bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 53 - ] Comment quote №58613
 14.01.2012
I can make you forget you’re gay.
See also: OO
Am I gay?
See also: Voila
The Devil

[ + 34 - ] Comment quote №58612
 14.01.2012
Share a recipe for diet.
Take a picture of five years ago and post.

[ + 31 - ] Comment quote №58611
 14.01.2012
In the phrase “people’s deputy” I feel some sort of underwhelming...

[ + 54 - ] [3 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №58610
 14.01.2012
A story about the potato field and justice.

80s of the last century. The father solemnly left the family, judging a garage with a car for memory. And generously not becoming pretending to a two-room "chruščovka", in which a mother and three children remained. He did not claim, indeed, after interfering in this story.
The Committee of Soviet Women, and personally Valentina Tereshkova, whose mother in despair wrote a letter from our town. But this is another story.
The father left in the autumn, in the garage were left all the "turns", homemade canned foods and potatoes in the underground. All this he took to his family in the village.

In those years, it was a shame to ask for material aid from the state. My mother is a very proud person. None of the relatives had any idea that we were living...not very well. My dad had been away from food for a few years. I lived on the salary of a librarian, and then my mother found a job.

This is the preamble. Now the story itself. We survived the winter. In the spring in the library of my mother allocated a section "under the potatoes" outside the city. What work was worth doing! The seed potato was rubbed with a spade in several parts, so that there was a "eye" on the piece - then it was enough to sow. My mom and I.
Three daughters. The older one is 10, and the younger one is 5 years old.
Solution in a week. Then all summer - then collected the Colorado bush, then pumped...
We came here to dig potatoes. I will never forget how bitterly my mother cried in this field. And I found on the sidelines in the rough grass drunk clothes, in which thieves were weaponized. From the pocket of one of the coats fell two gold rings: a wedding ring and a ring with a red stone (ruby), in the pocket of the second coat were new
Apparently, the thieves took off the jewelry, put it in the pocket of their working clothes, so as not to dirty and in a hurry forgotten.

Since then, I have truly believed that justice exists.

[ + 35 - ] [9 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №58609
 14.01.2012
A woman is a domestic animal that needs to be cared for. Man is a cattle that needs to be cleaned.

[ + 34 - ] Comment quote №58608
 14.01.2012
In the village like: whose fist is stronger, the wife is not a prostitute.

[ + 37 - ] Comment quote №58607
 14.01.2012
If you had access to the red button, would you press it?
WOW : Of course! Per this is my only chance to celebrate for a century! And to remain in the memory of the descendants as a man who completely destroyed humanity!
I think about the descendants I’ve gotten upset.

[ + 64 - ] Comment quote №58606
 14.01.2012
To the topic "You are not ashamed?" about kindergarten:
My childhood trauma was that I didn’t know what to answer to the question “Do you have a conscience?” He said "There" - I was answered, saying unnoticed what is. And if "no", then something like "It is visible". The problem was that I didn’t even know what conscience was.

[ + 45 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №58605
 14.01.2012
<Eticam> I work in the computer. shop
<Eticam> you can’t imagine how stupid customers are.
<Eticam> I have the following questions:
<Eticam> "which is better, a scanner or a printer?"
<Eticam> "I need a serious mouse"
<Eticam> "I don’t have internet" "what connection do you have?" "Windows XP"
<Eticam> I even had a client who pulled a system block for service
<Eticam> "My dog fucked a computer and ended up in the system unit, it crushed""and like a dog?" "I don't know, my wife took it to the veterinarian"
<Eticam> someday I’ll shake my brains in front of a client

[ + 30 - ] [2 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №58604
 14.01.2012
111: - With my pace of sexual life, I can safely test anyone almost all the remaining condoms (((

[ + 31 - ] Comment quote №58603
 14.01.2012
Question 177 on the PU website:

Do you promise to make promises more promising? Have you lived better? How about us?

[ + 56 - ] Comment quote №58602
 14.01.2012
Annette
At what time were you born?
Annette
Do you remember?
boffsky
Janepomnia
boffsky
Probably in the morning
boffsky
Or closer to lunch.
boffsky
I remember the light already.
boffsky
I open my eyes, I ask.
"Where I am"
"who is here"

[ + 40 - ] Comment quote №58601
 14.01.2012
He told me about work. His father worked for a long time (in the 90s) on advertising with the Balkan Star. We had to come up with an advertising slogan. The director "Balkanki" didn’t like it. And here the director at the next meeting goes forward and gives:
U to! I made it all for you:

Drop the painting down.
The Balkans Star!

[ + 50 - ] [4 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №58600
 14.01.2012
It turns out that graphite and diamond are allotropic modifications of carbon!

And graphite can be obtained by carefully heating the diamond!

So I forgot the diamond collar next to the plate - and in the morning - the heracles, and there are pencils!

[ + 47 - ] Comment quote №58599
 14.01.2012
We discuss with a friend the topic when Santa finally fulfilled all the wishes for all the years:
Ann: Do you think you’re half a day old, January 1st and you wake up on some deserted island (which you dreamed of when you know it) in the arms of such desires? I imagined... My heels were cooled... an island... a barbie, a railway and a car on the control, 99% of the population of the earth – dead (and not how it was to scream then, I want all the fools to die!)...
And the clothes! 😉
You don’t need to be in your ass at 50 😉
Ann is WOW! by ROFL

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №58598
 14.01.2012
She always dreamed of being treated like a little girl.
She: or only all in the cellar burning by herself, and the horse to race
What did you do on a horse race?  by ROFL

[ + 42 - ] Comment quote №58597
 14.01.2012
She: Imagine you wake up in the morning and I stand in front of you in one towel.
Tagged: erection

[ + 41 - ] Comment quote №58596
 14.01.2012
Leper Messiah
On the Old New Year's Day

Ampersand
Thank you, today is a very special date. Old New Year on Friday the thirteenth, in the high year two thousand twelfth.

[ + 32 - ] Comment quote №58595
 14.01.2012
31 December. The Wedding. The guests at the restaurant at night stunned, Tamada left. A 4-year-old nephew takes a microphone into her hands and begins to ask everyone - "What do you want Santa Claus to give you for the new year?" The girl, questioning everyone, silenced for a couple of seconds and gave out: "You are all beggars!" A whirlwind of laughter overcame the whole hall)))

[ + 47 - ] Comment quote №58594
 13.01.2012
RVx: Removed the room, large, separate entrance, repair, well everything as it should be. In the load we handed down a basement room, like no one removes there anyway, use it. We brought the furniture, we dragged it, collected it, installed it. We sit smoking. Well, I wanted a little need, asked "where?", the answer is in the basement. I go down there, there is a ceiling of 1.7 meters! I find the claiming door, it hangs a large poster of transformers, "MEGATRON" is written well and the picture is appropriate. I open the door and... I understand why this poster hangs there.The ceiling is also 1.7 meters, and a fork friend stands on a stand in a meter from the floor. When you sit down, you just head down. On the one hand, fun, and on the other hand - got all these Uzbek jamsut

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