XHH: I once repaired the car in the garage and it caused me to joke. He took the old bag, pushed it into the bucket, went down there, tied the bag and put it outside the gate. I wanted to throw it in the garbage on the way home. As you may have guessed, the package has been removed. Moreover, it is unlikely that the thief would start unbinding the node, breaking the package faster.

One boy had a birthday (4 years old). A crowd of the same carapuses 3-4 years old.

The animator leads the party and says: guys, why are we all here? The children are a little dull and silent, looking at the animator with interest. The animator decides to suggest and continues:

Maybe today is New Year?

No is!

Maybe today is March 8th?

No is!

What is the celebration today? Let’s talk together, three or four!

All the children are chorus:

Three or four!

5 years ago, when he served in the Belarusian militia, he was driving with a partner on one of the streets in Minsk. On the sidewalk, he saw his sister talking to a girl. I asked my partner to stop and say hello to my sister. He got out of the car, approached them, hugged his head and greeted them. I have zero reactions, they talk. I’m standing, waiting, I think maybe the conversation is important, but inside it feels like something is wrong. I looked at my "sister" and realized that the features of the face were slightly different and the voice was different. But the hairstyle, the height, even the style of clothes like my sister’s. It came to me that it wasn’t her, I quietly turned, sat in the car, we left.

P.S I imagine what they thought: the mint came, stood quietly, listened to the conversation and left.)

Since the time of Ostap Bender, car runs have remained in Russia the most popular way to fight off-road.

My wife calls me:

- The cat came, sat on the laptop keyboard and he went out.

I, realizing that the combination of switching screens was probably pressed, first tried to explain what icons on the keyboard to look for... Then I realized that it was a long time and said that I would come in the evening to see.

He calls back.

You help everybody, but I can’t. and all. I fixed it myself without you.

How is? I ask.

The cat sat on the keyboard again. Everything worked out.

I went to the site with eco-cosmetics, and there... a shower gel in a brush. Gel for the soul in the brush! Millennials invented soap.

Born to crawl the presence of non-flying zones does not stress.

Doctors of the City of Dr. Zivago

A few years have passed since I finished my “departmental career as a pediatrician” and started depicting myself as a domestic businessman earning where, what and how much I could. At the same time, I was often asked by friends, colleagues, former patients or parents of former patients to "look, advise, advise".
Here and then the future wife asked "just look at the girlfriend's child, something is sick."
Yes with pleasure. We come in the evening to a friend - a child aged 10-12, so bitten, calm, everything is fine, nothing hurts.
Three days ago I had a little bit of stomach.
My mother caused a district - some kind of mild gastritis.
The grandmother called the ambulance in the evening - those, except for the red throat, found nothing.
Grandfather called a good acquaintance - a professor from the medical institute - residual phenomena of ARI.
Mother seemed little and she called the district again - for which she received an easy escape from him for meaningless anxiety.
Then there was, in my opinion, an urgent...
I looked at the child, also found nothing - the throat slightly swollen, the lymph nodes medium, the breath clean, the stomach fatty, soft, the kidneys do not respond.
In the faces of others I realized that I absolutely did not justify their hopes - and looked again. Again nothing. The condemnation and disappointment of me in the households increased.
He stopped touching and looking at the child, just sat next to him and began to “feel” him.
The surroundings continued to quietly confuse and strengthened the expression of the faces.
... the throat - nothing, the heart - nothing, the lungs - nothing, the stomach - nothing, the liver - a little something is felt (a thick guy, or the gallbladder, or the canals are narrowed), the kidneys - nothing.
I sat down, I thought, I call a friend-surgeon: I apologize for almost the night call, so say and so, everything is okay, I see nothing, if it is very stricken - something in the liver, it is uncomfortable to bother, but people are good, look condemning, don't want to repair, again the future spouse nearby, will not the Great Guru give advice...
Andrei snorted something about foolish ex-pediatrists lying wrong (in the stomach??) I asked for the address. After thirty minutes - we coffee with the mother of the child not have time to drink - comes. He preciously led his moustaches, kissed his mother along with his grandmother, examined the child and said to go and go to the hospital, look at it in detail. At the grandmother’s suggestion to “wait until morning” he courteously sent her. She was told to sit at home, but her mother, who was carnivorously looking at her by the lieutenant Rzhevsky, also had to go.
Andrei in his car, we with the child and a selfish mommy - on their own, in an hour at 4 p.m.
The examination, the express blood test, comes out satisfied Andrei and says that now they will do a laparoscopy (a small perforation in the anterior abdominal wall) and through the probe will see what is there and how, since in the tests clear inflammation, minutes after 15-20 he will tell us everything.
After 15 minutes, a nurse who knew me well looked at him and greeted me. After 15 minutes, she made us all tea, put a box of candy, at the same time on duty, whispered to me that "Andrei Vladimirovich was out for two days, just left home, and you pulled him back, he did not even have time to drink tea at home."
30 minutes later, she told us not to worry, because “the whole brigade has already arrived and everyone is in the operating room.”
Looking at the whitened mommy, she asked, and what I have, and is it better for her to drip valerian or immediately pour cognac?
Gathered in Valerian.
At two o’clock, the smiling Andrew arrives.
There is nothing outside inspection. But I, like you, don’t like something about the liver. But in the analyses - clear inflammation. We do laparoscopy - nothing but the blood vessels are enlarged, possibly catarrhal appendicitis. The appendix itself is not visible, it is hidden behind the intestine. We give anesthesia and go for a cavity surgery. I take my hand for the intestine - the appendix will go out. When we cleaned it, it broke out in a towel right in my hand. and appendicitis. Another maximum of an hour and a half - and would be guaranteed to get peritonitis."
Andrei did not go home, "I had time to eat half-dinner at home before your call, so now I will sleep here, in three hours the change is still beginning."

