 25.11.2010
The boss presses a button and says to his secretary, “Lenocha, two.
Coffee please!”
The voice from the speaker: “Andrei Petrovich, can you leave me alone at least for the weekend? Get out of the home!”

[ + 71 - ] Comment quote №39348
 25.11.2010
Only my mom called and asked, “Sasha, I was told yesterday that you are in a sweater somewhere. I never knew what kind of sweater you were wearing and where you were seen.

[ + 69 - ] Comment quote №39347
 25.11.2010
Prayer(23:35:02 24/11/2010)
Tagged with: "Style"

Loyola (23:35:18 24/11/2010)
Are they still dusting?

[ + 86 - ] [7 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №39346
 25.11.2010
Listen, how to kill time?
Install the WoW.
X I play for a maximum of 2 hours.
Let us see)

[ + 89 - ] Comment quote №39345
 25.11.2010
I go in the elevator with a colleague at work (a girl), she crashes into the area of my spleen and asks:
D: Listen, does he bother you?
I: There is no such thing.
D: Well I mean when walking he doesn’t talk, you’re comfortable sitting with him?
I: It’s okay, I’m used to it.
D: And when you delay, is it okay too?
I am slowly surprised and start to laugh, but she with an absolutely serious face gets her job pass out of the pocket of her shirt and says:
D: Yes, I’m tired of carrying it in my pocket, I think I might ask too.
And then I notice that I have a work pass hanging on my belt, on such a holder, which must first be pulled off, and it automatically returns to its place.


[ + 59 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №39344
 25.11.2010
To the attacks in the army...the case was in Kaliningrad Oblast.
I will not forget the fall of our Mitchman in school.
Generally speaking, a dozen people were taken to the Hall of Fame of the great commanders before the fighting, ordered to open fire hydrants, well, and from the firearms to pour the whole park so that the water stood on the ankle!!! The hips were not twisted on the hydrants and we were all wrapped with ice water to the thread, well, I think, it will only be useful.Why was this whole conner we learned at 4.30 in the morning, when we were awakened (five people), and ordered to collect on the previously poured of us rain worms, for fishing this mitchman his mother...

[ + 93 - ] Comment quote №39343
 25.11.2010
From the discussions in one group:
No, here I will argue with you: taste is such a thing, that either you are or not - you can't strike nails.
I have two nephews, and when I come to visit them, they ask them to transmit music to their phones.Well, knowing this, I try to find some cartoon songs specifically for them in advance.
And then recently overthrew the little music, and they all canyon - still, mol, still...Dostali.Now to get rid of them, threw them a couple of songs from rock ))So while the older tribe (13L) jumped under the song of lemurs from Madagascar, the younger (9L) very carefully listened to the natvish and Alice several times, and then with murderous seriousness and approval said to me; 'Oh, I see, you have normal songs on the phone appeared!'


[ + 65 - ] Comment quote №39342
 25.11.2010
I will clean my memory with alcohol.
Q: Are you still worried about that stuff? Go beat you now. Are you better at the club?
Lemonchik: fucking fool I want to clean up the dust with alcohol
Well, you reminded me of it now I’ll have to crack :(

The best quotes and jokes from the bezdna