The windows were installed again today. Trying to replace the broken stick last time - broken glass package. "We will never leave here," - the brigadier was condemned to breath. He clearly knows a lot about horror films.

How do I tell my cat that we will have a baby soon?
Yyy: In fact, children should be consulted with the cat before conception. The basic rules of decency.
xxx: And if the cat was not present at conception - then the child is considered adopted.

The smaller a man, the greater the insults... The greater a man, the more extensive... the vengeance!

I went fishing in the company of 50 men.
After an evening promenade and a light dinner (in terms of food little, vodka a lot), listened to their stories, which were reduced to 2 topics:
1) At work, everything is bad - everywhere the guard, even the nail cannot bear, not to mention the solarium. It was easier before.
The whole army was robbed, pederast!

They appoint the faithful, and demand as from the wise.

Here somehow wrote about the "Alien figures in natural size", amusing, of course, but... today found my son in the room an empty bowl of drink "Joker". I decided to hold an educational conversation on the topic of not only alcohol, but also that there is chemistry consistent. I read the composition... "aromatizer "Joker", identical to natural". O_0
Can anyone explain what natural jokers smell like?

B: A technological video surveillance system was installed on one of the substations. There the requirement is that each switching device must be visible at any time from at least two cameras from different angles - therefore, the cameras are twisted, with good zoom and resolution. so here, the contractors working there on the reconstruction did not get alive at all - the staff began to have fun chasing them on the loud "ey, there, it is good to suck on the tire separator!"

If we talk about the chief, the very "beautiful" - in large and poor state offices. They perfectly combine the approach of merchants and budgeters. In the end, you have to call the indicators, because it is a shame to sit on the pope exactly for a fixed salary, but to get a fixed salary, because you are not a commercial sector here, you must understand! And yes, half of the employees are different kinds of friends and acquaintances of the rabbit – in the sense of your boss – who for years can’t master the simplest sequence of operations (because they don’t need it, and they won’t drive it out). And you must understand that you cannot go on vacation, they will not be able to do without you.

In the original story of Uspensky
^ ^ ^ ^ ^
The cat and the dog had a complex highly organized brain with self-awareness. By the way, if I am not mistaken (the childhood book is now unfortunately lost in the depths of the book deck), there was a portable sun, a tractor with a simple Scream and a chemical reactor, so it was easy to work on a compot or soup (interesting, and if it was a self-driving?The cow is a mutant, giving cooled milk directly in the exchange. There was nothing about my mother’s strange ability to move in space astonishingly quickly. So there are no insinuations, but cautious hypotheses that have the right to life.

And whoever is against it, let us act like the man who, upon the question of flat earth or round, said to the Inquisitor that the breasts of your wife are flat, and the earth of the fox is round, that is to say, let us execute immediately.

XXX: What about the movie?
YYY: I didn’t even watch :) Produced by: Lost Eye Films
YYY: My Brain Translated Like a Film
YYY: and Chet I decided that looking back I can’t do it anymore

One day my companion so hacked the site, and the pictures left on a link from our server. We made the men’s pizzas out of their hearts :)

I watched the tyrant. The first thing that comes to the eye "Roskomnadzor banned the article "Lurkomorye" about a boy with a flag in his ass"
Ordinary morning, ordinary Lurk, life continues :)

Here you go specifically in the fifth to buy juice on the stock, and it is there without the stock.
WOW: And all that, financial collapse ((
Zzz: You still forget the bonus card

Fedor knew the language of animals.
<<<<
It was he in the dad, apparently, he also understood Matroskin and Ballik without any problems. But the mother of Uncle Fedor was a real talent: she understood animals no worse, and she was able to create portals. Well, who will believe the fairy tales about the "recording of the performance on the film" and skiing with a costume in a makeup. At what speed did she have to break up in such a snowfall to get a little later in a car in Prostokvashino? About Pechkin in general, it is scary to think who can encrypt under a malicious postman. And his bike from the second transmission goes to the space-time band, on a parsec for one spin of the pedals.

In youth we think of tomorrow, in old age we think of yesterday. Should we be surprised that this day is so imperfect?

How we made the watchman.

