bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №145674
 18.10.2017
Technological elements are considered to be elements that relate exclusively to the manufacturing process. in the mushroom, for example.

I would regret the girls who have no one to look at, so to speak, for curiosity! I would say a puppet...

[ + 37 - ] Comment quote №145673
 18.10.2017
And here are those who look at 20+ cartoons - these really don't deserve if not life at all, then at least sexual life.

In general, no life is deserved by those who think they have the right to decide what others deserve. Well, people look at cartoons, well, they like it, although it's a bit strange - you fuck it? You’re being paid a cut for every cartoon you watch, right?

[ + 34 - ] Comment quote №145672
 18.10.2017
I went back yesterday to bring the lever (right-left) back to the store.
The goods were ordered, asked for the original to bring, fully paid, ordered not me.

- Here, back to you, your wonderful spare parts, here is the check.
We do not accept spare parts that are ordered back.
- you brought smoothies, they are different producers, different kinds!
There was no single producer.
This is not the original!
It’s similar, all take such, everything works perfectly!
- but they are different, this ball is roughly boiled, and this hole under the screw in the salent block under the screw of a larger diameter!
- no less, it will be stuck and it will work, put it, everything will be okay.
I cannot put them!
Why is?? to
They are both right!
They count the money.

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №145671
 18.10.2017
xxx> is a matter of fact. This page is to be filled.)
yyy> Write everywhere "error in database"
yyy> I always do this when there is no desire to fill the infinite "describe yourself in more detail, and tell what hobbies you have had throughout your life"
yyy> Then the check and passes without problems, and the rest of the users can see that it is just swallowing the base on the site.

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №145670
 18.10.2017
XHH: The Swallow Tester
XHHH: Painted on the door of the cabinet a sign "Government Department" ((

[ + 28 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №145669
 18.10.2017
It’s a classic of robotics – it’s easy to make a robot flying to Mars and it’s hard to make a robot running to a neighboring bar for beer.

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №145668
 18.10.2017
Here you are talking about admin, and I don’t even know how he looks in our office. We all work well, and if something is wrong, then the application is thrown away and he remotely corrects it. They say once I came to change the cartridge, but I was on vacation.

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №145667
 18.10.2017
The employee walks around the office, tells about life, passing by the boss clarifies when there will be a meeting. The manager said in 10 minutes.
“Well, I’ll have time to go to the laundry room,” the employee said.
And continues to walk around the room continuing the earlier conversation about the fact that he was diagnosed with schizophrenia in his youth and was not taken into the army.
Then he sits down and continues to work.
The boss asks:
You’re going to the bathroom, why don’t you go?
Another person was gathering.

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №145666
 18.10.2017
Our dad today filina caught that from the zoo in May (!) has flown. The bird lived for a long time on the wild in the zoo itself, hunting waterflies. Then she moved to the neighboring residential building from five floors, and in the autumn moved to the square at her husband's work. In the morning, the bird was noticed by the husband’s boss. On the way to the zoo, they said, “Our! The chief decided that such a little thing, like catching a phyllin, our father is exactly in his power - somehow he is managed with seven children! The husband, having heard the order, went to work, removed someone's coat from the hanging there (well, it lived there, long since separated from the direct owner) and called a colleague with a car.
It is known that the phyllin sees poorly during the day, so the bird is not very tense, although it has struck on the crust of the gravian trail. I was more surprised by the people walking around. The husband just crossed the fence and threw a woman's coat on a stranger!
So, with a blue cloth, my husband and a colleague arrived at the zoo. There, of course, they were very surprised to see instead of the long-awaited runner-up a dull clutter of blue color. But the husband asked him to believe his word and was placed in a cage. There, he opened his arms along with his coat and the walker hanged down his head, clinging to his legs with huge nails over the mattress. I was delicately shocked! Well, everyone, of course, was surprised by this way of catching wild birds. They hunted her with a net, from which she with her powerful wings and nails chose.

[ + 20 - ] Comment quote №145665
 18.10.2017
Isn’t it because men simply live less and, in general, in dying wives, their husbands are simply dead?! to

Most women with breast cancer have their husbands dying.

