bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 55 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №120833
 20.11.2015
A classmate told me he was 28 years old. He was taken to the state hospital for examination, a 6-year-old girl fell on her arm, a severe stroke. I looked at the photo, no cracks, no fractures, everything is okay. The girl has a birth defect. The picture shows pathology. Looking at the hand, the fingers move slightly, but the brush itself virtually does not move in a slightly curved state. The parents said that they were offered an operation, but no guarantees on the outcome were given, and they also did not have much money.



He is a young surgeon, the case is interesting for him and looking at the photo saw that he can fix it, says right in front of his eyes already in his mind scrolled the operation, where to crush how to collect, etc. He asked his parents to conduct a more detailed examination to bring the girl to him when he was in a private clinic.



In short, after several examinations and consultation with other doctors, he was already confident that he could help the girl. I met with the director of the clinic. Called the parents with the girl and told them that the operation will be done for free in the clinic for 3-5 days, but then they will need to pay for physiotherapy for the girl, because in their clinic it was not, but advised them another clinic, which will do everything for a purely symbolic fee.



The parents doubted, and asked all the time, and suddenly it will get worse and what are the guarantees:



"I will tell you honestly," said the classmate, "she will never become a pianist and a tennis player, but her hand will be straight and even be able to hold a pen and write normally.



The voice came from a girl:



Doctor, can I paint? I really want to paint.



The mother cried by pressing the girl to herself, and the father just lowered his eyes and sneezed to the doctor.



A year later, I received the most expensive gift I ever had. This girl came to my work with her parents and gave me a painting she painted specifically for me. And at the bottom of the crumbling child's handwriting with printed letters is written "Thank you doctor!"

[ + 44 - ] [2 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №120832
 20.11.2015
My mother was a strict but fair teacher. It was so strict that in the school toilet (where one in three was usually smoked) she was recognized by the heels of her heels, and after buying silent shoes she was sincerely frightened. But history is not about that.

At the end of the 90s, I sit on the last row, drawing (the kindergarten closed for quarantine, leaving with no one was). My mother is teaching in a “problematic” class. She loved to give those with the lowest performance and the worst family circumstances. The lesson passes, my mom finds me in order to take me to the dining room - and the boots are not! These are the winter shoes that have been used for a long time. Tears and silent despair.

This was noticed by the last outgoing "most problematic student". After clarifying the situation, he left. And my mom and I stayed sitting, she was in exchange shoes, and I was painted in a hug.

The call for the lesson - with a victorious look comes the same "problematic" and stretches the mother's bag... with her boots.

As it turned out, the guy in mind of his "problem" quickly calculated who, where, who and why. He ran away, took away, gave a lull on hot tracks.

Why returned? He said, “You can’t throw your beloved teacher on your grandmother.”

These are the “problematic” people.

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №120831
 20.11.2015
I go down the elevator, a taxi has already arrived at the airport and is waiting. I understand that something is wrong with the shoes - I forgot to put the stickers in them. I throw things into the car and back to the 20th floor on a slow elevator - I want to have time to run to the apartment and back until the elevator has gone so as not to stumble in waiting for the elevator.

The plan is broken by a girl standing on my floor. Okay, please wait literally 15 seconds. She agrees with a cuddly smile. I run behind the trays and hear the elevator shut down and leaving. Well, I think, how can that be. I go back to the elevator, and she stands and waits for me without the elevator.

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №120830
 20.11.2015
XXX Clamped the cell phone in a stainless steel pot, closed with a solid cover of the same stainless steel, called it - no problem, calls. Landed the pot on the water crane - it is still ringing. Greetings from GSM networks

A educated person, understanding the basic laws of physics,
The logical question is "what’s wrong with the pot?".
Marrakech will ask "strangers with physical laws".
That is all the difference.

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №120829
 20.11.2015
Piracy is the realized second part of the characteristic of communism: "From each according to his abilities, to each according to his needs." Everyone who fights piracy stands on the path of the development of society, on the path of the human being towards an ideal world. In short, the fucks!

