bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №105274
 10.11.2014
Listening to a conversation between two grandmothers:

Locked up in a room and hanging on the guitar all day.
- right to say "Trenchment"
Oh yeah yes

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №105273
 10.11.2014
What if he was with her as she was with him? “Lapuna, I’m wrapped up, and it’s not hard for you, run to the farm. Take a pack of self-cutting clamps, but not mahogany, but brown; take the double clamps number 14-15, a pack. Another five-millimeter drill on the barrel, packing clamps number 3, a little V-shaped attachments for the M8 facade with a gauge, a toothbrush with a protector, 225 mm. Do not forget 225! and all. A, yeah, and non-stringing headsets of any kind"

Tatiana N. Tolstoy

Go to "Claymer" The rest is understandable.
And the cabbage too.
Here I can not buy cosmetics, my knowledge is limited to waterproof and non-waterproof towel and the way to choose a mask in the tone of the lips. and Oops:
But let’s ask honestly: do I need it?

ZZZ: I don’t remember what my husband bought.
I come, there are such cool specialists, type.
And I, with a paper.
So yes, this set of letters makes no sense to me, but I was asked to ask you the question: HZNoNoNo and HZ NoNoNo you have? and :-)

[ + 24 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №105272
 10.11.2014
The gepard has round circles and the leopard has quadric circles.

[ + 21 - ] Comment quote №105271
 10.11.2014
Interview with an IT company
What is a Trojan?
The Armenian name.

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №105270
 10.11.2014
Vazzelin3
This instruction is useless now. But he started supporting Russian. Five years ago, it’t be too much.

Josh Smith
by Vaszelin
If you were using fiber optics, there would be no theft. The same Apple.

Zazapiska6
Josh Smith,
Is it optical?

by Axel824
Josh Smith,
What about Apple?

by PDAtor2584
Josh Smith,
Is there theft?

mobile1
Josh Smith,
Are we here?

nchbogenz0
Cap was shot.

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №105269
 10.11.2014
In Moscow from a store stolen jewelry worth 10 million rubles

In fact, the stolen - Chinese jewelry, a maximum of a thousand rubles.

This is Moscow. Paphos is important.

[ + 22 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №105268
 10.11.2014
The country will not forget, and the state will not even remember.

[ + 58 - ] Comment quote №105267
 10.11.2014
How legends are born.
“Some people are ashamed to steal in the army. Do not be ashamed. to steal.”
and Pokrovsky.

Theft in the army is an ancient, respected and consecrated occupation.Indeed, theft is called only when catching a hand (japa).
Where did I get?
I was born!
I declare gratitude!
Glad to try! That is, I serve the Soviet Union!
As the saying goes: "In the army they do not cheat, in the army they cheat"As it turned out, that in the company I held the honorary position of chief. I was appointed to her by questionnaire data. The Jew? You have to be able to do anything! To my faint objections, that on the citizen only on the bacon passed attention was not paid. Types of difficulty. and not mistaken. I justified trust. By the end of the service, I imagined myself as a finite criminal. Theft of time. A respected man.
He could destroy anything. Even the flag part.
A rush in favor of the company changed me for dismissal. That is, in the civic, the robbers are deprived of liberty, in the army, on the contrary, they are allowed to walk.
I wandered around the area for a week until I found a headless truck on a nearby base. The drunk guard was brought into the astral with a bottle of vodka, pre-changed for nonsense. He would not give me for the bubble.The cone was somewhat alarmed, but the guard told me that the cage had broken the chain and had been burning somewhere for a week with bodies.
As soon as the guard cut off, I started to turn-off, stealing, looking at the sides. A slightly lifted and desirable dismissal in the hands.
Heavy and fucking.
and oh.
At thirty meters, a Caucasian prostitute was torn by a chain.
I came back from the blade, if not on time. I was saved by the fact that the Caucasus initially did not believe in its luck. Sexual abuse, as is known, has a detrimental effect on mental abilities and distracts attention.Seconds three he watched the composition "Flagrante delicto".
Then he went to fulfill his direct duties. and late. In those moments I learned to fly. literally. I don’t remember how I walked over a truck’s edge and jumped over the MTS landfill.
The rugged sharp glands served as tramps for me, and in 5 seconds I flew through the fence.
When I recovered, I discovered that the TNVD did not let go. is beautiful.
Went back and overcame such a bunch (8 meters high)? The racing? In a second? With TNTs in the legs? Is it how?
Beyond the mountain of metallurgy the Caucasus was furious. There were notes of respect in his mouth.
It is time and honor to know. Oh well Bella! He turned his leg when he fell. easily escaped. Snooping from pain, I stumbled into position.
The next day my leg swelled and bleaked. by Ms. Not for dismissal exactly. Time for the medical center.

