bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №105234
 09.11.2014
Discussion of a collection of videos with savages and savages

1: what a sova is beautiful, shaky, loves to swim))) the legs are mowed, the eyes are large, green. And fucking can.
All about my wife *rofl*

[ + 21 - ] Comment quote №105233
 09.11.2014
Would you like to meet Mother Echo?
Hi, it is me.
So it was like this: my ten-year-old child read the third Eragon and cried out: Mom there... they were killed.
Do you think I regretted her? Clogged in the chest? Wiped the tears? Reassured, reassured and comforted? Oh yeah happy. I ran away from her in the kitchen, shouting: Don’t tell, don’t tell, spoilers!

(Roni on Livelib)

[ + 33 - ] Comment quote №105232
 09.11.2014
The Underground...

My friend is a 15-year-old teacher. I show her in some printed advertisement: "Vafel towel with discount", and she is serious:
- You know, when I see this, I am already afraid to look into the modern dictionary: and suddenly I was allowed to say THAT!

[ + 21 - ] Comment quote №105231
 09.11.2014
Do I believe in good people?
Of course, but I still want to put a large-caliber machine machine machine gun in front of the entrance door and connect the doorbell to the trigger hook through a simple mechanism.
The main keys to not forget.

[ + 23 - ] [6 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №105230
 09.11.2014
Theoretized by:

Why in our schools we taught English, which still no one has learned, but did not teach Georgian, Kazakh, Uzbek and others
-------
Probably because knowing the language of an ancient cultural civilization is more useful and logical than knowing the language of the wild in a kibit?
_________________________

English is the language of international communication. This is usually told in school.
There are other languages of international communication, but there are no Georgian, Kazakh, or Uzbek.
Russians living in the republics, these languages and local history were studied in the school.

[ + 31 - ] [2 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №105229
 09.11.2014
here here :

xemten: I read the Talmuds of the PTU on the tokar/fresher affairs. There in the introduction usually write - "Tokar - an interesting and promising specialty. In our country, the tokar is a respected person". I was unwilling to say "I want to go to your country!!and "

A qualified not very drinking steward in our time of general higher education is a very rare and very respected person in the factories. I don’t know what the prospects are, but
They will be paid well, and they will be paid well on the left.

[ + 37 - ] Comment quote №105228
 09.11.2014
by Shandi1

Cranes would be pleased.
My friend told me a wonderful story. A delegation of the RPC went to Europe, and this visit happened precisely on Halloween. The director of the restaurant in which they ate dinner was not aware of the specifics of their guests, and therefore the waiters dressed according to the holiday. As a result, there was an oil painting - church hierarchs are sitting, and they are served by witches and demons.

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №105227
 09.11.2014
The severe Chelyabinsk.
The network of tour firms "Susanin"

[ + 23 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №105226
 09.11.2014
to this

The husband insisted that the daughter be named Eve. Just a few days ago I learned that this is in honor of the online game Eva...
-
The game is called EVE.
I am reading (IV)

----------
Have you heard of translations?
In the Bible, Eve is also called Eve, and they read Eve in English. And yet...


[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №105225
 09.11.2014
I'm telling a friend about how I'm going through the new Alien'a:
I: It is scary not even from what someone else will eat, it is scary from surprise. For example, you’re walking around in the dark, and in the neighboring room the top is in ventilation, whispering and whispering, music, by the way, is also relevant. And you want to wash away from here, to hide, to fail under the ground, but you have to go further, because you have a task.
So I go out to the board.

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №105224
 09.11.2014
Oh, right scared, Chinese language is easier than Russian for order! births, numbers, slopes, slopes, times - NO! All this is replaced by suffixes and official words. Just lazy fat aunts, dragging bags, squeeze their nose into a book. Not necessarily in a two-volume for universities, you can also buy a brochure "elementary course". Ancient literature and the Chinese themselves are hard to read. To speak, you do not need to sit 10 years behind the bar, you need a desire to communicate! Our speakers and forestry workers are communicating! And the Chinese are nice - you speak Chinese - and the price is lower, and the goods are better, and the smile is wider. And most importantly:"He doesn’t tell those kunis how much he took" they traded in Chinese, kunis and unknowingly what they did.

