bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 27 - ] [13 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №145454
 10.10.2017
What did you say about this in your doctoral thesis? They ask Medina.
I am a minister. I see so.

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №145453
 09.10.2017
I met a girl. Asked where she worked, she replied "in the sausage". I did not betray that importance. And then it turned out that she was the only girl in a small IT company of 10 people.

[ + 34 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №145452
 09.10.2017

Ohhh, what about that problem?
I decided her.
So what was the problem?
I do not know
How did you decide it?
I thought that was not a problem.

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №145451
 09.10.2017
So we sit and take the exam and we also sit and take the offsets. Prepod is a terrible despot, and everyone is sitting and humbly waiting for executions... One of the assistants is sitting quietly fills the checkpoint and asks the next sitting Vitalik: "How is the name of the lecturer? “” Vitaly to him: "Shnizel" - pursued the teaching among students. Here the man stands up and asks, "Sorry, how is your surname written - Shnizil or Shnizel? “” The audience in the car, the outsider in the misunderstandings. He told him, “If you want to get a bill, write Kalugin.”

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №145450
 09.10.2017
1: broke the manchet at the tonometer, I suspect a cat
Where to buy a new?
A lot of cats are sold in the bird market.

[ + 34 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №145449
 09.10.2017
Once upon a time, in the countryside, where he rented an apartment, he gave the local boy a little money: he went to work, it was morning, late autumn with rain, and he (this boy) was sitting at the stop in matte tapes on his bare leg and trembling.

It was a pity, he gave a significant note. Give and forget. He drank the money, but...

Since then, this BOMZ, when he saw me, has waved his hand and spoke to the whole area:

"The best people of the area - a fiery greeting! "

All the neighborhood grandmothers whispered to me: “His son!”

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №145448
 09.10.2017
Forum of Treasurers
D: The essence of the question. Dried a few vades of untouched caps of mosquito... The essence of the question... How much dry product in grams is needed to immediately, without intermediaries, jump into the ghost world? I have a few questions for the deceased grandmother, I need to wipe a little.
K is 15.87. Under 1600 years is better not to consume because it causes addiction and the desire to stay in the 16th century to collect coins in stamp gloss.
D: Are the two digits after the fifth defining or is it just a joke on your part? Norwegians write that the most words-loving perfumes from relatives do not go into contact with up to thirty grams of dry product.
K: The Norwegians are the Sukhari Nordic...they do not understand our broad and racial soul...this is what they, the descendants of Harald, need to translate the people’s Mukhomori into non-Nordic glukes and we are the guys who are there—we don’t need much...
and the figure verified-yet Lomonosov brought out this pleportion... generally scientists of the current give anything to get out a degree of vodka... the proportion of mosquitoes... the Jews from Egypt...

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №145447
 09.10.2017
There is a racial Jewish restaurant in the city. No one is there (especially the Jews). Because the owners decided to save on the normally trained and polite waiters, on the size of the portions, on the number of dishes in the complex lunch and so on... But the most terrifying thing is that when you are still brought food, you can see how sorry the staff is to give it to you. No one decides to inflict such psychotrauma on people for the second time.

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №145446
 09.10.2017
vik_idda: How interesting is it in modern painting to distinguish genius from simple sludge?
ll2ll: I’m more interested in the question of how the creation of contemporary art does not hang on the wall with your feet.

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №145445
 09.10.2017
Here I, a chemical engineer with a higher education, remember the law that chemistry in school passes before the law of Mendeleev: “The properties of a chemical substance do not depend on the methods of obtaining it.” That is, whether the cooking salt is evaporated from a natural solution, whether it is obtained as a result of the neutralization of spicy sodium salic acid or extracted in some other way - it will in any case be NaCl, which after proper purification can quite salt food.

