If your smile does not raise your mood, it can definitely ruin it for others.

The suburbs of Sacramento - Rancho Cordova. A small pizzeria in a not very prosperous area. They are mainly black, Mexicans and our immigrants.
After several years and loss, the owner of the pizzeria changes. The name of the pizza and its style are also changing. The new owner is our compatriot, Armenian nationality.
After evaluating the substance of the situation, the new boss replaced the suppliers of pizza, instead of Negro - became Vietnamese, Spanish speech was heard in the kitchen, and the seller with service began to speak with a heavy Slavic accent. But this innovation did not stop. A new marketing progress was the fact that a large or average ordered pizza in the Russian language, the price of which was on average 13 backs was offered at a round price in Russia.
10 backs and two litre bottles of lemonade, instead of one.
Hearing about the new service with priced prices began to pull up and our people, who usually strictly save on everything. I also don’t lick shirts and once a week I stop picking up my wife for dinner after work pizza. After all the slides under the sweaters, pelleters, strawberries for the holidays wanted again something simple, so that the wife rested and did not cook. I arrived around 6 p.m. yesterday and ordered. As usual, I waited eight or ten minutes. At this time the owner goes out of the office with someone, speaks Armenian, saw me - on my rose is written, where I was and immediately, as in the Caucasus, greeted me in Russian, asked how life, thanked me that I appear here often and reminded me that the choice of lemonade has increased by some other varieties.
At this time, the door to the pizzeria opens from the street and a healthy two-meter frame collapses. The Negro. In one shirt. With falling pants and a bite of paper in his hand. My first thought is to swear again, not to steal. But something happened that I did not expect.
In broken Russian, this semi-divided frame pronounces, waving a piece of paper: "Private! Aden balshow pizza for the djsat backs!” It’s pretty much skiing.
I could not withstand and stumbled. Looking at me, the Armenian owner and his acquaintance struck. The Negro looked at us and nervously re-read the phrase in broken Russian. The owner of the pizzeria, continuing to rust, interrupted his attempt to stumble on the great and powerful and already said in English:
“Well, not bad to start with, as I promised, you’ll get a pizza for 10 backs. And if you can pronounce this phrase without a pencil or paper, next time you get it for free!"
This is how America learns to communicate in Russian.

It turned out that in the same language in which doctors write, suburban train drivers announce stops.

The best car for a girl

She (00:10): *ROFL* fuck you fuck me

I am (00:14:00): well?

She (00:17:25): Washing machine *ROFL* or dishwasher

I am (00:17:59): – go marry me

My phone has fallen. He fell very sadly. Now the unworking gallery has joined the stick, periodic shutdown and permanent confidence of the phone that headsets are connected to it, which does not prevent them from partly working. and artificial intelligence. This half-broken bastard is now lying on the edge of a table with no front panel, which I removed to check for anything in it, and is playing one track. The same thing, the fool. The Cranberries – Zombie. And he chooses it himself. Not randomly, but you can hear him crawling and choosing. Do I think I should be upset about this or not?

And the cat this night pulled his toy mouse in his teeth, pulled the pull and murmured. I get up in the morning, I go to the kitchen, look, and the mouse is in his bowl, next to the meat. The Predator!and :)

I walk past the children’s playground and watch a picture.
A girl, six years old, raises a stick lying next to him and a bet from the size of a boy (the same age)...
He falls roaring from the pain, the girl just stood and looked for 10 seconds, and then so phlegmatically: Van, you seem to be allergic to the sticks... >_<

Chuck Norris ordered the Big Mac at Burger King and got it!! to

A bit of female logic.

My mom came to visit me for the weekend. Naturally I decided to help home and "clean". She stayed for a few days and lived safely. The Voot. I am going to work tomorrow. I am looking for my discs with wood and axes, broke ALL suitable places. I cannot find them! I call Mom.

Where are my discs with programs?
There are cowards in the closet.
WTF and WTF!!! Why did you put them there?
Because it’s your personal stuff.

Suslichek(c)

Austrian psychiatrist and psychologist Viktor Frankl proposed to put the Statue of Responsibility on the west coast of the United States as opposed to the Statue of Liberty on the eastern coast.

What about the face?
Diez: Worked with the "Bulgarian" without protection. Half a cut.
Anja: Diez is so harsh that it is shaved by a Bulgarian.

Saving a cat from a fire, twenty-two-year-old resident of England Jacob
Adamson did not pull out of the fire two children and their grandmother.
As Jacob said, “The life of a cat is more important to me than the life of an old woman.”
Potaskuchy and future degenerates, in general, I’m booed.”

Interview with an unknown girl in chat:
I: Where do you live?
She: You can almost say that in Moscow, I have only two days to go before her.
I: And I’m in Urupinsk, it’s in northern Canada.
She is cruel!! to

X: Did you sleep today?
YYY: In general, yes
YYY: I wanted to fall longer
Yyy: but the neighbor started drilling the wall at 11:30
Yyy: and I had to roll up in horror for an entire hour until 12.30)))

by Yuri (19:07) :
I swear tonight.
I got up like this, I forgot that I was sleeping in shorts, I went to the push, I took off the shorts, I thought it was a coward, I drove by the air with my hands, I panicked, I thought the shit was stolen, then I opened my eyes, I look normal.
I am glad I did not sleep.

Oakley (19:09) :
My mom is sleeping.
by Yuri (19:09) :
and CHO?

Oakley (19:09) :
I barely kept laughing.
in the pillow.

by Yuri (19:11)
I play you.
Glad I didn’t go too far)
I would have blown up there.

by Oleg (19:13) :
Let you shut up! I can't wake up my mom! :)
by Yuri (19:15) :
Yes, you throw my indignation, chick-pindron stolen, I was scared.
Oregon Offline

"Tripping" of private taxi drivers. Taxi Driver: "If anything, say we are relatives". Oh, relatives are Uzbek, Ukrainian and Korean!

We are already a team of superheroes. It is time for us to shout at our nics. Or their best quality. Let’s say strong!
Masterstop: Well then: smart!
RG-45 is a trick!
Tagged with: Dolboeb!
Tree: Nephew of the General Director of Gazprom!

I’m sitting in the macdake preparing for the exam. A friend asks
What are you doing there?
I just read.
You better read it out loud.

XXX is
I was a technician today.)

YYYY
The role games?

the youth)

It doesn’t bother me.)

XXX is
The repair of the mole.)

I dominated over the garlic, then under the garlic)))

in different poses, Kamasutra rests, the hands hurt))))

I read to the end of the page and went to sleep.