When I was 14, my uncle often took me and his son to the country. He himself built a house, and sometimes they slept there in a construction wagon.

The area was quiet, some areas were abandoned.

Here we sleep at night. In my dream, I feel someone pulling my hand. I wake up, and this brother is on the floor and looks at me with wild eyes. I say, Pacha, you are the type of what? And he points my finger to keep me quiet and knocks out the window. I looked out the window and felt the blood in my veins shrink. From the window it was clearly visible that someone was looking at us from the street and terribly moving his hands. I wavered greatly. I tell my brother to wake my father. His father usually slept on the other side of the car. He said he was afraid of noise. He started whispering trying to wake his father. But he is silent. It is not visible in the dark. And then I realized that this man on the street and is my uncle, just went to smoke. He just often went out in the evening to smoke and pretend what can be done with the car driver later. And I calmly say so loudly, Pacha (brother), that he has borrowed. And then from the other end of the wagon comes the voice of the uncle: "Boys, why are you not sleeping? “”

In France, I was not sold beer at the McDonald’s at Disneyland without snacks. Strange people. I ordered eight beers and a little potato.

The xxx:

A friend from the clothes shop on the letter R said.

They were discharged one day of the seller-consultant (PK) on the results of the "Secret Buyer" (TP) check.

On the recording sent to the office, the beginning of the conversation in the store is clearly heard:

“Good morning, tell me, is this a new collection or an old one?”

Q: “What do you do, docks fashion?”



yyy: Enter a reduction to use it once and not completely? 😳

You are a perfect perfectionist?

I always teach my grandson to be a gentleman. Once we get out of the center, the grandson breaks forward, opens the door to a group of elderly ladies and screams to me, "Daddy, see, I, like a gentleman, hold the door for a bunch of old ladies!"

Sometimes an understanding of many things opens the eyes. It turns into an irreconcilable enmity.

A acquaintance told me.
Her mother is 82 years old. I went with some pain to the local therapist. She (obviously to reassure her) offers to come back in 20 years. “Are you sure I’ll find you here?” My grandmother asked her.

In Moscow will be launched an unmanned tram. But there will still be a man in the cabin to run out and break the arrows on the rails.

In Japan, some wicked criminals stole from a family couple of bonsai - a 400-year-old dwarf tree. The astonishing beauty of the plant costs about $160,000 per course. Yes, that’s how much you can earn for a well-maintained bonsai with a centuries-old history. It was planted in 1603, at this point the tree grew about a meter in height and the crown had a diameter of about 70 cm.



So, the owners of the stolen tree turned through the media to the criminals with instructions on how to properly care for the plant so that it does not die. Because in principle it does not matter in whose hands the bonsai is, the main thing is that nothing threatens him. This is very Japanese!

Stasik1501: To be honest, at 13 I also played cards for dressing, and kissed the boys and thought about dolls, made a house for Barbie and shew clothes. And I dreamed of a neighbor boy who would invite me to a movie, and a real Barbie whose arms and legs are bending. Oh, yes, I also wanted a rubber shirt and blue lotions, but I bought it)))

Dan1ss1m0: Stacy, what are you falling from the oak?

I once mentioned in a conversation that I was teaching off-site students to solve problems on probability theory, which an elderly math teacher suddenly said:



- I have one problem on this theory, I live for many years, I cannot solve it.

This task was not taken from a textbook, it was thrown into my life itself. Here is the condition: I am a non-drinking person, only on holidays I allow myself a little, and in my youth, I did not drink at all. Once a year, only for a very serious occasion. This will be considered an event for our task. The second event is my mother-in-law.



When my husband and I got married, we immediately began to live separately, but in the same city with her, so she sometimes came to visit us. I did it, frankly, not often – not more than ten times a year. Now, let us go to the task. What is the probability that the ten times I have been drunk will coincide with the arrival of the mother-in-law? Don’t bother with the calculations, I’ll tell you right away – it all coincided. Probability is equal to a unit.



A man comes once from his mother, cuddling. I ask, what is fun? He answered:

My mother thought I was an alcoholic. She asked not to ruin her life, to divorce soon. I tell her that it’s not so, and she doesn’t believe it, she says, “How can’t I come to you – she’s gone! »



We laughed together, but this was not the end of the story. The mother-in-law was upset that her son did not listen to her words, almost a year she did not come to us. And here, one day, I slept, and in the house, as it was, there were no medicines left for the cold. I decided to improve my health by a popular method: vodka with pepper. I drank and lay down, and suddenly the door was ringing. I open, there is a maid! I am none, all shaken from sleep, and I smell good for the whole apartment not gladiolios at all. The father-in-law didn’t say anything to me, but it was evident that my reputation was finally crucified.



Since then, I have ceased to worry about it. She thinks I’m an alcoholic – her problem. I will live as I lived.