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №105223
 09.11.2014
Xh: these are non-people, erges, perverse people
Who else could have invented the design of the notch?
XH: Broken Fuck Cooler
Xh: I fucking scattered dozens of fucking screws
xh: I disconnected a bunch of contacts, then I will remember where to connect back
Xh: I was upset when I understood this heroic satanic machine
xh: and all to see that the refrigerator does not rotate because of the pale compressed piece of hair between the blades, the fox

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №105222
 09.11.2014
Married to a nurse, at least one role-playing game in life less.

[ + 40 - ] Comment quote №105221
 09.11.2014
A couple of days ago, the store on the gasoline... I buy cigarettes and not to explain what exactly, silently get a package and say, - this is the same. The seller went to where they hid their cigarettes (you can’t see them now). After a short shower loudly like this: - and you are "suffering" or "impotence" is also suitable?
Rejoiced again.

[ + 20 - ] Comment quote №105220
 09.11.2014
When my wife suddenly approaches me, hugs, kisses and says, “You know how much I love you?“I’m getting scared. The car? The betrayal? The credit? Called to live?

[ + 33 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №105219
 09.11.2014
In general, when I was whipped a week ago, the guy left alone in my shoes. And, I have to say, this was the only working pair of strict shoes in the winter, because in the second the cat snorted two months ago and I put it on the balcony and forgot it safely. And here comes today. I have a meeting, i.e. in the boots and other shoes the option is not to go.In the shoes the shit is hot,because +15 today was. There is one option - to wash the cacao from the second pair of shoes.... use to wash, it does not work.It is necessary to tear off the mattress.It was ripped, glued, with meat. I washed for half an hour, the cat was swallowed out of all his soul... with a housey soap and business soap, the hard side of the sponge. Clothed recently "Moment", there was no time to dry up and ran to do things. Rounded all day.
And here comes the time when the puppy, with whom we have seen several times and like each other, asks to meet her at the airport.I meet, we go back...it will go to me?",and I have a thought in my head: my socks smelled like a cat's shirt or a domostos, or even attached to the mattress...In short, I went home. Not a pedestrian?

Well, to the word, that didn’t go... because all three misfortunes happened.

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №105218
 09.11.2014
I was once a young Marxist, only after universe. I decided to work on one building. And it must be said that the workers there were some former Zeka, and local calliers. Well, they poured the foundation out of concrete, but here is the trouble - too much was enough, higher than needed. Well, and I have the first task from the boss - measure everything and measure, how much extra stuff is poured and placed on them, how much to borrow, they will make breaks for the night. Well, I measured everything and placed on the area of the tablets - there 200, there 100 to remove. Well, as they taught, everything is certain - in millimeters.
I come in the morning - the men are all barely alive, in the head in the concrete places. It turns out that they were used to measuring in centimeters... You would see their faces when I told them to roll back O_o.

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №105217
 09.11.2014
This virus is spreading so fast. My panacea is just beginning! (A 25-year-old girl who used the word "panacea" twice before, instead of "epidemic").
__________
Not an epidemic, but a paranoia.

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №105216
 09.11.2014
X: I was fat and acne before, but now I am not. At the same time, the problem of addiction to harmful jerk solved itself and very unexpectedly. I came somehow to the supermarket, and there on the shelf are columns with inscriptions "for optimists", "for fantasists" and so on. I stand and think "I wonder, am I an optimist or a fantasist?". And then there is a thunderstorm in me "You are a gyrobas!". The desire disappeared and did not return.

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №105215
 09.11.2014
Ishkan: Worried about looking for a new housewife. I eventually found it at the recommendation of a friend. Aunt made an indelible impression on him when during the first cleaning, she moved the winter rubber from the corridor, which stood there for the second month, to the balcony.

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