Sometimes there is such an inappropriate companion in the train that it seems like you are driving in different directions with him.

Meeting a good companion is great luck. This, at least, saves on subsequent visits to a psychologist.

I often travel by train. I try to reduce the risks and buy SV. Yes, cheap, but look above on saving on a psychologist. The tactic is not perfect, of course. In a classic four-seater coupe, there is a chance that you will at least be differentiated. One by one, like in a cage. If two hamsters meet, then okay. What about two tigers?

I recently discussed this topic quite in detail with my next companion in the Coupé SV.

The first part of the journey we tactically silenced with him. He looked out the window, I was in the mirror at the door. When we realized that we were not a threat to each other, we separated.

This guy was my alter ego. He approached the issues of joint travel no less sensitively than I did.

The assistant complained about various "inadequates", as he himself called them, repeatedly hit him in the trains.

One breaks down the chicken, not looking at the neighbor, with the enthusiasm of Jack the Destroyer. The other is with a glass. The third endlessly taroters on the mobile phone, so by the end of the trip you know more about him than his own wife. And the fourth stands over you at night, sleeping and watching.

The last example from his story interested me. I asked the attendant to share the details.

“You know,” he told me, “I once drove in a SUV with a man, like you do now. In appearance normal like a man, cockroaches do not run on the head. We went to sleep. In the middle of the night, I open my eyes – and he stands over me and looks. He looks straight in the face. Do you imagine? Like a giraffe.”

Of course I presented. I immediately became uncomfortable. I even rushed and supported the companion in his noble anger. How many freaks in the world, you should.

We talked with the companion about this, without a broken chicken and a glass, and, pleased with each other, went to bed.

In the middle of the night I suddenly woke up. I opened my eyes.

Buy it trembled. The curtains and walls were on the sidewalk. The glasses jumped out of metal glasses.

My companion snorted so that the blood was sprinkling in the veins. It seemed that with its snoring it pulled space and time into itself, like a black hole.

Suddenly, the companion took the highest note in the night, strangely shrugged, and it was as if something had broken up inside him. and all. There was complete silence.

I lay down for a few seconds until I began to sweat out of fear.

There are so many different fascinating stories about breathing disorders and death in sleep. I, as a well-deserved hypocondric of all Russia, knew all about this from reliable sources, from anonymous people on the Internet.

I stood up and cautiously, on chickens, approached the neighbor. In the dark, I did not find my glasses on the table. I bowed to the companion to look him in the face.

And when I finally saw that the companion’s eyes were safely closed, he safely opened them.

“Oh! “He said another bad word, Matt.

I went back under my blanket and hid.

The driver turned a little, and after some time the rescue whisper came from the side again.

I lay down and thought that he wasn’t such a fric, that man from the history of my companion. He also probably wanted to save a human life.

Xxx: I have such a friend, she is 30 true, and I don't know how she got sick, but buying a hard for a laptop she has been discussing with me for a year), she earns not badly, for this time she has 3 PC guru, reinstalled the system, but it starts once. I have thrown her closets for 4k sharp terabytes, expensive, well here is 500 GB 2600, her reviews are not very, well take the SSD on 256 and the old disk in the container, her 256 is little 😪. And with cyclicity two calls a week again, will it go? I say no 3.5 inches does not fit into the letter a-a-a 😆😆. I will soon buy it myself.

Yyy: Something tells me that your friend does not need a hard drive, but something else, but also hard.

The best story from my childhood....I was 7 years old, we in the garden grew roasted pearls (those in the form of a letter v) and my father decided to climb.Naturally as this and it is the strength to get up enough, and vice versa - no, sits on top of the caviar and asks me to bring the staircase, well I as a decent peasant, I followed her, then I decided to visit the best friend and call to play in the console now or dendi it doesn't matter, I clearly agreed.

It was 3 hours of play and here I remember, his mother, the ladder, I’m running home. Scream from the garden:

Did I give birth to him?! to

As a result, my father spent 3.5 hours on pears, and I then lived with my grandmother for 2 weeks.