You are right. by 99.9 percent. But this is exactly 0.1% and hides under-purified impurities... which will be completely different in different ways of obtaining a substance, and since living organisms are an extremely complex system, such impurities can affect it very strongly and unpredictably. Of course, a significant increase in the degree of purification reduces the effect of impurities to nothing, but at the same time it is possible to splash out the child together with water: to consider that the sorcery decoction is effective only due to the main component, and to reproduce it only, while the action is achieved through the combination of very many substances in the right proportions. At the same time, against chemistry as a science I have nothing - only for))))

[ + 33 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №145444
 09.10.2017
Review of the washing machine in the online store:

Disadvantages: If you’re a musician, you’ve studied at a music school, or you just have a musical hearing, you’ll suffer. When included plays a short melody and falsifies on the last note...)))"

[ + 32 - ] [9 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №145443
 09.10.2017
We walk with the child in the yard. We see a 5-year-old smoggy boy actively and skillfully playing football with his mother. I notice the child: look, the boy is younger than you, but he plays better. The son was not confused for a second - well, I'm Russian, all the Russians play bad football.

[ + 18 - ] Comment quote №145442
 09.10.2017
The driver of the trailer loudly, but clearly noticed that the front-going collects all passengers. At the crossroads, he switched the arrow, rebuilt, overtook a little. While burning, the "red" jumped out and threw the sticks back.

It is! The driver of the trail - a former router))

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №145441
 09.10.2017
I was stunned all summer and half autumn by the same advertisement that came out when this page was turned on.
Dating with unmarried people.
Every time I write them "spam" or "not interested".
What do they have for this questionnaire?
I wrote a quote that I myself am unmarried and I do not understand why I need these babies.
The quote appeared in the main.
The curse continues to persecute me.
And today it happened!
I got a strong man’s shoulder.
Money is better, honestly.


[ + 36 - ] Comment quote №145440
 09.10.2017
We have a classic Jew in our office, Kostya. The character, like the Jews in anecdotes, of the used tea bag is not questioned. He is constantly beaten up on this topic. So also today. Petrovich, sweetly smiling, with an oily voice asks our bone:
A bone or a bone? Will you lend me your laptop for the weekend?
In the group of friendship. Without breaking out of paper:
No problem, of course.
There was a silent pause in the air, and the people looked at...
– You’ll get back two, – continued the Kostia reluctantly.

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №145439
 09.10.2017
Lies detectors don’t work that way. There are things you’re nervous about and you’re not nervous about. The interior does not read, as far as we know.
Essno does not work for the travelling... owners of a rich inner world. They get nervous randomly, depending on the thoughts.

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №145438
 09.10.2017
There is something contradictory in the words - "the crowd of wise men"!

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №145437
 09.10.2017
We talked about the Russians in America. Type, "not tolerant" and can "we@at", from the words of a Russian comrade living in the United States. And I remembered one of my “European” stories.

Once settled in France in a small slim hotel. Once it was for the night looking for something else - already very tired then the whole family. The Arab boy, the portier of that hotel, asked me in English for a long time why about our plans when we were leaving, etc. At first I didn’t understand why. But he calmed down when I said we were planning to go on tomorrow. He even allowed me to place my car on my personal parking spot. The fact is that there was a shortage of parking spaces - a narrow almost medieval street. The hotel had only two parking spaces. Patsan Portier said he came to work on foot today and I could put the car in his place.

After a while, I went down to the parking lot to pick up something from the trunk. And I approached the reception room from behind, from the corner, I heard a whistle of voices. Arab guests in all ways "sitting" on the poor-port. He answered them in French and English. Among the English phrases I heard, “They are not white, they are Russian! They will leave tomorrow!”

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №145436
 09.10.2017
The more liberal the liberal, the more monarchical the monarchist, the more Orthodox the Orthodox, the more likely they were in the past to be the leading workers of the Komsomol.

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №145435
 09.10.2017
R: This clown in half of the blog burns. And his schizophrenic folly is very helpful to anti-church propaganda.
M: Is he really God? and ;)
E: My friend in Israel’s son serves in a specially trained police unit working with the gods. The gods are a subtle soul organization. On average, one and a half gods come to Israel every week. One of them came from Greece. God was Horosh, a tall, young man with long dark hair and bright blue lenses. It was all in white blankets and with switches. He was speaking in Greek, gathering people around him. In Israel, our boys were already waiting for him.
R: And what did they do to him?
E: Don’t worry, nothing wrong, they talk to the gods, then decide whether to deport immediately or first provide medical care.

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