Many, looking at the convulsive efforts of the government to fill the budget at the expense of the population, ask themselves the question – greed or stupidity? God, why is it “or”?

xxx: Try to mess with one of the daughters Stallone - and there will be a new episode of Rambo )

Yyy: "Veteran of the Vietnam War John Rambo in the hope of finding the guy who sent a photo of his member to one of his daughters, came to Russia..."

No matter what the story is, continue...

Upon arrival in Moscow, John decides to have breakfast at the KFS, where he meets Mr. Universe and Arnold Schwarzenegger’s best friend Alexander. Impressed with sympathy for the guest of the capital, Alexander decides to help John in the search for a...

XXX: Half the script is already ready.

YYY: The next half-hour insert, like Nevsky and Rambo go through the streets of Moscow under music. Then they go to the public toilet, the music changes to alarming, John and Sasha stand next to the pissuars doing the need and kindly talking, suddenly John's gaze freezes just below Alexander's belt... without breaking away from the affairs, John gets his daughter's phone out of his pocket, what he's looking for in it, and suddenly changes in the face...

I went to an interview with the recruiter agency. Position of engineer.

For about 25 years, the girl was interested in where she worked, who, what she did. In the words, an electromagnetic valve, a reducer, a signal sensor rattled the forehead, sneered and quickly picked up something on the keyboard with an understanding look. He thought of making his resume on me, but behind her back was a mirror door of the closet. She just googled all the incomprehensible words...After which she told me that they were picking up a person for a job in a company that deals with cooling equipment (industrial chillers are ordered). Then there was a thermodynamics exam. She googled questions, I answered what I remember, trying to add more clever words, so that she didn’t have time to swallow it all, and smiling less when she Dacala and Kiwa.

The last question word in word:

Have you worked with vessels under pressure?

to work.

Under what pressure was the vessel?

Working 300 atm, limit 650.

The atmosphere? How much is it in pascals?

- 30 million with a tail (good that not bars though)

Googlett, that can’t be. The vessel would not stand, why do you deceive me? I am afraid you won’t get to us. (Hey, she’s swallowed the pots, the pots can be any)

Are you sure you are competent in this?

and yes. to Goodbye.



The next day a man from that company called and offered 3 months of internship for 150 backs a month, because I have no experience and I need to be trained. I will not agree to this.

This was stated by the employee of the Kia Auto Show. of our days.

Three people came to the "Kia" car salon - a husband with a wife and pop. The prelude is this - before the wedding decided to redeem sins and decided to help the daddy with transportation, but not straight to take and give the car, but to add the daddy the missing amount. My father has 800 r.

They went, looked, chose and chose. "Kia Sport" at the minimum for 1 250 000. Well said done. Go to form. Father for the time being left to inspect the car, and the married went to the box office, with Father's money. But we did not get to the box. Through the service area they entered the backyard and left in an unknown direction. My father didn’t call the organs. He shook his beard and it was like that.

They built such a capitalism that there is no such a socialism that there is no such a socialism.
So said L. Simkin.

The antonyms “dry” and “half-sweet” reminded...
Gorbachev's time, with a cynical attitude to alcohol. My mother works in a wine store.
I am 6 years old. It’s a hot August, we’re coming to Odessa. I don't remember how it went, but not "wild" as usual, but on the most real base of rest. Now she began to recall, and in her head shuddered the voice of an old loud speaker: "The rest base of Dawn invites to lunch!" This is where I celebrated my beloved parent.
On the first evening, before the dances, local massivists from the directorate played games for recreators. The scenario is simple. I know five names of flowers.“I know the five names of trees!” Volunteers who failed to accomplish the task are returned to the audience. Mom is still staying in the cottage, and I am already depicting a "wonderkinder" in the central site of the base.
Questions are becoming more and more mature, the rows of players are rapidly decreasing. And I hold on, that’s smart. (When I look at my photo from that summer – a shuffle in a peanut dress and round eyes – it becomes fun.) Here are the three of us. A tall, beautiful officer in a summer shirt, a red-looking lady of the Balzac age (this is now everything I know about Balzac, then I couldn't understand why my grandmother had such a beautiful white dress) well, and I, my mom's joy. The question, another question, we go from nose to nose. There is a mutual understanding between the young officer and the lady in the dress. I feel it well, I think they conspired to prevent me from winning!
I know five kinds of cheese.“I know five kinds of sausages!” - Hey guys, my mom, right now, in a time of terrible deficit, works in a wine and ice cream store, and I am a child curious, well, you understand...
The host of the show obviously decides that it is time to bind with the little one, and to provide the story of a brave officer and a beautiful lady with a beautiful end.
I know the five names of alcoholic drinks. The lady answers first - and on the fourth name fails. Ura to! I thought it would not be red anymore. My turn: "Old Kiev" - once, "Karat" - two... I regret, I do not remember what I called the third and fourth number. The last one was Basel.
I have won.
The man in shape did not respond. He strangely bended twice, wiped his face with the sleeve of a white kitten and cried. Suddenly, I felt sorry for a beautiful officer, and I, still pressing the microphone in my hands, began to tell him: "Uncle, there is another "Sniper", "Ambassador", "Ararat!" With each title, the audience was increasingly delighted with my victory.
The host said that I am a real winner and that my parents can be proud of me. And that I run to my house, because my mom probably won’t come to dance with me.