I went to Ikea with my wife on Saturday.

Lots of people on weekends.

So what, at home?

Yes, you only have to go to the toilet.

Go to parking.

Why is the line in the women’s toilet always like this? How long did you wait for me?

I: A minute of ten.

Why do men go to the toilet faster?

I: Per because every woman in the queue, locked in the cabin, thinks, “Let these dolls wait until I slowly and relentlessly do my business!” Probably that is why.

Wife: (thinking for a moment) But I think so when I enter the cabin...

On YouTube, the film “Moscow does not believe in tears” is split into two files. in the series. They are made, of course, in one day.

And the first series has 8 500 000 views, and the second - 5 500 000.



That is, somewhere there are three million people who are like, ‘Ah, clearly, understandably. The grandmother gave birth in the dormitory and went to bed. A normal movie.”

I once installed an MPU (printer, copier, scanner...) in one office.

A boy of twelve years runs from the threshold to his aunt-secretary:

and grandmother! I got a fifth in English today. Will you buy me a plan for that?

and Grandma:

of course. After work we go shopping.



Something was offensive...

I go out and call my mom:

-Mom, here the boy bought a tablet for the current fifth in school. What do I need for red diplomas and candidate degrees?

Lack of backbone!

Recently, I heard from a friend a story that always, when I remember her, raises my mood, and something inside me is disgusting. At the age of 40, his father had encephalitis, which, unfortunately, significantly affected his mental abilities and adequacy in general. The family did not leave him in trouble, they are cared for and are not allowed to shut up in themselves, all relatives and friends treat his outings with humor and even gathered a peculiar collection of his pearls. There was a signal from aliens caught in the yard with a foil device and turned on gas in the apartment, which is not so fun. Since you can't say immediately about him that something is wrong with him, some dishonest personalities sometimes used, as they seemed, the "sickness" of a simple man. Mostly sellers or advertisers. Often unnecessary services were stunned, for example, replacing the seal in all frames in windows for 14,000 according to the infamous pensioner divorce scheme. Recently there was revenge. As they say, instantaneous karma, and suffering guys, I understand, will be for all of their predecessors.

In fact, the story itself: Grandfather came to the cellular communication salon, which exactly office - not even specified, because she was pressured by laughter - and stated that he needed a smartphone. The sellers drove him a Samsung Galaxy somewhere there for 12,000, to him a chick and, attention! VIP client service separately for 7 000 total. What gives this upgrade-our grandfather can at least every day come to them in the salon and without a turn with a personal manager all day to find out how to use the smartphone and the services of the operator. The VIP client. And our grandfather terribly loves to find out everything, unbelievably sluggish and periodically gliding into philosophical reasoning about politics and history, as well as about his personal life and his whole family. Well you already understood that neither wife nor daughter did not even go to understand, why obviously a sick person (this can be seen in close communication) coupled this service, now it is for them something like an attraction for grandfather, you can not worry where he went again and what busy-everyone knows that he is there clarifies at 3 hours in a row)))) But the whole family is very zealous to ensure that employees in any case do not refuse the VIP client in proper service)))

If we don’t want to go all the time on the robberies, we have to take the villas sometimes.

I live in a private house, 2 floors (this is important).
I’m having a birthday and I’m constantly calling for congratulations. He went up to the 2nd floor and left his phone there. In the kitchen all in the process of cooking, cooking, roasting. The cat is sitting on the stairs, watching me. Suddenly I hear her whisper, not just a whisper, but a real whisper. I look, she sits quietly and just roar, I approach her and I hear the phone call. That’s how she warned me of a call I didn’t hear.
They understand everything, but sometimes we can’t understand them.

And what if the men who walk around the city in camouflage shape, just hunt for the lady in leopard loins?

We sat yesterday with our daughter in the lobby of a small private medical center, waiting for our mother. The foyer plays the role of a reception room, there is a reception with a check-in and sofas, on which other waiters are located, among which a married couple, I thought, aged between 40 and 50 about. For a few minutes they sat down and talked quietly, after which the lady got up and approached the reception, where there was a woman working in the registry, a procedural nurse and a doctor. A visitor speaks to all three:

Sorry please. I got drunk yesterday, can you help?

