Then the food department. Two men aged forty are slowly purchasing products to continue the banquet.
and Dresden. Please give me those tomatoes.
These ones? Here you take.
Give me more sausages.
and here. Something else?
And a pack of Malboro Light.
and UGU. All of it?
“Oh no, give me a chocolate.
This one? well well.
Now open it, please.
Oh oh oh?! to
Open it up (uncertainly).
Now go eat it (it begins to smile).
and Lenka! Drink the tea, there’s chocolate!
After a few minutes, the men are patient.
Thank you guys)
For the health. Give me a foil, please.
Sales in confusion, the line in hysteria

The first January. The morning. A friend looks at a traveler:
DASH: Hello to you! I am Dasha! What is your name?
Tagged: SaaSha
DASH: What is your name?
My friend: Saaasha! A whispering deaf.
DASH: How old are you?
Friendship : 32
DASH : Oh! Are you already big?
Suddenly, you are crazy!

One German firm put on the Belarusian factory some equipment, and, as it often happens with us, the factory was not able to pay with it money, but paid off the debt with its products - tractors... At first everyone was happy, but later the factory began to receive complaints about the new quality of plastic handles (which doors are opened from the inside), say they break instantly,- you press it and crust... Our: - And what h## you press on them, they need to be raised up... In general, they understand and ask: - Why did they do so? For safety reasons. and??? A drunk tractor driver will accidentally press his elbow and fall out of the cabin. P.S And as it turns out, our technology is the safest.

Elton John is also known as a public figure, in the fight against the AIDS epidemic, which he began in the late 1980s. c) Wikipedia

On the 1st of January, my mother said:
A strange kind of martini.
I: Mom, it’s really a cognac.
M: Here’s what I’m saying – strange martini, this is your cognac.

The C Forum:
Guys, how to make the computer almost no noise at all - the ancestors are hindering sleep?
Petya: Put a silent refrigerator or waterbrush
Max921: silent mouse and key to not click
Tanya2011: silent columns

Vitaly, just answer yes or no. Are you Jewish?
Why are you asking?

xxx: Today I was in an accident - the car jumped into me from a meeting. When I returned home, I ran over the last 400 meters, running away from a bunch of robbers who knew the notes in the contours of my bag. And, fucking, in the evening, when I was enthusiastically reading a magazine, a cat suddenly broke into the door with a loud buzz.
Behold, I was so frightened that my heart hurt at midnight.

Usually people in the morning after drinking find new numbers in the notebook. Why did I, as always, stand out and find a new phone in my pocket?and :(

Colleen: Colleen came out for the juice, in what was (shorts, t-shirts, t-shirts), the good shop nearby, nearby. He went in, bought, two men, seeing it, cried out: “The usual phenomenon in the NH.” But the point is not that I went back. Chu, crying out: "The young man!" I turn, two menta, swinging, approaching. A whispering drunk voice asks:"Why is she dressed? Documents!"-There are not them with me, I have to wear them in shorts?"Looked around, scattered in the pockets, get:"And here is our... All okay, we will go?"Ele-Ele convinced to take back. Our service is dangerous and difficult.

Q. Who is the best?
P – I don’t know
Think of it: *
P – I probably
D is right :)
P – What will it be for me?
D – What do you want?
I’t give up...
Give it to shit?
P – not
D is mine?
P – No...
D – What then?! to
I would not refuse to feed you!
D-O O

After the New Year quest: find in the sale of fresh bread.

What to fucking? I did not drink at the NH, so in the morning I was all jealous.

“It is not as terrible a bastard playing on New Year’s Eve as a bastard not playing on New Year’s Eve just to avoid becoming a bastard playing on New Year’s Eve.”
Be yourself, no matter what.

What I haven’t seen in the New Year. But four bearded bearded men in rabbit costumes jumping zigzags at 3 p.m.

Read in an MMORPG:

Choosing gender and bodybuilding, you, strangely enough, determine the gender and bodybuilding of the character.

The captain you?

Only the New Year gives us unforgettable impressions that are impossible to remember later.

Son from a walk came and immediately to the TV - cartoons for children this
All of it! I go into his room, and he stands with his hands up at the TV. Our Dialogue :
What about the hands?
– and? (Without leaving the TV)
Why did you raise your hands?
It is Mom.
Mom about it?
She took off my sweater!

The wife, at the dinner table, is very upset:
I didn’t want a rabbit but a shirt.
The husband:
It will be the year of the Norma, a Norma gift!

On television showed how Putin presented the Russian analogue of the iPhone 4G with a glonass.

The first thought: you didn’t give it to Tom!
The second thought: it's all right, Volodya still won't figure out, and Medvedev already has a real...