In Domodedovo saw several passengers beating an aeroflot employee for a two-day flight delay.
Happy holidays, dear employees of the aircraft fleet, good luck to you and good health in the New Year!
I would like to congratulate the following staff members...

Gennady Onishchenko proposed to vaccinate children without the consent of parents

Parents offered to vaccinate Onishchenko without his consent

I love women's magazines)))) I went to the barber, to fix my hair for Christmas. While waiting for her turn, she read a magazine, a section to which readers send their letters with problems, and in the next issue they will blink advice from other readers. Letter: "Of course, my husband and I have had trouble lately. We have a one-year-old child, so I don't work, I sit with him, my mother helps me understand. My husband doesn’t like that she lives with us. He comes home at 7 o’clock, he is cooking (I honestly admit, I can’t cook, so he is always cooking), we are eating and at 9 o’clock he is already sleeping that he’s tired and wants to sleep! Very rarely I manage to persuade him to clean up - to wash the floor or the bathroom, to clean the dust. I’m looking at the child, it’s hard work too! How can I convince him to be careful with me? He works as the head of the IT department, I don’t think he’s so tired!

Calling the boss on the mobile
Why did you leave work so early? (from 17,50)
I’m on vacation because you fired me.
- And rightly dismissed, why do we need you like that, but I would like a consultant...
The curtain.

Do you know what day of the week is today?! to

c) The conscience

The medication says: do not use after successful treatment for alcohol dependence.

And what will you hear from your beloved girlfriend, taking away a cowardly cry from you: "What kind of shadows!""?? to
And this she turns out to be on TV cartoon Despero saw!

I walk down the street with a girl and tell her a story. was intrigued. I stop the story in the most interesting place.
She says: Tell me!
I : No.
She: Well tell me!
I: No, it is a secret.
She: Well tell me, please!
I: Well, you have a weak spot.
Is it the brain?

Hi to you! I am Mom. Ten years ago my son took my favorite cat and I miss him very much. I talked to a friend of my son, with whom he had been dating for a month and a half, to say that she was allergic to cats, so that my son would return it to me. Not a cat or a future girlfriend. Is it normal at all?

Inscriptions on the party:
Hi everyone, let me meet you.
Hi, let me go.
I am Anja from 6B, I am 13 years old.
I am Alexander Mikhailovich, I am 55 years old. Glad to meet you ;)

I want to...
WOW: What did you do before that? It is 12 o’clock at night.
HH: I want to...

XHH: Piers cannot trust to make ads, this is what I came across today
You have done nothing in your life, but do you like to criticize the work of others? Instead of praising a friend for the achievement, are you ready to spend hours looking at the achievement in search of the slightest inaccuracies? Do you argue with others, even if you know they are wrong, and argue until they show you the obvious, but in this case try to curl? Are you so lazy with your qualities to become the boss everyone hates? This job is for you! Companies need testers, address, and phone.

According to the results of the year, the most funny people of the runnet are recognized two people with nicknames: "xxxx" and "wow".
This is the most popular "zzz"

You definitely have the gift of hypnosis if a stranger woman lies in your bed, you stand without pants, a wife in the room, and she thinks that, in fact, nothing special has happened.

Monthly for a guy is like saving every month

I talk to a friend on Skype.
Tomorrow is the weekend in Poland. Studying in Poland for student exchange
In honor of what?
I: like that day the magicians attached themselves to Christ. Why not celebrate?
See also: AA
In Russia until the end of the week
The magicians did not leave us.

It was in the cinema. A young mom stands with a 4-year-old child near the toilet, waiting for a second older child from there.
The little one passes past a chair in the hallway, stumbles at it and declares throughout the hallway: "What goat has put this here?"
A scary scene, Mommy in horror:"Where did you get such words?and "
You have to think "You have"
Mom becomes red, begins to declare that he will not go anywhere with him anymore, you have to think with your head what you are saying, it is not good to throw such words.
Here the older child comes out of the toilet and says that his stomach hurts. She turned to the whole corridor:
"Yes, because there was not so much shit to eat!"

XX: And our neighbors from above are very wrong with the choice of the power of warm floors....so much that we now have a warm ceiling)))

The bad news to the government is the last.

Of all the "New Years", I probably remembered the best of 1985. I was ten years old, and I met my favorite party... with a qualitatively broken nose! Parents and guests were delighted, because they were aware of the circumstances of the acquisition of the basement of beauty. Not only did I not get hurt, on the contrary, I was more irritated than others. It was like...
A small explanation: in those times, children's entertainment varied only by seasons - in summer camp or village, in winter - snow and sandwiches. But! The childhood of our little old street got just a super prize in the form of an absolutely luxurious hill. No, not the mountains. A length of seventy meters, a slope of 40-45 degrees, cool? The car could pass there only in the summer in dry weather. To master skiing (at skiing there was good only to break the legs) the local little girl began to barely learn to stand on her feet without falling, so it is natural that by the age of nine to ten no one was interested in riding the formula - "one skies on one pop."
Because if you ran together, the sandwiches didn’t just drive fast, they naturally flew low.
So then. On the eve of Jolly, a salutation, a bag of candy, and other things we sit with my girlfriend Vika on the "top." We sit on sandals and try to rest.
They just flooded. Beyond it is chewing a man, already all such a fun, disposed to "shut up". Shit, you are not scared, you are scared? Not finding reciprocity, he breathed, squeezed and crumbled down the "crossside of the hill."
Usually I was the "roll" - I managed better, but this time Vika said, I am now ahead. Well we went!
The man, meanwhile, managed to catch up to the middle of the mountain, and then he was completely unexpectedly broken from one side to the other!
Right across the “sane track”! Looking only under your feet.
We stumbled in one voice. Having heard such a scream and just half a second before the collision, the man apparently lost the remnants of consideration finally: he tried to jump!
Sank's nose crushed him on his legs, crushing him like a plastic cage. He collapsed on us – his mouth down, his ass up, he barely pressed, he tightly grabbed into what turned, and... This is the “swinburger” we flew on. From the added weight, the sandwiches not only did not slow down (which is understandable - a steep slope), but also gained almost a supersonic speed. In front of us was the most interesting part - the tramway.
And then, when the pools first broke off from the surface of the earth, and then again "touched" with it, the man and grabbed his scarf in my nose. And our “flying aircraft” stopped and didn’t think...
We climbed another forty meters for the "standard finish line" and fell into the cradle - quite high, but safe in the winter, because there was snow on the ears in the literal sense. At this stage of flight, our "sandwich" collapsed into two equal parts - the man flew to the bottom of the oak, tastingly attached to the fence there and for a while silenced: apparently tried to crush into a bunch of fragments of reality. The second part of the design – Vika and I failed in a slope on the slope. Sanskrits climbed above us.
And here came the only strange moment in our view. (Yes, the child’s world perception – until this second nothing unusual we noticed!!)
The man “gathered himself in a bunch”, walked up on his feet and... first with a barrel, a barrel, slowly, and then with a horse’s halope, went down the bottom of the wreck in the direction of “where else!”
- I thought he would laugh at us like this, - expressed his astonishment Vika,
The flying boots.
- Shizik some, - I agreed, splashing snow with blood.
P.S The adult version on the subject of “why he ran away” did not seem to me at the time at least as true. Now I understand. He said, “He was frightened.”