The doctor looked at her over her glasses:

Of course bring it.

The visitor, sadly laying his hands on the reception and laying his head on them:

This is I...

The mood of the people in the room improved noticeably, especially the husband of the visitor.

Do you want a capsule? Asked the nurse.

Yes if you can.

Go to))

Second class, English language Teached as it did. In the first class, the letters were taught, they did not learn. In the second, you must be able to read. Someone leads children to teachers, someone flegmatically hits children's problems, and someone discusses teachers and the curriculum with the unchanged "but in our time...". We also practice at home extra because the information received in the lessons is not especially absorbed.

Reading and translating dialogue. The current rules of reading are learned, the words are learned, the necessary verbs are kicked off from the teeth. He reads quickly, confidently and consciously. In class, the teacher calls to read, the daughter reads, translates. D is a daughter, A is a teacher.

Sit down, you are four!

I read and translated everything correctly.

I asked you, not you raised your hand.

In the 3rd grade, the son prepared a report on precious stones for a school scientific conference. I went online and searched for information. He described what stones are mined where, in what way. How are used. I got into such debris that I had to persuade to simplify to make it clearer.

At the end of the conference, the jury considered that he himself could not do such work. A good leader (who has authority in the school) fought for him. She said that if you ask him questions, he will answer everything. did not help.

Fortunately, the son was not upset because he was not ambitious. I was upset because I knew he had done all the work himself.

If there are comedians in politics, the country is not humorous.

I have a friend, Vivi.
Vitya was born and raised in Chita. Then he entered the Institute in Leningrad.
He emigrated to Israel, and from Israel to Toronto, Canada. I signed a contract in San Francisco.

He went to the Pacific Ocean and said:
“There is nowhere else to go. Continue to read!”

Friedrich Nietzsche stands at the shelf and thinks, "What half of the shelf to take: the front or the rear? It seems like you want to identify the act of eating bird meat with the birth of the world, with the beginning of something beautiful, and on the other hand, there are delicious legs in the back, although it is sunset and eclipse. Or maybe cut it off?”

The confused scientist was noticed by the seller and rushed to ask what he was thinking. Nietzsche shared his trouble, and the seller replied:

Your theory is slim. It reflects the objective reality and is consistent with the contemporary views of philosophers, but the true essence of the universe is that we don’t sell the half-solders.

On the corporate after the ninth bottle of champagne, a 20-year-old employee with a sad look:

I was disappointed at 13 years old. One person caused me so much pain that I wanted to close my eyes and never open them again.

Her girlfriend is about the same age:

I had something similar at that age. After that I could not trust anyone for a long time. Until the very graduation class, I did not allow guys to come to me, because the fear of betrayal forced me to shut up from everyone.

I am :

And at the age of 13, I put my hands on a flush plate to hit my younger brother in the ear with static electricity and shouted, "Pica-pica, fuck! »

Apparently, the tales of Nosov and the works of Lenin will soon be banned.

The Sevastopol Bike. 1 part.

Don't get married girls
For the Marines
The sailors are standing.
on the rocky shores.”

I searched the internet in search of this stuff. not found. What is strange: in Sevast during my childhood, every dog knew it.
The USSR. The 70s.
A group of sailing sailors are given a "Dembel accord": to complete the shore for the "strongevics". Which the builders cannot afford.
It is understandable: the builders are not in danger, they will be at home when they want, and not as the commander will release.
The task, as it is in the fleet, is simple: there are no building materials, no tools, no drawings (and would anyone know how to read them?) No qualifying, but in two weeks it will be ready!
The shipwrecker in the fleet is the greatest specialist in mining anything. You just have to motivate him properly.
And here they gathered all the colour of the Sevastopol hauptwacht. Compounds of society. Legends of the Navy.
The disadvantaged got exhausted, distributed duties and took up the business.
Three days later, there was everything on the building – cement, bricks, boards, paint, and even cranes. That is cover.
Much later, in the spring, some, especially foolish, fleet officers stumbled without finding their dachas in the usual place.
As the song sang, "On the deck came out, and the deck is not."
Like a cow’s tongue.
Also missing tires with cars of responsible employees of the Admiralty (see). “The Cranes”)