It was 20 years ago, we were young and happy because we got our first well-paid job. We escaped the poverty of a small peripheral town in northern Israel and now work as waitresses in an elegant five-star hotel in Eilat. From the abundance of foods that we brought to the tables, our saliva flowed and our eyes rushed. We wanted everything! Given that our parents still fought for their place under the sun, they didn’t have money and in the last five years, we’ve not been bad at all.
We worked in the dining room, our task was to bring and replenish large meals for breakfast and dinner. There was all this for us, of course, was not allowed, for the workers there was a separate dining room, there occasionally got cakes that "stayed" but this happened extremely rarely. Not to be able to take it with you and talk. This was strictly forbidden and was followed by the watchman Menahem. And we wanted everything, and these strange tropical fruits and air cakes and cheeses. And baking, about what was baking, small croissants with different fillings, cookies and roulette, and everything smelled so delicious. No, of course you could go and buy, but there was no money in the first place. Even the first salary has not yet been received, in the second such things are expensive, the pound of grapes served for dessert at dinner cost as much as half of my working days and then not in every store it could be bought. And yes, the money we did not want to spend, not for this we spent 16 hours to buy cakes, especially since they are cakes right before our nose. It was hard to eat during the work, but all the Israelites did so, picked up the dish and periodically ran there. The officer pretended not to notice. But we wanted more, we wanted to take home, cut beautifully into plates and sit on the shore to meet the red sunset.
How to endure? And no how. Menahem was always on guard. A little wicked old man, 45, but at 18, he was an old man, checking his bags at the exit, screaming at us, and waving a big stick. When they complained about the stick, he said he was driving away the cat, but we were sure to find it in our mango bag, then we will become cats and say goodbye to the job.
Every time I went out, I was close to a nervous breakdown. And although I had nothing in my bag, the fact of the check was as scary as the rude attitude and screams. After I dropped my bag and held the whole turn and received the extra portion of Menahem’s screams, I told Rimka that it was the last time. Tomorrow we’ll start tossing it. We discussed the plan at night.
The next morning we started by greeting him at the entrance and saying goodbye at the exit. Wishing you a good day or a good weekend. They began to be interested in his health and ask whether the cats are bored.
For the first month he did not notice us, looked through with an unseen glance, bumped something under his nose and pulled his stick. But we did not despair. Since we had to train him and not seduce him, we dressed modestly and carefully. Rimka wrapped the knots and I tail, wearing the t-shirts and sticking them to the last button and it was in the 40-degree heat of Eilat. We were polite and kind. We smiled and patiently thought about how to gain his trust and when he stops checking our bags, we will start filling them with fruits and sweets. Then we smiled and licked in the heat. A month later, he looked at us in the crowd, but still did not say hello. Then he stopped screaming at us. Then he left us without a line. Three months later, he answered our first greeting because the holidays were. Eventually he talked to us. And then we discovered that he was not a beast, but a very unfortunate man. Menachem alone raised four children, his wife died. The kids grew up, but the problems did not get better. He told us about Eilat, about Timna Stone Park, about military bases in the mountains, about military service, about his wife and children. We really became friends. Our original goal lost its meaning. He was now our friend and not a wicked, disgusting old man, but it was low to subjugate his friend and steal sweets using his trust and we didn’t do it. Like all the talkative 18-year-old girls, we spread his stories throughout the hotel and people saw him from the other side. Now almost all the employees greeted him and he answered them. He began to be invited to parties, of course he did not go anywhere for a long time, but we still pulled him out. At one of these parties he "met" Katya, before that she walked by him for two years and they did not see each other.
Soon, Rimka and I were fired, or more precisely, she was fired for "hunting" the boss with whom she refused to spend the night, and I left out of a sense of solidarity. It turned out that Menachem knew all the guards of the city, and the next morning we were already working in another five-star hotel in the VIP bar because Menachem was entrusted to us as "good and not wicked" girls. Had he known what mercantile goals we were pursuing then...
Then I left school, life turned upside down and we lost contact.
Last week, my husband and children were in Eilat, walking along the beach, the kids were running around and making a lot of noise. I constantly screamed at them when I heard, “Oh, stop screaming at the kids, you were such a cute girl, what happened to you?” I wore it, what do I think? I turn around, ready to break this ugly old man in pieces, and I see the laughing face of Menahem.
He accepted us as relatives and called us home. He then married this Kate, she was a single mother with a little daughter in her arms. They adopted a girl and they gave birth to another. The difference between the younger and the older is 20 years. He showed photos of his grandchildren, thanked us and Rome calling angels who pulled him out of depression and that thanks to us he found happiness, etc. And I sat down and burned with shame for my terrible motives, for my lies and hypocrisy, and in general for the intent to steal. I will never tell him that, let him be happy. In the end, it really became our way. Well, what gave rise to this friendship is not so important now.

I am not surprised that Soloviev found apartments, houses and villas in Italy. I would be very surprised if he had found a dojo in Syktyvkar.

I work as a lawyer in a small company, Friday, the second half of the day, the day is very busy (and not only with me), everyone runs - the ass in the soap.
I approach the reception to the office manager to send the correspondence for sending, she is trying to solve a task with someone on the phone (apparently already coupled), I stand waiting for an agreement.
He puts the phone. He looks at me. And he says "Allo".... (silence... hangover). Good Friday to everyone, don’t overwork.

The generous cat is burning.
I came back last night, happy. There was no strength to wake up at all, I just checked that no extra animals would jump on the bed. He decided to boast simply. And in vain.
For a day, the deceitful mouse was silent somewhere, and this morning was found in the kitchen and skillfully turned away from the shabby.
I have to call the neighbor’s cat again. With the previous mouse, she dealt with in 10 minutes, demonstratively disassembling 3/4 of the production across the threshold.