The man who argued that: "Mathematics schools are a remnant of the past, and such professions as a mathematician and a programmer in the future will be needed less and less" today crumbles that: "lost billions of rubles because of mistakes of artificial intelligence."

told a friend. He was interviewed for the position of assistant director. Company as a firm. The local producer. Known in the region. After the conversation c. He was left in the office waiting for the director. From the director shed fresh alcohol, but he kept vigorous. After some time, the director called the secretary, and she immediately brought them the count, drinks and snacks. have drunk. Then again... And again... He doesn’t remember how he got home. In the morning, the director called and said he was accepted. It really works for the second year. Sometimes the boss hurts.

Drinking is harmful!

I sit at home tonight. A bell at the door. There are two people on the threshold: a boy and a girl aged 27-30:

Good day!

The good...

We are a federal investment group specializing in attracting contributions from potential retirees and increasing their well-being. And we came to you on the recommendation of Victor Fatherhood. Do you know such?

Uncle Vivian. Yes, I knew him. He lived here...

- Yes, judging by all, he has a good opinion about you and he recommended you as a reliable and stable investor.

Guys guess it. Are you from hell?

In the sense?

- Uncle Vitya died a year and a half ago in a drunk ugar. What investments? Goodbye to! Uncle Vite greetings.

It was in the 90s, I was probably 5 years old, and I really wanted to taste beer. For some reason it seemed like lemonade, with the same bubbles, cold, sweet. But to try it, of course, nobody allowed me to.



So one day, on a hot summer day, I walked through the street and saw a glass bottle of Zhygulevsky filled to about half. The thief looked around in search of the adults, picked up this bottle and made a small swallow. I didn’t like the taste of the content, and I refused to drink beer for 20 years.



P.S I still prefer to think that there was really beer. Do not discourage

Why do we work at 8 a.m. and the neighboring store at 9 a.m.? I want a chocolate tea.

Why not buy a chocolate at night and eat it for tea in the morning?

If I buy chocolate in the evening, I will eat it in the evening.

Buy two.

I and two will eat tonight.

and OK. How much chocolate do you need to eat in the morning?

I never had so much chocolate before.

The great humanitarian project of the Ministry of Culture and the Ministry of Education – education needed.

State Duma Speaker Vyacheslav Volodin explained the removal of Kyrgyz debt: “The strategic partnership includes both debt removal and the adoption of other decisions. What we get in return, the question is not very correct, a partnership is a street with bilateral movement, a partner can put a shoulder – it will always be more support than money.” Dear state, write me a mortgage, I will also put my shoulder down someday. In addition, my shoulder will be more reliable than the Kyrgyz...

It’s not easy to climb the career ladder. It is necessary to constantly turn away from those who are crawling down.

The oath

“The oath is terrible to the wise, but ridiculous to the fool.”

It was somewhere in the middle of zero.
I just moved to work for a new television company and my first day of work just came to a sluggish corporate on the occasion of the Soviet Army Day.
Nobody knew me, I knew nobody, I think during the intercom and we will meet.
A television company gathered at the table almost in its entirety: from assistants and administrators, to directors and operators.
Began toasts for the army, for men, for women who are waiting for men from the army, well, and all in the same spirit.
And since I’ve never tried any alcohol in my life, I’ve been lingering more and more on strawberries and tomato juice, but people quickly noticed that the new director isn’t drinking at all and asked: “Driving?”
My mood was playful, especially in a strange company, I didn’t want to give out the true reason for my sobriety and I decided to talk:

- Yes, you know, I am in shock, so sometimes I want to remember youth, drink, relax, just not to convey words.
Especially on such a day, and especially for acquaintance.
But this is the case, when I served in the army and was about to be dismissed in the first batch, we and friends-dembels got the selfie and, of course, after the defeat, we dropped a farewell drunk in the fleet, noted a quick defeat.
Shortly in the morning, we were caught by our captain, the commander of the company.
He was a man, but fair. We, of course, understood that today, instead of a dumbel, we will all go to the local hauptwacht and see our mothers only after the New Year, a month in three.
The captain suddenly says:

I am sorry for you, fools. Okay, let’s do so – if each of you here and now gives me his male word that he will never again drink any alcohol in his life. Never at all, not a drop at all. Then I forget about your drunkenness, and you go to the barracks to sleep and spend the days quietly travelling around the houses. Decide to.
We all gave our word. Everyone except one.
And here, it’s been more than twenty years since I can’t drink, not even at the wedding, or at the New Year. I only smell traffic. It’s awful, but for now I keep my word. Where are you going? No one pulled my tongue.