But the main problem was the armor. It just had nowhere to take.
Her brother scratched her tails, shrugged her brains and remembered the Ship Cemetery. From the big letter. At the time it was a whole city. There was everything. Literally everything. If you can search. The sailors were able to search and a day later there was a huge pile of rust iron on the construction site, suitable for the role of armor.
Among this debris, the Chekhov rifle rolled a fateful screw with a diameter of almost half a meter.
Which in a hurry was caught so that he was washing out over the line of the bridge.

Two weeks later, the shore was completed, painted and presented to a slightly upset chief.

The commander wiped out the eyes, wiped the butt-mirage did not disappear. Then uncertainly, with fear, he entered the new building. The speech endured. I dared, the most desperate cap- once jumped. The commission froze. But the creation of the naval genius stood indestructible.
The commission joyfully jumped on the floor. Then came the injection.
Finally!
Prical, from the long-building of which the Chief of the Fleet broke them, was destroyed! Hurra comrades! “There are no fortresses that the Bolsheviks could not take.”
Looking beyond the end of the mind was not enough for anyone.

The Negodyas, built nearby, were declared heroes, grabbed with their hands, hugged paternally and sent home.

Sharding to the native pierce from the full run is a great applied art. The Navy Chick. The captain of the guard of the exile, skillfully, stamped the ship to the new wall.
The hustle of the diesel hid the sound from the steamed cover.
A large device was announced upon arrival. The ship departed from Baku to Utah. Botzman goes through the compartments to check the cleanliness.
And he will look at what he sees.
In one of the rooms, he discovers an obvious mess: a huge rusted screw coming out of the curtain.
There is a violation of all the unshakable foundations of the fleet! If there is a screw, then it should be with a gauge, a swing and a contractor! Little that must be painted with a statute ball paint!
Botzman gives the task to two sensible years (tm) - to eliminate the shame.
The thinking of the gods on the fleet is a thing unified. Within an hour, both searchers find themselves on a treacherous shipwreck.
And then find the desired half-meter diameter hooks!
By the evening, the disadvantage is eliminated: the hooks are turned on the screw and the entire structure is beautifully painted. Botzman admired the composition, humbled by the soul and announced the years of removal from them previously imposed penalties.

It is time to go to the sea. The ship rotates with screws - and from no place. That is how it happens - the Ahtyar Bay is filled with winds, sometimes the ships climb deadly.
It is known as a boiler.
They drive the most powerful one that the helicopter carriers pull. He is attached to the guard with ropes. Butterfly, crumbling, not pulling, not from the place. Strong, to see, to climb.
The captain of the towner decides to tear off the damned curtain "from the river". It speeds up, choosing the slope of the ropes and...
A wild thunder is spread, the guard breaks off from the anchor wall together with the entire scull and immediately lies on the ground.
This is yes! “The commander said five centimeters from the pier. Let me die!
And immediately with his forehead he broke the glass, flew through it and flew to breathe. The crew flew like crows.
Thirsty rats flew to the deck. The strangest thing is that they are all alive. This is how we are lazy, contrary to courage.
The freshly painted screw shone beautifully in the sun.
It is as if you were shameless, because you will not be shamed. What to report to Moscow? That a combat ship of the USSR Navy was sinking as a result of wrapping it to the shore?

Vladimir Putin said that the destruction of sanctions products supports Russian agriculture and develops the country’s economy. I strongly support our President. I also demand to crush the Mercedes of officials for the development of the local automotive industry and to melt the yachts of oligarchs for the restoration of the domestic shipbuilding. Then our country is facing a real economic breakthrough.