[ + 32 - ] Comment quote №145664
 18.10.2017
A loud voice in the bell:
I want to offer you an additional source of income. How do you feel about profit?
I am normal. Only if you want to offer me a stock market, forex or binary options, then thank you.
The cryptocurrency!
Well, let’s say, I was interested.
Do you know what a cryptocurrency is?
I know.
Tell me, what is a cryptocurrency?
Cryptocurrency is a peer-to-peer payment system.
Achahaha, Peer-to-Peer Payment System, Ahahaha /Gudki

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №145663
 18.10.2017
Today at work is a double holiday: the boss went to the attestation station and took a trade commission with him, who loves to knock on everyone. As someone noticed "Sauron left and took his eye with him"

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №145662
 17.10.2017
It’s okay to hide Onegina, he’s a decent honest man. How many men, becoming the object of the exhilaration of the naïve fantasy-sophora from the province, completely sympathetic to him on the outside, will not use this to take advantage of, and then, "Okay, she wanted, not my problems at all, but will warn her from such notes and meetings under the moon, precisely because not all men are decent, not every one of you, like me, will understand? It is necessary to understand that on the part of the young Danetka, Pushkin describes not the great Lovef at all, but the romantic fantasies of a teenager who has read French lyrics, who the image of Onegin (dumb because other interesting men did not come to their Zhopinsk) sprinkled on his imaginary martishucho and fell in love with this entirely fictional image.

[ + 37 - ] [2 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №145661
 17.10.2017
I don’t need a car or rights.
I’m just lucky, I work at two stops from home. Do not give.
A friend once said: a car is needed either to give or to feed. Others honestly admitted that they simply hate public transport and are willing to spend anything.
I hate public transportation. In winter, you have to be patient; at other times, the bicycle saves.
There is no wild hole in the budget. I don’t need to master the ability to instantly estimate the possible damage in the DTP and make a decision whether to leave (while how much to give or take) or call out. These are separate subjects, no matter how they are called. And there is no need to tell the fairy tales that a careful driver drives without a DP. Anyone can enter at any time.
Inadequates on the road - by the idea, as many as in life, but only on the road you meet them many times more often. Do I need it?
Thanks to me, one psycho on the road less - say thank you.

[ + 42 - ] Comment quote №145660
 17.10.2017
- Madam, go to the safe zone and take the boy with you! You cannot be near this machine.

I am a client! My son wants to see how you will wear the tires on the wheel!

It is unsafe...

Stop shaking your tongue, and better take the job!

I warned you...

It gives pressure. The fucking! The remnants of dirt with the remnants of water splashes fly into the client and her spinoff.

- A-A, your mother, are you going to chew? ! to and

I have warned you...

[ + 37 - ] Comment quote №145659
 17.10.2017
Worked in the factory as a CNC machine operator. Worked about a week. Then my wife goes to me:

Why are you walking like an idiot?

The meaning?

Hands behind the back constantly.



really is. I walk with my hands behind my back. I stand with my hands behind my back. I have not noticed this before.

For about a week, my wife struck me, though, I was watching my hands as much as I could.

Enlightenment came to work. The machine according to the program drills and freezes the detail. I stand next to you, naturally, hands behind my back. I look at the other men in the shop, the same. Safety technology in action.

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №145658
 17.10.2017
"Scientists named the main conditions of successful sex"

The inventor of the dishwasher has done more for Sex than all the sex shops combined.

Zzz: British scientists have found that laboratory mice in captivity would have reproduced much faster...if they had not been disturbed by British scientists.

[ + 31 - ] Comment quote №145657
 17.10.2017
We have a strange admin, he reads anecdotes for 2005, he rhetorizes and puts down with the voice "Bayan".

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №145656
 17.10.2017
Vasich: The boss is, well, you have a new system to buy.
Vasich: in order for the video card to be more helpful, the documents in full HD sort.

[ + 37 - ] Comment quote №145655
 17.10.2017
and practical:

When my friend bought a dear kitten, she went from work to feed him, not counting the mandatory trip to lunch...expensive food, constant wounds and visits to the veterinarian, treatment, enzymes, hormones, antibiotics, vaccines...Not all children receive such care as this crazy animal! I wanted to advise her to have a man - the problems are the same, but even if the salary will bring...

A little creature, a cat child is sick, he is sick. What’s terrible about the housewife taking care of him and treating him? Believe me, for sick children, parents take care of no less, and healthy excess chickens and wings are not needed.
Z is. There are children, and cats too.

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