I have lived there for many years, my husband and I recently celebrated a silver wedding.

He is an adult and has a family. When the bride was brought to meet, she was worried, afraid she would not like it. I was almost as afraid that my mother-in-law would take me for an alcoholic. Now my sister and I live soul in soul. She thinks her son is lucky with me. Life put everything in its place. The theory of probability has nothing to do with it.

A acquaintance told me.

Her mother is 82 years old. I went with some pain to the local therapist. She (obviously to reassure her) offers to come back in 20 years. “Are you sure I’ll find you here?” My grandmother asked her.

I have a friend, Oliver, a German professor at the University of Aachen.

Fifteen years ago we worked together in the same laboratory.



Once after lunch, I served him a Russian chocolate candy "Mishka Kosolapyi".

Oliver ate a candy and cried out:

It is incomprehensible! Such sweets are simply impossible in Germany!

So so delicious? I asked polished.

No, fantasy requires three different waste baskets: foil, paper, and calc.

Fear that someone else will pick, causes a woman feeling 100 times stronger than jealousy.

Why did you cry during sex?
I had a terrible dream...

McDonald's feedback from the German: The staff is very friendly, the food is also cool, but the parking spaces are a little more than the average in Europe. According to EuroNorms, there should be a minimum of 2.75 meters, but in this McDonald’s, unfortunately, according to my measurements, the width of the parking lot is only 2.60 meters. I only rated it at 1 star.

The golden rule: if you are thinking about bluffing or not - bluff!

It works and if you feel that you have overdrunk, and you think, rather than cheat, that it would be easier, and when poisoned with food, but not to such a stage that the body does not ask you anymore.

If you have this idea in your head, you have to go crazy. Of the pros: 1. you can still get to the place (say, the toilet), and then you may not have time 2. you will immediately become easier: alcohol and what annoys you will not be further dissolved in you. It will only be worse.

As soon as you think to bluff or not - bluff!

yyy: plus a small lifehack – when you swallow, press your nose with your fingers. This will relieve unpleasant sensations in the nasopharynx after the process.

XX: Where have you been before?( by

YYY: For some reason, few people know about it. Several people have admitted to me that they remember me with warmth after they have been flogged.

told a acquaintance. They decided to legalize the relationship with their boyfriend. Both under thirty, second marriage, generally not pioneers. She is an absolutely urban lady, the "child of the asphalt", he is from the Altai village, learned, his parents live there. After ZAGS, they sat with friends in the cafe and in the morning with their parents to the village. Well, there - the village is a village, a mountain with all the consequences. Following her words. I woke up in the morning with the head in the mouth. I went out in the garden - spring, sun, beauty. A bed with a young hoodie, just to my condition. I sat down on the curtains, squeezing slowly. A mother-in-law goes out, smokes, and thinks about something. I am him:

The snack is delicious, I love it.

He looked at me, pulling a cigarette out of his mouth:

- Ukrop I love myself, but tell me, do you eat a carrot bowl?

Zelensky is president. If he does not manage, he will laugh.

Without a preamble.

And someone tried in a professional forum, where specialists gathered who ate a dozen dogs in this profession, to ask a simple question on the topic of the forum?
For example, in a forum of electricians ask: "How to measure the current passing through a pocket lamp connected to a KBS battery?"

The first answer will be: "There are no telephones in the forum, tell the lamp and battery parameters."
The second: “Well, you are a fool. Who connects a 300-ma lamp to a 100-match battery?”
Third: “You can’t measure the current because the resistance of the bulb is nonlinear and depends on the voltage.”
The fourth: Google helps you. Do you know how to use search engines? Go to a professional forum, distract people.”
Fifth: "It is impossible to measure the current received from the battery. The battery is consumed in the process of burning the lamp and unambiguous indicators will not work."
Sixth: "Specify where the device described will be used? If on the laboratory table - it is one thing, and if in an aggressive environment, it is quite another."
Seventh: “Where did you find the “lights from the pocket light”? What is this device? LEDs are now used in lamps. Don’t confuse it with your finger.”
Eighth: "What length of wire do you use and what section?"
9 “Have you not been to school? So take a textbook for 9th grade and read it on page 47.
The tenth... and the following will explain to you all the aspects of the problem, from the battery device to the Masonic conspiracy to produce low-life bulbs, and you will be given all the psychiatric diagnoses from idiotism to schizophrenia.

And only if you are very lucky, then on the twenty-fifth page of the discussion someone will answer that you need to turn an ampere into the gap of one wire between the battery and the bulb.

Business owners note: if you are already hiring a woman as a HR manager, then at least get married! Married, not divorced three times. Otherwise, the nonsense turns out: she can't pick up a husband, and you seriously want her to pick up staff for you in the company.