The audience was very surprised and after the pause spoke:

What fucking word? Let him go! You will think. Twenty years have passed! I would just dumb and immediately send this captain a picture of how I’m swallowing.
Old man, are you serious? Forget it! You were only twenty years old. You will think, the word given, if few people have any words given, especially on such a serious matter. The captain has long kept his promises. He forgot it a hundred times. Half of life passed. I, as a lawyer, say, he took advantage of your impasse and made a cabal deal. Especially in words. Drink and forget.
I objected that it was our conscious choice, because the one, who did not promise anything to the captain, the next day sat on his lips and actually stuck for another month for two.

Someone said:
- You need to find this captain, talk to him in the soul, maybe he will meet you and allow you to take your word. Not a beast. Twenty years is not enough. I have to agree. and?
And all the others how? Have they dropped too?
How do I know? Everyone spoke for himself personally.
Yes the trouble. It is a shame at twenty years to cut off the way to retreat. And now not even a glass of expensive vinyl drink. But nothing to do, a promise is a promise. Don’t let God get that way.

Many years have passed since then. Laughter is laughter, but on that day I immediately understood and a hundred times later I was convinced that of all the people in that television company, I could only trust those who advised to find a captain, or mourned about the expensive wine, but those who advised to spit and forget the oaths, I could never rely.
And not only me...

Today I saw an old lady helping a boy across the road playing with a smartphone.

told a familiar doctor. A story without prints. But I quite allow.

Samara, a businessman of the 90s. Very thick. Problems with the liver began, he arranged a consultation with a local doctor, by acquaintance. The doctor took him and said that "he will prescribe therapy to him, but the medicine will not work, because it will be absorbed in his fat. And that before the therapy he needs to urgently lose weight. " Refused the money.



The businessman was upset and told the secretary that he would find the best, not this monster in a mint coat. The secretary booked a consultation in America, to the glory of hepatology, a turn to him for six months and some wild price for consultation. Three months later, for a huge bump (analysis, out-of-schedule consultation, trip, accommodation), he sits on a consultation at the lighthouse, which tells him:

- I will prescribe therapy, but the drug will not work, as excess fat will be absorbed in your body, you need to lose weight.



He came back and began to shrink.

As a child, I was often left with my grandfather. Grandfather is a professor, teaches at the university, a respected person. He has a hobby, collecting wine. He proudly calls himself an enophilist. When I was six years old, I was taken to a "exam" at the little girl's school before going to school. One of the tasks was to name the antonyms. I called the word “dry” the antonym “half-sweet.” My parents talked a long time with the teacher.

I have a few bottles of men's columns from avon (not advertising). My wife worked, now my daughter. So, there is a healthy bottle among them, but the smell I don't like very much, and what is there, I don't like it at all! I sprayed them after shaving and instead of a deodorant used and burned the wounds, used something to wipe-wipe, did everything so that this ugliness would end faster. And he, the infection, does not end and does not end. To throw away it is a pity – a gift, and money is worth it, and I am far from a millionaire. Other columns were rarely used, berge. And suddenly in the days I watch - and shit that, literally for a few times left. Uriah! Well, I will finally start using cool, proven and wonderful columns! Nothing predicted trouble.

23 February. In a solemn atmosphere, my daughter gives me a gift:

Congratulations, it is for you. I know you will like.

I turn the curtains and... the eyes are rounded, the jaw falls, the tongue is covered with selective mats, because in my hands I have BLA...Y! The same healthy bottle, the same column!

“Daddy, I knew you’d like it, because it’s your favorite column, you use it so often. Dad, have I guessed?

Of course, my sweetheart, I got in the top ten. thank you!

I love my daughter very much, but what to do now with this stinking column I don't know, I can't stand the second marathon.

My mom told me.

She walked out with my older sister, who was 3-4 years old at the time. The sister is digging in the sandbox, the mother is watching on the bench next door.

Here, children come to the venue, one of which is a 5-year-old daughter of the administration, and begins to command.

So, from here we will scratch the sand, fold here (waste cars), there is a parking, there is a gasoline, the rest of the toys in the corner.

My mother can’t stand it, she asks:

Why are you commanding here? You have to play so that everyone is equally involved in the game.

“And I,” said the girl, “will become a boss when I grow up.

You are playing in the garbage. Do you want to be the manager of the garbage?

Well what! - a child parishes, - let at least the garbage, the main - to be the boss!