My mom told me today that I shouldn’t talk to you anymore xD
[4:13:22] Bart: What is it? OO
[4:14:34] Vova: She saw you write to me saying we go to the ambulance to play
My mom thinks you’re a drug addict now.
[4:15:12] Vova: because I quote: "Normal people measure and draw with a line, and with your friend clearly what is wrong, in a line he plays."
[4:15:42] Bart: You know, and she’s not right... normal people don’t really play in the line :(

I sit behind the comp, the husband approaches from behind and tightly hugging behind the neck begins to enter the word "anal" in the search for Google, seeing my rounded eyes rattled, and quickly wrote "analytics api"... )))))))

xxx: Yeah, my brain went to BSOD today.
He called the elevator, the door opened, and there was a toilet.
I stood for forty seconds and tried to get into what happened.
yyy: rghg... and not perform the script... turn out.. take off the pants and sit down? and :)

I talked to a young man. I said I wrote poems.
The Poetry? He thoughtfully extended. I do not read poetry. I only read one book in poems. "The Prince of Silver" is called.
"The Prince of Silver" I was surprised. This is prose!
- And I read in the poems, he said his own.
I understand everything, Gogol called "Dead Souls" a poem. To confuse poetry and prose?
Who is the author? I ask a little.
Tolstoy answered him.
I clarify and clarify:
Which exactly? How was he called?
and Alexander! My interlocutor answered confidently.

I see the magazine, on the cover is depicted astrolabium.
Oh you are astral! I show him a picture.
He was spending.
How did you say?
The astrology, I repeat.
What a funny word you invented!

A man with a higher education...

Turning away, luck gives you a chance to catch her tail!

decided to share. There is a cat, there is a donation from parents. There is vacation.

In the summer, my parents went on a trip, and my cat and I decided to stay in the country for a week or two.

The cat in the country for the first time, at first a little escaped from the diversity of the universe, but in the first evening brought a mouse. and live. and scared.
and unharmed. A scar on the tail, but apparently old.

Even before the domestic rats kept the love of tail rodents available.
The cat told the animal instincts to control, the mouse gave a piece of bread and let go. Everything seems to have collapsed. but.

Tomorrow evening, the cat appears with the same – seen on the tail – mouse. He gave me a little cheese, but I couldn’t. The mouse escaped.

This story repeated every night. The cat brings the same mouse, it is fed, it runs away.

Then the vacation ended, my cat and I left. I hope the mouse is fine.

Three hours of night. Suddenly a neighbor knocks on the door. I was so scared that my perforator fell out of my hand.

Heat in the office:
The guy on the first line: - "I have when the hot in my nose soppy dry, I am in my nose with vaseline butter."
Manager: "The jersey with vaseline must be sprayed! " rye
Director: - "or, depending on the goals... " *smiles

Budda (10:43:17 11/11/2011)
Do you want me to show you my black saxophone?

Holodilnik (10:43:40 11/11/2011)
I was always afraid to hear this from my colleagues at work.

In vain, I so immediately agreed to the golden rain, not even cheering what a hernia... Confusion, fucking.

Conversation by phone:
I called you yesterday, how much does Microsoft office take?
Established or not established?
is established.
900 meters minimum.
“Well, I demolished my building, there are one and a half thousand squares, come, install it.

xxx: Happiness went to the sartre, and in the push on the bottom lies flashes a handful of shayb. Either a cyborg works among us, or an idiot.

An experienced programmer reprograms your cat. Correction of the following bugs: orientation in space, clock switch, firewall on tapes and sofa.

Psyx: Well I can’t be serious with people whose perfume smells like my scent in the toilet!

MMB_Codder: it would be acceptable to have an eodoo
MMB_Codder: * it is accepted to have a village
MMB_Codder is
MMB_Codder: has been
MMB_Codder is good
MMB_Codder is
MMB_Codder: the fucking PZDC
MMB_Codder: The case
MMB_Codder is
Are you there under the geranium?

Enjoyed a comment on ZJ in the article "How to fight smoking in Australia":

Fuck, they are all idiots! If we stop drinking, smoking, eating all kinds of shit, etc., we will live 90 years. And the damned government will be forced to pay pensions to its unhealthy Maclauds citizens. Why do they need it? I do not understand.

From Habr:
They have fun in Japan. Like dancing, so are robots. As in the nuclear power plant, so people.

Hello, as a vacation, have you done all the homework?
yyy: yes, today the Titanic melted
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx? to
My wife went to work and asked me to wash the refrigerator.
yyy: pulled out all the pots, put it in the bathroom, then changed the order from small to large, so that it looked like the contour of the ship. and began to flood one by one, while crying out in different voices for help, like drowning passengers
You don’t have everything at home!• Crazy
YYY: I thought so too, but Natasha came early from work and stumbled on me as I heated the Titanic and cried. I just said I was married to a sadist.
xxx:  whatever the child is delighted
YYY: You do not understand anything! It was the most epic reconstruction in history! And notice, I poured the bathroom with hot water, so my drowned not in the North Atlantic, but somewhere in the southern latitudes and most passengers saved!
XXX is humanity.
I was promised something delicious for dinner 😉
xxx: for the saved DiCaprio?))))))
YYY: No, for the washed refrigerator, and DiCaprio's snake, according to my script, was in the nose compartment and drowned the fox first!
xxx: *ROFL* *THUMBS UP* I can’t tolerate it myself))))

In the cinema on the film Immortals, at the moment when Theseus releases 4 arrows and kills 4 enemies from the back rows, loudly and basically it was said: M-m-m-m-MONSTER KILL!! :DD

In the subway, my Nokia 3310 was embarrassed to get
xxx: there everyone with htc and iPhones sitting or reading
YYYYYYYYYYYY
Yes, it really feels like I'm dressed in the bathroom with men and I'm 1 cm tall.