“Don’t be stressed, high tension kills.” I am talking to you as an electrician.

They could not leave the country, missed the bus, caught a flight, November, freezes, but nobody stops. Even more, two cute blondes, uncertain age, and in the cars unhappy wives do not give any chances. One seemed to slow down, but rattled and left... We were looking at another wife in a warm car. It became dull, until the track is far away, the legs are no longer bending. Here some sort of machine brakes and a cheerful woman invites us to sit down, rejoice, go down, thank you.. She says, I see, frozen girls at all, like not to drive. Once the conversation went on to a child's topic, and she told how she got married. She is 40, for 40, unclear, the nose with a button, swollen, open. Worked in a funeral office, a man buried his wife, died of cancer, went to make some papers, saw her and says - six months will pass, I will return, marry you. She laughed at herself and forgot. Six months passed, he came and... married her. They give birth to a daughter, a late child, two seem - another 8 children from the first marriage. So she tells fun, it seemed even - invented on the move. In six months, I go back with my girlfriend. We vote, the car stops and the same woman calls - sit down. Sit down, she says, I recognized you right away, but here is my husband and daughter. At the wheel, a healthy man, like a bear, was a hunter and a girl of 3 years old, cheerful, like a mother, was delighted with them.

On the morning of November 8, Hillary told Bill Clinton: "Today night the two presidents of the United States will sleep together." When she returned home at night, Bill asked, “Well, will Trump come here, or will I go to him?”

Are you communicating with Dima?
Henry: Well, a little bit of it. He was once in guests. A normal man, unless he considers that he has cockroaches.
Sapphire: and who is now without cockroaches in the head...
Henry : Aha Only in him they are real and live in the aquarium, crawling on the branches.

I walked in hoodies instead of ropes.

I bought shoes, sculpted, which because of the design features broke the ropes at once. Having changed their third pair in the season, I am confident in my stealth, came to work. When he was going to smoke, he decided to pull up his ropes. They crushed, and I had two cuts in my hands.
Loudly expressing indignation, he asked for advice from the team. Strangely enough, the department was very interested in the problem, and solutions were being put forward. Among other things, it was suggested to pull out the rope and place a number of hoodies instead.
Said is done. Sisadmin looked with suspicion, but handed out a package of hamsters. I put them in the corresponding holes, it went well: strong, and even in places stylish. So, until the end of the working day, I walked like a tough aitishnik, sometimes even forgetting that the shoes were wrapped with hoodies, not ropes.

What is it all? Thank you to my colleagues, who offered the fastest option of fixing, spending the least amount of resources and time.

When I get a catalogue of cosmetics in my hands, I think about the fate of people who give the name to the shades of lacquer and mask. All of these "ruby typhoon", "spicy pink", "brass ice cream", "mysterious fuchsia", "perfect berry", "perfect coral", "smaragd hills" and so on. and etc.

I usually imagine some glamorous opium prithon, where in eternal delusion the smoked marketers lie down and shout: “Sensitive volume!”", “plenishing duo!”", “waveling curve!”"... And next to him sits a sober clerk and carefully, pushing the tip of the tongue, records everything in a notebook.

xy: here everyone is transplanted into thin clients, they are not quite happy
xy: So about the thin clients, they are in a separate domain area, and everyone on the desktop has an outlooking orange backup of the type "like <bank_name>". And the fact that it cannot be changed adds +100 to love.

xx: and whoever will love badly, he will also flash 😉 😉

It’s not about accessibility, but about leniency. The attentive person, then poorly knowledgeable of the language, should click in the head: something is wrong here, and what is the cake here? Even without a dictionary, you can translate the "science" at the expense of context. Just lazy and uncompromising attitude, including from the customer, who is sure to save on quality translation, because the piple hats.

That is precisely what it means to save on quality translation – and it must be carried out in all the messes where translators are overwhelmed. Believe the old turtle: it is impossible to qualitatively translate more than one account page per hour (unless the topic is familiar by 146% and there are only repeats). So that "fast and good" no longer happens. In terms of "cheap and good" - on a regular basis I can work not much more than 160 hours a month. For these 160 translation sheets I have to eat, dress, pay for the apartment, pay taxes and fees. That is, for 200 rubles per sheet I just can’t afford to work (I’ll have to throw the proff and go to the cashier). Students who earn purely themselves on cigarettes, and their food and apartment are paid by their parents. Therefore "cheap and good" will also not work. So you want good translations for your startups – save money. And welcome well! We will try our best for you.

The Parental Forum

Another episode showing the degree of my Cook - yesterday in the discount store stumbled on a doll, and I just need it, and there two pieces of electricity, one some bad man broke the box and stole his hands together with the bag at the same time, the second sealed, all ok, but the eyes are curved printed, absolutely different....I suffered for a long time, dragged them both, then went to the main on the plates and so said " this hand is not, and this eye is curved. Can I cut off my hands at the curve, cling to the other and buy " I had to see her face ahaha

from ZH:

Advertising on the radio. The man’s voice says, “I’m a glued Bruce.” Then comes the female: “I am a cylindrical barrel.” I suspect they have no personal life.

Our family has five tails - a cat and a cat - one and a son - three for the past semester.

I realized I need to feed you.
I have PMS! Until you fuck, don’t get angry.

X: Well cats are something beautiful. They are worthy companions of humans, not slaves, like most domestic animals.
yyy: Cat xxx'a, please leave because of the keyboard.

In thoughtfulness, she painted the draft of the report with yellow-coloured chopsticks wrapped in a ring, and then in the rush of hooliganism in one of such circles, she attributed "Aya, Aaran Feanaro!" The revisor came, and I didn’t have time to shut up, scratched my reports and left somewhere. I sit down, I think it all, a puppy cat came. An, no - they return my papers, and there next to my appeal is attributed by someone else's handwriting: "Aya!" I sit and think a lot...

XXX: My website has been in the morning.
YYY: Of course nothing worked out because we have a frontend set up with a smart nginx?
XXX: of course not configured) and the shares started doing this
YYY: I am afraid of the day when we decide to buy a fire extinguisher.

A friend’s story, followed by his words:

It’s a good sunny day, I’m out on the street and here they hit me, you won’t believe. Local grandmothers, the same ones who sit on the bench near the house and watch everyone. It turned out that this is what a wise man dropped the garbage bag from the window and he very successfully flew through the territory, as a result of which an independent council of grandmothers came to the conclusion that it was me. A shocking response followed. You haven’t been putting rubbish for five days.

How do they know! ? to

A month ago, I worked as a teacher in a kindergarten. Today in the road truck on the machine repaired the slippery pants of a guy.

You are 6 years old. For the sake of scientific interest, I decided to check whether your head is between the seat and the back of the chair. has entered. He does not return. Mom had to call a guy with a tool to spit his back. He is coming. You are covered with a cloth so that the sparks do not hit you. The master includes an instrument that makes a very loud noise right near your ears. You think you’re being executed for putting your head in a chair. “Don’t kill me, I won’t be like that anymore.”

A bit of boredom:

Again, I am told that there is no internet. by electronic letter. Through the Internet.

Well, Dick, you have the internet, and I don’t have it at home, but there is a smartphone with mobile internet, from which I write an email that I don’t have the internet at home...

I went to the dentist yesterday. It was difficult to remove the tooth. The surgeon is a foreigner and slowly formulates sentences and selects words. Finally he said to me: If you wake up tomorrow, then a long pause like this...