Twenty-five years later, in the spring of 2020, the chief physician of 4 GKB Ronsin Andrei Vladimirovich, including for the organization of treatment of coronavirus infection, was awarded the medal of the Order "For Merit to the Fatherland" II degree by the decree of the President of the Russian Federation.

In this, which was released under the New 2021 Year, the video about the cowboy was sung and played by employees of the 4 GKB; the first singing, squeezed and in the glasses - the chief physician, Andrei Ronsin.

Peskov: The father of Putin’s daughters is an entrepreneur, one or several. We find it incorrect to disclose his name.

I thought about buying housing. Well, and accordingly appealed for help to the powerful and great Internet. I go, look, choose, compare, leave my data nowhere, as the favourite has not been selected yet. And here one day just an explosive phone spam terrorism “You are planning to buy a home soon? ..”, “Here you left the application on our site...” (not left) and so on.



It seems to be surprising in our difficult spam time, but the number of calls was absurd, the phone broke every minute. Not every minute, every second. I had to turn it off. Communicating or accessing the Internet was simply not possible. Curse all in the world, I already thought that somebody “ordered” me))



And in the evening, when less than a square of calls slept, my mom called (who only yesterday met the internet) and joyfully announced that she decided to “help” me with the choice of an apartment, so left applications with my number on all the sites she met along the way. “But you, little girl, don’t worry. It is free! and the curtain)

As they say, the road to hell is paved with good intentions.

Xxx: 2 years ago he broke his leg in the entrance, called an ambulance, called a friend. The guys came, picked up something and drove it into the ambulance, a friend went with me. We go, and then on the way the side door opens, on its own. A friend rushes to close it, and the driver says, "You better hold the rear, it can also open, and then the sick on the wheel can fly out."

They lost, they did not lose.

Yyy: Yes, the phrase “we’re losing him” played new colours when the medical officer Ivanov was trying to hold a catch with a patient in a collapsing car.

Democracy is now a cloth that is used to cover up violence, robbery and other abominations.

One hectare of hemp can produce more paper than three to four hectares of forest. At the same time, hemp paper does not require bleaching, does not yellow, it is stronger and more durable than wood paper.
- My friend Mentham said the same thing, they were still jailed.

The palace in Gelendzhik, according to the FSB, is just an ordinary border guard.