[ + 38 - ] [2 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №120828
 20.11.2015
Zzz: Russian First Deputy Chairman of the Mufti Council Rushan Abbyazov said that video games are responsible for the spread of terrorism.

That fucking unimaginable.

I see all these poor Arab children who live in the ghetto – but when they come home in the evening, they get a new laptop with a 17-inch monitor out of the rubbish and rubbish and start playing.

Of course, Islam has nothing to do with this, no-no. The computer is all to blame.

The idiots.

[ + 20 - ] Comment quote №120827
 20.11.2015
by Sublieutenant:
About Art
British journalist and director Charlie Lin has begun raising funds needed to obtain a classification certificate for his 14-hour film, “The Captivating Paint,” reports Mashable. The sum Lynn plans to raise is six thousand pounds.

“Year after year, I’m stunned by how the British Film Classification Board (BBFC) is stifling British cinema. And everything continues in the same spirit,” Charlie Lin wrote on Twitter.

After taking a tape about white paint drying for 14 hours on a brick wall, the director faced the need to obtain a classification certificate in the BBFC, without which in the UK it is impossible to demonstrate the tape in the cinema. Board services are paid: £101.5 of the initial fee and then £7.09 for each minute of the film. Lin launched a fundraising campaign on the fundraising website Kickstarter.
— — —
I will not go to the cinema. I will wait for the DVD-RIP to come out.

[ + 34 - ] Comment quote №120826
 20.11.2015
She asked her husband, "Play with the child, I will calmly cook the soup." Closed in the kitchen. After a while I hear: “First, first, I am second! “Change the guard!” And so indefinitely long, intersecting with the hammered steps.



Then he said with a grieving voice, “Pa-a-ap, I’m usta-al! Can I sit there?” I look into the living room - the husband sleeps safely on the couch, and the three-year-old son in full ammunition (coat, helmet, gun, sword) marchs from one edge of the couch to the other and reports to himself.



I ask: What are you doing?



My dad and I are playing King of the Couch!

[ + 36 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №120825
 20.11.2015
Liked the seller, took the check, in the check her FIO, broke through social networks, liked...

[ + 32 - ] Comment quote №120824
 20.11.2015
Prep asks:

When was the Great Charter of Liberty signed? A young man in

The last one, you have a question.

I do not know.

Do you not know? Well, then answer when there was the Third Cross.

The Walk?

I do not know.

I gave these tasks on Friday. Where were you last night?

I went to the club with my friends until five in the morning.

You have the courage to stand in front of me and me about it.

to speak? How are you going to study further?

“I don’t know... I was just asked to come here to repair the battery.

[ + 21 - ] Comment quote №120823
 20.11.2015
I and my brother had a childhood friend, our and his parents communicated very well, we often visited them, and they came to us, so we can say that we communicated with families. Igor was very often visiting us, and my brother and I were always very pleased with this. After all, it meant that we would go for a walk, and he would buy all kinds of tastes: gummies, chocolates, chips and more. He naturally hosted us, and always did this free of charge, from the kindness of the soul, never was proud of this and did not feel, say, you owe me. And then it turned out that he was pulling money from our parents’ pockets and feeding us on them.

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №120822
 20.11.2015
And in general, it is easy to count someone else’s money and think about how easy it is for others to live.
Z is. It is the musicians from piracy do not suffer much - they can beat out concerts... but the concert of the game developers, or the creators of the film - it is already a surprise :)

The most funny thing is that the musicians are exactly the concerts and earn, the sales of bowls have never been profitable enough, and Metallica is the activity of torrent trackers makes the routes of tours.

[ + 37 - ] Comment quote №120821
 20.11.2015
I am on an inter-city bus. Suddenly, in the middle of the forest on the sidelines, the driver stops the bus. Passengers began to worry about how serious the breakdown was. And the driver gets a roll of toilet paper and with the words, "I hope nothing serious!" jumps out of the bus.

