bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 44 - ] Comment quote №38498
 07.11.2010
How are new roads being built in Russia?

Where a pedestrian passes, a bicycle passes.
Where a bicycle passes, a motorcycle passes.
Where a motorcycle passes, there a motorcycle passes.
- where the SUV passed, there is soon a traffic jamming from ordinary cars
Only remains :

- to allocate from the budget a couple of billions of dollars "for the construction of roads" to spread them between a couple of next "pasechniks", then sign papers on the commissioning of the road in operation
Road signs: “uneven road” and “30”
Hide under every bush of craving.

The road is ready for operation!

[ + 99 - ] Comment quote №38497
 07.11.2010
Last night he hurt his hand heavily. They were told to come to the bandages every day, eat antibiotics, and so on. We wrote a certificate on the basis of which the universe, of course, quickly went to our home. for a day of lying at home reviewed all of the "Star Wars" and here one beautiful morning as a zombie I go to the bandage, two uncles of the police officer, the dialogue:
(m): Young man, please present your documents
These are not the drones you are looking for.
(M and W): It is fine.
They turn, they leave.
The curtain.

[ + 40 - ] [3 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №38496
 07.11.2010
Why do Ibolit posters hang in many children's clinics?He was a veterinarian!! to

[ + 53 - ] Comment quote №38495
 07.11.2010
To find out the price of the year, ask the person who completed the spacecraft in the game Civilization in 2021.

To find out the price of a month, ask a person playing wow.

To find out the value of a day, ask a man who seized the castle in HOMM on the seventh day.

To find out the price of an hour, ask a person whose character in Fallout 2 died of radiation while being an hour's walk to the city with the store that had a radway.

To find out the value of a minute, ask a person who has gone away for a minute, and during that time he has been taken out in the game dune 2.

To find out the value of a second, ask the person who is second on the list of records in the game Crimsonland.

To find out the value of a millisecond, ask a man who carried a strange flag and was killed in front of his flag in the game Quake 3.

[ + 57 - ] Comment quote №38494
 07.11.2010
The wife burned: in the car on the back seat lies a cake, the aunt sits. The following dialogue between them:
Q: Are you on the village cake?
T is yes.
C is delicious?
Two seconds of silence and wild laughter in the car)))

[ + 95 - ] Comment quote №38493
 07.11.2010
I woke up today from the clock ticking, for a minute I woke out where my clock ticked, went to look in the dark.
The Cat Drinking Water

[ + 57 - ] Comment quote №38492
 07.11.2010
It’s hard to argue with a dentist.

[ + 66 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №38491
 07.11.2010
X: Do you know that Sanya recently bought a car?
Y: Yes and what?
X: So, he has already broken it! In short, the bullet is this: he goes to work in the morning, on the street to sweat. Well, he ran out of foolishness, and here some grandmother rushes on the bus and runs across the road. Sanya, although on the brakes, but clings to the grandmother, then flies into the square - and he remembers the bumper and the lighthouse is broken.
What is "Breaking" here? So, I reminded a little.
X: That is Sanya! GIBDD arrives, well type - "let us conduct an experiment, how much you jumped there and what braking path"
Mint sits with him in the car, says "Dave on the gas, we went!"Sanya and melt, already 70km\h :) Mint oret "Tormosi!"
And Sanya brakes him... he brings him into the tree right next to the court building!! to
and loooool! Was he imprisoned?
X: I was in shock when I heard it! All the GIBDshniki, they say, stood there in the shower: the grandmother was almost destroyed, the mint was almost destroyed, the court building was almost destroyed.

[ + 94 - ] Comment quote №38490
 07.11.2010
Announcement at the entrance:
"Dear fellow residents! On December 7th, the internet will be turned off. For a separate fee, we can turn off the internet and in the nearby entrance, so that you are not so offended.

[ + 72 - ] Comment quote №38489
 07.11.2010
From Contact:

What do you think about F4 is a very necessary clivish? = = )
yyy: No=))But Alt+F4 – closes the active window=))))so there is a benefit from it=)))
xxx: Oh yeah :=)) I mean you’ll have to go into the vacuum cleaner :"(

[ + 56 - ] Comment quote №38488
 07.11.2010
And then I realized clearly that he had condoms and today I shaved my legs. In fact, nothing interferes with us...

[ + 68 - ] Comment quote №38487
 07.11.2010
Okay, I’ll go feed the dog, or it’s still alive.

[ + 50 - ] Comment quote №38486
 07.11.2010
XXX: The Fuck
yyy: by the politeness)
xxx: the girl

[ + 71 - ] Comment quote №38485
 07.11.2010
I cooked my mother’s cookies. She ate everything and said, “Thank you, son, I didn’t let my mom lose weight.

[ + 65 - ] Comment quote №38484
 07.11.2010
Alcohol kills the brain. Proof of this: I was called at 3 p.m. to clarify the terms of Ferm's theorem and the amount of the prize for it.

[ + 65 - ] Comment quote №38483
 07.11.2010
Recalled by a friend. A lot of fire water was drunk. In the morning, more precisely the day, through the dream, I feel that my hand lies on something hairy, well, I think once I woke up at home, it means that it is a cat. Let’s go, the shit doesn’t scream, I guess what’s going on? I open my eyes, this is my foot.

[ + 49 - ] Comment quote №38482
 07.11.2010
From the angry tirade of the chief, insulting the admin for burning the mat. Payment of:
The eagle and the eagle!! Only chicken legs grow out of your ass.

[ + 55 - ] Comment quote №38481
 07.11.2010
The Environment: Kyoun
Lady in Red: Mmm?
What a wonderful status))) "doebi"))
Sorry...who didn’t fuck you? :D
Lady in red: I knew you would like it ?
Lady in Red: Doebi - Saturday (Japan)
The Environment: Fuck
Lady in red :P

[ + 65 - ] Comment quote №38480
 06.11.2010
The mayor won the election with 21 votes.

The comments:
XHH: A persuasive break. We need to recalculate here.
What to recount? Thirteen and Ace.

[ + 59 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №38479
 06.11.2010
Saturday early morning. I woke up lightly – I didn’t sleep. I started working - turned on the computer, sat down to code. Light, suits me a sleeping little boy (5 years old)
Dad, why are you not sleeping?
I work, go sleep again.
No, I don’t want to sleep.
Go and play toys.
He left and returned in five minutes.
Give me a hammer.
Why to you?
I will work.
He took the hammer and left. I go after him. I see - got a piece of the board and knocks in it with a string of nails. I looked at the clock, eight just knocked. He closed the door to the kindergarten and, full of pride, went to code further. Man is growing.

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