Everything in this life is interrelated in one way or another.
and short. Built on the outskirts of one city, or rather not on the outskirts even, but count the city, a confectionery company. Not a mini bakery, but a large factory. By advanced technology, with the participation of foreign capital, everything is done.
Solemnly opened, the ribbon was cut, and began to produce all kinds of tastes, for the joy of children and sweetheads, for the hidden anger of cuddly beauties.
After a while, the director of the factory is called to the city administration, and the head of administration says:
“They complain,” he says, “on your enterprise the residents of the nearest microregion. No collective complaint has been filed. I have to do something.
What are they complaining about? The director asks.
to smell. He explains the head. - They write that when the wind from the factory side, in the micro-area vanilla smells.
The vanilla? The director is surprised. What’s wrong with smelling vanilla? Not the shit!
Here the head of the administration looked at him strangely, thought, and spoke.
You know, people are different, one does not like the smell, the other another. You better come there, smell, talk to the locals. The question must be decided. They threaten to bring you to court. And me at the same time. Because he gave good for construction.
The director is going to the micro district. He walks out of the car and begins to pull the air with his nose. It feels like it really smells. It smells so strong. It doesn’t smell of vanilla. It smells of natural shit.
Then the director stops the first passing person and asks.
“Tell me, dear, what do you smell like this?
The passing man smelled, shrugged his shoulders, and answered.
Apparently nothing.
And went on.
Director to another passenger, with the same question. He gets the same answer. Nothing smells. I smelled again. Maybe the smell is misleading? No is no! The air clearly feels a persistent and unambiguous smell of shit. He is to the third. The same answer!
Then the director can no longer stand, and speaks indignantly.
Why does it not smell? It smells! The shit smells!
Are you about that? The local resident responds. That is normal! It’s because the wind is southwest.
Explain it! The Director says.
What to explain here? The Aboriginal says. You see, there is far away? There are cleaning facilities. When we get out of there, we smell. Not taken into account in the construction of the rose of the winds.
Did you not complain?
How did they not complain? I complained of course! Collective letters were written.
And what?
And nothing. They said it’s your own shit and smells. This is all over. We smell something, we don’t notice it. On the other hand, we built a confectionery factory. So now when we pull from there, we smell vanilla!
The vanilla?
and vanilla! And a little more cinnamon.
Vanilla is good, isn’t it?
It is who how. The Aboriginal answered. - Fuck, we already smelled, and here is vanilla...
In short, as a result, local residents sued the confectionery factory in court. And the court, which is interesting, won.
Because if it is shit, it is its own, and has a natural natural smell, and if vanilla, there are sanitary norms that limit the presence of foreign odor in the neighbouring areas of production.
True, the lawyer of the defendant put forward an interesting theory that the inhabitants are not irritated by the smell of vanilla, and that on the backdrop of vanilla they became more sharp smell of shit. But since it was only a theory, not supported by any results of the examination, the court did not take it into account.
So the factory paid a fine, and committed to put some additional filters there.
But anyway, when the pull from the north-east, vanilla in the micro-region is occasionally no-no, and it is stinking. This causes just indignation among locals. Which products of the confectionery enterprise among those with pleasure buy, thus ensuring the work of the enterprise in the southwest.
Everything in this life is interrelated in one way or another.

Vladimir Vladimirovich, is this palace yours?
Certainly not mine, but whose else?! to

It was somewhere in the mid-1990s in a deaf village where there had been no electricity for several months. Inhabitants complained, indeed, without electricity as if you live in the Stone Age. You go along the road there, and all the pillars under the root are splintered. You come to the village, and there almost every one of these pillars is a barley, a cow (plus someone in general has a fence from road signs). The hottest of the locals first switched the wires, and the rest have already pulled - what a good thing to miss! They lived for years without light.

At computer security courses in the early 2000s told stories

In those times, when the "masking show" came to the offices and took servers and PCs, the destruction of information was less evil than the deadline for its content :)

The set "2C Accounting" (later, in the internet did not find such a complex, maybe it was a joke name). In the body of the PC is mounted a set of interruptor and electromagnetic coils. By a combination of keys, the system provided a group of impulses that wiped the hard disk. Uninterruptor in case of switching off the lights before the visit of "masks". There was another "trick", a check was attached to the table on the truss. If you were not in place or you could not put your hands on the keyboard, then there was a chance that when the system unit was raised it would not be noticed and the check would bring the complex into action.

According to the narrator, he saw another security system, a guard with a gun was placed in the server. In the case of the visit of uninvited guests, a signal from the guard post was provided with a secret button, a red light was lit. After that, the guard shot the disk massive. It is reliable :) But how can I imagine that poor guy sitting in a shift and looking at the lamp in a dark, swirling, cold server room? I wonder at what time the glowing lights started :)

A call on the radio.

Calling: I’ve been living in America since the 1980s, but I’m visiting my family in Wales this week and decided to call.

Why did you move from Wales to America?

In fact, I moved because of a woman.

And who is this lucky woman?

by Margaret Thatcher.

- Imagine yesterday went to the kitchen for five minutes, and the daughter, four years old - itself turned on the laptop and called my grandmother on Skype!



What is? Does your grandmother know how to use Skype?? to