[ + 32 - ] Comment quote №120820
 20.11.2015
We have breakfast. Suddenly the wife asks:

Did you have access to secret information in the army?

It was.

And especially secret?

And how, of course it was.

Would you tell?

and no.

Why is? Do you not trust me?

to you? I trust, but understand, I stupidly forgot. 24 years have passed.

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №120819
 20.11.2015
Bash is the ideal forum for the Russian-speaking audience. Here you can freely express your thoughts, and the answer, objection, criticism of your words can only be read by chance. All in all, you realized yourself as an orator, brought your thoughts to the breeze, cooked your meat and went to the sunset with a sense of fulfillment and complete impunity.

Going to Sunset

[ + 45 - ] Comment quote №120818
 20.11.2015
It was in the army. I just called. Among the officers, they already knew who of the recruits was capable of what. Who is the cook, who is the mechanic, who is the gardener. So, they wake me at 2 o’clock at night.

The further dialogue:

You are an ordinary one.

I: Well I am.

Head of the motorcycle!! Go after me.



Next, I go to the capsicum, there five officers are sitting in front of the comp and on the monitor the password for the BIOS.



Look at what one of us is saying. We were by a hacker. Well, such a password known as breaking thought I, and asked if there is a screwdriver. I’m told that the guy is an army, what a...crawler. Then give it something like a screwdriver. I was given a teaspoon with a pen more or less like a screwdriver.



Next....I turn off 4 screws of the system (the body of the ATH who remembers will understand), then I forge a spoon of the BIOS battery, close it with this same spoon, then put it in place, twist the system with that same spoon. I go to bed without looking at the monitor. As you can see, the men looking at it just offanelled. Because in the movies they have seen how passwords are broken in any way, but here to break with a spoon, and in their eyes - this is the first time they have seen.

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №120817
 20.11.2015
Do you know what they do when goods become public goods? They impose a tax on everyone. You play with your piracy that states will foolishly introduce a tax on piracy from Internet providers and the price will rise once in five. And if in the West the money will go to the developers, then we have money in the wallets.
........................................................................................................
By the way, when at the router there was a discussion on this topic. Every user of the Internet should be taxed. And he had the full right to download from the torrents whatever he wanted. From the entire amount collected, the money would then be distributed according to which films, games, music, other things are downloaded.
And then the developers, musicians, film studios themselves would be interested in distributing their products from torrents.
At the expense of the wallet, yes, it will definitely be there. How about such a mentality?

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №120816
 20.11.2015
I bought a cat. The boy. The Scottish Wizard. This is the most joyful monster I’ve ever seen – it will jump, it will jump, it will swallow its legs if you push them out of the blanket. One evening they laid a telecast and stumbled upon the "Courageous Heart". So the cat sat quietly and watched the whole film without looking down. There is an opinion that the voice of the ancestors spoke in it, and it seems that it is time to sew him a kilt and google in the yandex with a discount.

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №120815
 20.11.2015
xxx: news: The owner of the spa Blinks of Bicester English village of Bisester wrote a post on Facebook that from now on her owned institution will not serve Muslims (both subjects of the kingdom and foreigners) - "I'm sorry, but it's time to think about the country."
After several complaints from the inhabitants of Bisester, the businesswoman was arrested on charges of inciting inter-ethnic riots.
Democracy in Action: We are all equal, but many are more equal. Is something wrong with you? Go sit down, shit!

[ + 20 - ] Comment quote №120814
 20.11.2015
About Cars
............
'Is there an article in the constitution that protects breastfeeding, but no article that protects shoe sellers?

If by default it is assumed that the case occurred in Russia, then the entrance to the store can not be restricted with child wheelchairs. In practice - went with a wheelchair a lot, nowhere did not refuse, only in the Volgograd Panorama polite asked to leave the wheelchair in the wardrobe, because. The building is not equipped with pandus and so on. Really, without it there was more convenient, because the passages in some halls are narrow, and the stairs are steep.
This is a museum, not a store. In Hermitage can not be on heels at all.

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