Medical services are a separate topic. There and body spots is an attempt to get rid of the service. But then, to my surprise, I stumbled onto the forbidden service. Three fields jumped around my limbs.
and E? What about panic? Does it smell of amputation?
and no. You are not here. We were killed yesterday with terrible force. There was one sack here, all complained on the stomach. Simulations through one.
and?
Simulated, fucking to peritonitis. He was barely discharged in the hospital. Well, we put a pistol from the earth to the sky.So this is like a sparkle.Yes, I would make you a iodine grid and send you a nachu, but in connection with the fact that...
Do not pull.
I will send you to the hospital. On the X-ray.
Okay and okay.
This is the case...
What is?
You need a fixing bandage, but I don’t have a langet on my leg.
“Yes, and Hera with her... So I’ll come.
Why fuck me again? Well not.
What are you offering?
Well, I don’t have a leg, but this is for a spinal fracture. Do you mind?
Let it wave!
They take a real scarfander and begin to wrap. In five minutes I’m turned into a mummy.
How will I go?
Don’t worry, we’ll take you.
Carriers, medical "bushank", drive nearby - and we are in the hospital. There is the turn. Who has a hand on the bandage, who has a hand on the crutches. And here I. In bandages from the ears to the fifth. People are compassionate.
Brother, where are you?
With a whispering whisper I answered:
The crane struck...
They let go without a turn-and the sanitarians with their feet forward drag my broken body into the office. The surgeon is confused.
Why not go to resuscitation?
I told you.
He begins to scratch from his head.
Does it hurt there?
and no. and below.
here here?
Even further below.
We walk through the whole body to the feet. A bunch of bands grow in the corner.
here here?
and yes!
Why did they trick you that way?
Well, they say, there are no lanches on the leg. Just for the backbone... Well, and...
Ahahahahahahahahahahahahahahah!!! Damn you guys!!! to
The doctor is hysterical. He glimps in the corner, fighting that the country needs heroes, and the piss gives birth to fools... Finally, he finds the strength to inspect my foot.
The usual extension. Now I move and step. Day three will stop. Free to EEA! Take the clothes and bands!

I run out of the office with the bearings under my mouse. The people stumble. The eyes are like dishes. To say that I surprised them-nothing to say.Touching the repris in the office:
Thank you Doctor! You saved my life!! I will call you my son!!! to
I turn to the turn and shout:
Cheers to Soviet medicine!! to
The crowd in horror departs from the healed. I hear someone breathe.
“The Miracle!”
Some are baptized.
I am happy, jumping, jumping in the corridor, swinging in the bearings.
This is how legends are born.
and Amen.

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №105266
 10.11.2014
Medvedev was named Man of the Year by Murzilka magazine.

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №105265
 10.11.2014
The customer stubbornly does not notice or listen to the correct pronunciation of one wonderful word,
In the letters and in the conversation sounds great.
"Science and Technology"

[ + 25 - ] [2 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №105264
 10.11.2014
to this:

On May 15, 2011 in Yaroslavl, Dobryna Nikitich Bogatyrov was born.
___________
Fuck, what did you get ahead of me? Although... I’ll show my wife, let her know that I’m not the only one like that, maybe she’ll agree :)

[ + 21 - ] Comment quote №105263
 10.11.2014
More than a fifth of the world’s countries use English as an official or predominantly unofficial language. This is because Britain once had many colonies.
--------
Even because domestic English is easier than French, German, and especially Russian. They do not use these clever times in everyday speech; initially there are practically no falls, no slopes, no curves, but exceptions to the rules counted units. Write a search engine or "Eliza" in English (this is a program, a psychoanalytic imitation) - once spit. And a normal contextual search in Russian...Wow... how many years Yandex fought with him.

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №105262
 10.11.2014
Henna Umanets:
Hello
Do you need remote?
I am:
Hello, only for full
Henna Umanets:
Is there an office in Kiev?
I:
No, now only Odessa
Henna Umanets:
OK Not the fate.
My friend just said I’m right for you. Probably wrong
I:
We once looked for a distance, I probably thought that now too
Henna Umanets:
they didn’t think. I wanted to find normal people. I was advised to turn to you.
well well. Forget
Pooh as Pooh
I am a freelancer and I know what Dynamo is.
work to
I am:
OK, good luck)

Henna Umanets: what a crazy luck
Go on

I: xD guy you think I just didn't even look at your portfolio? I've seen your comments under the pictures, you're inadequate

[ + 15 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №105261
 10.11.2014
Jinping surprisingly looks at the gifted Russian smartphone:

Smaltphone is Losian. Everything is Chinese!

[ + 17 - ] Comment quote №105260
 10.11.2014
Rising from the knees, Russia fell
The ruble.
— — — —
The important thing is that she doesn’t follow him now.

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №105259
 10.11.2014
On the eve of birth.
Isn’t you afraid of your ears? :)
And you’re not afraid to look stupid when I’m screaming at the same time: "Oh haha!!! It is!!" and

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №105258
 10.11.2014
My neighbor, pregnant police investigator Daska is terrorized by calls from the Moscow city court.She was in the development of a pedophile-rape a 5-year-old daughter for 2 years.She told him in the interrogation that if he was to shut up, she would put him in a cockroach and there his eggs will be turned off quickly.
So this fool complained to her that she was putting psychological pressure on him and on Monday to hear Daska called to give testimony :crazy: %)
She already said that in the decree, so she is still sought out of the court.I say, tell you, that the doctor did not allow you to drive far.
What kind of civilized country do we have? :roll: Investigators on the first complaint to the interrogation are called.With the fact that all the episodes are proven and shines this fool 12 years or older-he is the second time on this article goes

[ + 17 - ] Comment quote №105257
 10.11.2014
And the guy who bought dollars was not such a loser... We laughed in vain.

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №105256
 10.11.2014
Do you know a good diagnosis?
Dr. House is not bad talking, but we don’t know each other personally 😉

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №105255
 10.11.2014
The fox roasted the fish and cooked potatoes. You can fuck when you want.)
Vauu: straight fish fried desired, carpica mmmmmm...
zzz: straight man wanted, who can bake, mmh...
ZZZ: the fish
zzz: fried fish

The best quotes and jokes from the bezdna