There should be some life at home. Someone has cats, someone has dogs, someone has a husband.

I had a friend who had three rats. Attention in the Year of the Rat. What will he do for the Year of the Dragon? Okay, I brought and brought.
A friend went abroad to see people, to show themselves and their rats. At the airport, the control opens a cage, and there are only two rats. He immediately calls 911. That is to me.
Anyway, he says. The rat disappeared. Whether in a taxi, or at the airport, or at home. And he asks me to check if one of the rats is left at home, so that the airport is not on his ears (and he can).
Do you know how to find a rat in a 4-bedroom apartment?
I now know. Put a plate of water and crush dry pasta there. The rats have to run away.
But! Rat is not an Olympics, you can’t hold it. He is hiding somewhere and waiting for me to leave. If she is at home.
I make a strategic decision: I go out for half an hour to the store and come back.
and bingo! There is no pasta in the plate, so the rat is at home. of logic?
I call a friend, and he also has good news. The rat was found at the airport. I went into the suitcase to a lady who is writing a statement to him right now.

I’m sitting here and wondering, who ate the pasta in the empty apartment?

In Odessa on the station on the perron walks a man and monotonously bubbles:
Newspapers, magazines, erotics, horoscopes and anecdotes.
The buyer extends him a mint hryvnia:
A joke please.
The man carefully examines the hryvnia in the light, hides it in the wide army caliphs and says:
– So, listen here – a man returns from a business trip...
The overwhelmed buyer thinks, “It’s good that I didn’t take erotic...”.

In 1993, when there was money in circulation, both Soviet and new Russian, I suddenly found myself in the box office of a collapsing Soviet trading network. Suddenly, a senior cashier arrived at the hospital. The working hours were from 13 to 21:00 and a working Saturday.
24.07.1993, on Saturday, was my last working day at the box office, on Monday I had to go out sick, and I would transfer the box office. The kids were with my grandmother, I walked the market in the morning and went to work. And at this time it turns out to have announced the withdrawal of Soviet money from circulation until 0 am 26.07.93, i.e. Until Monday.
Immediately all the chiefs appeared, quickly shaken the entire box, separating the Soviet from the Russian. Good acquaintances fell, asking to change money, so the office was transferred to a siege. Almost all the other shops in the city closed, we worked almost alone. Cassiers from the trade hall carried money in avocados. Each avosky was rubbed on a separate table, I was carried already sorted and counted. Chariots came from the branches. I re-calculated all this, placed the stamps in my office and recorded it. Everything was in full confidence. We counted the money all these days and a half, and we had only one machine. By the morning of the 26th to deposit to the bank I had about 30 million in 4 health boxes and an explanatory to the bank for such an amount.
Z is. I had a cash box, there was even a small surplus for a cake for tea.

We have a shell at work, which we use well... from the end of August. During this time, she regularly burned. I pulled liters there. I disassembled the pipes of shit plastic - those that were available to me. I complained to the sanitary. I wrote applications. The technician came today. It turned out that our shell... was just not connected to anything. Fig knows we’ve been watering all this time.

In Moscow will be more than 180 stations with chargers for phones
Now push off the phone will be much easier and faster.

Last night I called my cell phone, I picked up the phone and immediately heard:
- Hi, I already understood that I was wrong with the number, but decided that the more cultural would not drop, so that you can explain everything and you did not worry about who called.
I am a little upset:
The Spa...
He hanged the phone.
- Oh, not a cultural shit, dropped without listening to me - I thought.

Search for Administrator:
I am not the author of that quote, but:
Stavropol, the viewing site, was a lawn with trees, now a church + hospital territory, a lawn with trees, now a church.
Look for.

Today in our store (electronic goods) an old hearing poor grandfather was realized the "call" MZM-1...
I think so... It’s apophysis "hello neighbors"...

On the roads are going to produce unmanned Kamazs - without a driver he can and will go, but without mechanics - nothing, and with such an abundance of electronics on board, even a programmer is needed in the crew.

From the discussion of missing sanctions cheeses in ZH:
xxx: You understand that it is from these details that class hatred arises. Here you are speaking the English cheddar, and I am already presenting you on the lamp or with the feathers in the blade.

Yesterday, the optics were...
Chel asks "What is your address at all?"
I’m starting to risk in my head the presence of our Ipišnik...
And then the girl from the subscription department issues "Gagarina, 6" and the guy records it to himself.
I caught Zen.

xxx: I fully support the basic idea of showing the horror of war.
Even to the creators of “romantic” war films came this same idea.
Yyy: Creators of romantic war films are interested in bambo, not humanism.

by Frida
In the hairdresser I was asked a good question: "Will we leave our ears?". I didn’t even know what to answer... But they left my ears with me.

I went to biliard with my friends. They are everyday, amateur or professional.
And every cheetah behind the shoulder for the cheetah, cheetah skin, professional type.
Keys are also difficult for everyone - somebody like that,
Somebody has an incrustation at all.
In short, we went to the billions - measured... KYYAM

Imagine the production of refrigerators. In it, 1 worker is able to make starlights, the other 10 are scavengers. This is the model of the development project.

(by fb:belko.giharko)

Announcement on site. The programmer.
Requirements: Work experience: from 3 years. Production of tea and coffee. Knowledge of the basics of computer work.

First class... My dad wanted me to have a calligraphic handwriting and to write with a pencil. As I remember now, she is thick, uncomfortable. I had to do the homework, the exercise consisted of only one sentence (the essence I do not remember). I write with this pen. And in the street the sun, behind the window a ball is heard, friends who are in classics, who are in rubber... And I write and rush and make mistakes. Dad takes the line, gently crosses the whole sheet, turns it over and over again... I don’t know how many sheets we crossed, but in the end I’ve already squinted like a puppy. When the notebooks were distributed back with a red pen, it was written: 5!!! Smart boy, you are a very patient girl. PS: Parents, call me tonight!! to
What she said there to Daddy I don’t know, but we never repeated it again 😉

The shooters from the Moscow region entered the hospital.

The commentary:

"There is a generation who has grown up who has not heard the joke with the words 'Sleep the fly'.

Few people know about the content of the entrance exam for the position of "assistant director of a porn film". Usually women are applying for such positions.
No, it’s not what you just thought.

Test task: prepare 3 liters of milk jelly of the desired color and consistency.
(That’s enough for all the double of the filming day.)

XX: Our eldest (...) we started leaving one home from three years old. Younger - with two under the supervision of the elderly (difference of 3 years)

The survivor’s mistake

ZZZ is +1! A neighbor in a winter evening went out to a store, left a 5-year-old daughter at home. The light was cut off in our house and several nearby houses - she lit a candle, the curtains broke off from it, wallpapers... From the street a guest from the fraternal republic saw this: he crashed to the floor, knocked on all the apartments, spoke in his tongue, the only door he did not open with his foot, and there was light like day... In short, luckily, we insisted on boiling water on the aquarium, the water boilers would not be poured. Then the little girl was found under the bed, hiding, and suddenly her mother wept.