bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 58 - ] Comment quote №58513
 12.01.2012
Egoism is when you masturbate and don’t think of anyone.

[ + 50 - ] Comment quote №58512
 12.01.2012
That the whirlwind in the sky, that the blueprint in the hands - no matter from either.

[ + 26 - ] [2 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №58511
 12.01.2012
The Doll Witness

When choosing the site for the construction of any building, engineering and geological studies of soil are carried out, and the capacity of the soil is of great importance. First, the foundation of the building is generally not erected on moist soils, and secondly, if a basement room is also provided, it is performed in the root soils, because the moist soils contain impurities, building and household garbage, their carrying capacity is low, and they should be removed. My colleague geologist, conducting surveys in the city, at one of the sites found that the capacity of the soil reaches 4.0m, which he reflected in the report. The buyer of the construction was not pleased with such a verdict, and he stated that the geologist is wrong, and he does not intend to spend money on the export of non-existent saturated soil. A commission was created consisting of a customer, a designer-architect and a geologist, the culprit of the dispute. An excavator was delivered to the scene and began digging the tranche on the site being examined. At each meter of the depth of the excavated tranche, the customer tried to prove that it was already the root soil. The geologist insisted that no, there are all signs that the soil is saturated. The excavator continued to dig. by
At a depth of 4 meters, the dispute was resolved in favour of the geologist - a pebble doll, made at least 40-50 years ago, was extracted to the surface.
The client was ashamed, the geologist celebrated.

[ + 38 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №58510
 12.01.2012
If my wife runs the fork, her mother comes, and if I am, her hands come out of her ass.

[ + 45 - ] Comment quote №58509
 12.01.2012
A: I love my job. This is a place where it is warm. You can quench up to 10 p.m., drink, blow or just smoke, talk, drink tea or even bury, sit in the inlet.
B: Andrei, teacher at the University...

[ + 39 - ] Comment quote №58508
 12.01.2012
XX: What should I do so that the sympathic Sisadmin comes to me and repairs it?
You have to say that you have filled the computer with beer!!! I’m going to drink beer.)

[ + 83 - ] [2 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №58507
 12.01.2012
XXX: How good it turns out not to drink at all on the NH. Only in a sober mind can come the idea of revenge, horrifying with its inhumanity and boundless cruelty.
I met the New Year, chewed the olive, went to bed early. I fell asleep! I woke up, and this is a good morning, like from a fairy tale: the sun shines, the birds sing and life is beautiful, there is a whole day to tell carnizes, lamps, put a new wire in the wall, etc... and for all this a perforator, a fucking performer is needed. I listened to it from the four sides of my apartment. Every day throughout the year!! to

[ + 42 - ] Comment quote №58506
 12.01.2012
News from 3Dnews:
Man crosses U.S. border with iPad passport
A Canadian citizen, Martin Reisch, crossed the U.S. border, presenting not a passport, as required by law, but a scanned version, stored on the tablet computer Apple iPad.

The first comment:
The owner of the Android tablet was shot by U.S. border guards on the border with Mexico. It turned out that the tablet was stored photos of about 200 kg of cocaine and scans of fake passports.

[ + 51 - ] Comment quote №58505
 12.01.2012
From hubra, discussion of spore to player

We, too, for the senior course, the boys recorded tickets to the pager. I think the operator knew Fitz. Basics of electronic technology after that are better than us))
Prepod then burned, generally on the spores he has a smell, because of the angle he sees. I took. After the exam I issued the following - said guys, I can close my eyes, and put a choir. if you tell me how you are in the Chinese alarm clock, I have the same at home, you have the same info?! to

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №58504
 12.01.2012
She: guys, write if you want to play Battlefield 3 :)
He: Come out for me!

[ + 38 - ] Comment quote №58503
 12.01.2012
Yashur: I work as a security guard at the international trade fair in Frankfurt am Main. Today, some Hindus were brought to the stand. Stand, nothing to yourself - chairs with leather blanket, two unshakable plasmas turn the advertisement of this firm. Something in the spirit: "We are a serious company! We take responsibility for the environment. Our products are of exceptionally high quality. We are a strong company with steel grip!"
Leaving the stand, the Hindus instruct me – you, greet, both look, so that nothing of our products is stolen. I’m playing OK. They are hot, just really looking at both. Believe in Kerry. Believe in Kerry. I’m playing OK. I think fucking. You make the towels. Fuck the towels!

[ + 67 - ] Comment quote №58502
 12.01.2012
Every time Kirk Douglas was notified of the need to pay a fine for driving violations, he sent a bouquet of orchids to the police officer who recorded his car’s number. The friends were very surprised and asked for explanations, to which Douglas replied:

As you know, the policeman will not leave these flowers for himself. He will give it to a woman. Well, a woman, having received such a bouquet, of course, will agree to spend the evening with a policeman. And of course, this evening will cost the policeman much more than my fine. I will be avenged...

[ + 44 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №58501
 12.01.2012
XXX: Where can the document that is wildly needed lie?
YYY: NOWU... guided by sound logic – in the closet, the desk box, the safe?
What about my logic?
So... the refrigerator? The Sorter?
You can’t guess, you can never guess, you don’t have a scanner.

[ + 28 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №58500
 12.01.2012
Young representatives of the fair sex, how blind you are! Real bad guys don’t listen to Nohanno, don’t dance hard bass, don’t wear discs, don’t break ears from tunnels and don’t go to nightclubs... Real bad guys, under the thunder sound of AC/DC from the columns, suck whiskey from their throats without sparing that spilled on their beard, real bad guys don’t wear underwear and rape schoolgirls at the bus stop, real bad guys break patterns with their behavior rather than appearance, the deeds of real bad guys are really dirty and bad. And your ideal of a man is not worth anything.
J. Madman

[ + 48 - ] Comment quote №58499
 12.01.2012
Snake: And what did you give?
Lara: a thousand me and a radio-controlled helicopter brother
I changed immediately :D

[ + 43 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №58498
 12.01.2012
xxx is. People help CTRL can't write.

[ + 67 - ] Comment quote №58497
 12.01.2012

Blondinka Ksyu: Tan, why are all of your men called Michail?
Angelo4ek: The habit of childhood is to sleep with mice.

[ + 35 - ] Comment quote №58496
 12.01.2012
Russia and U.S. condemn Uran for enriching Iran

[ + 62 - ] Comment quote №58495
 11.01.2012
A friend had a girlfriend, moved to him on a PC, and knotted him a laptop, buy and buy...In general, hit him.Well, a friend is asking her,why she has a laptop,what is said to be her stationary computer,that everything works there.To what she answered really brilliantly, "Zain, when I leave you, it will be very difficult for me to carry a stationary computer, but this laptop is pulmonary O_0"
He drove her out soon, but, milla, note did not get ^_^

[ + 47 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №58494
 11.01.2012
We are strange people with you, we eat it and drink it with basil.

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