bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 35 - ] Comment quote №89205
 02.11.2013
From the Auto Forum:
Svetlana: By your advice, I bought Opel Astra here six months ago. I say on garlic, she disappointed me.
Alexander: I am ashamed to ask - why did not hit the machine?
Svetlana: she is so gray so unnoticed in the stream
Victor: buy a fire car - you will be strongly distinguished...

[ + 16 - ] Comment quote №89204
 02.11.2013
A friend told the cat:
What, shit, falling down where you shouldn’t!! to

[ + 17 - ] Comment quote №89203
 02.11.2013
The comments of Habrus burn again:
In wartime, the cosinus angle can reach four. If very necessary.

Not a cosinus, but a pi.
Excuse me

And now imagine that even cosinus in wartime can get somewhere equal to 4. It is a disaster!

In wartime, the sinus angle can be blue. If the boss ordered.

Judging by trends, in our time the sinus of the angle can be condemned if it is not blue.

[ + 35 - ] Comment quote №89202
 02.11.2013
From Hubble, discussion of Curiosity

Zelenyikot: Water is life. The water in the solar system is in ruins, but life is only here.
On the one hand, the lifelessness of Mars is sad. Hundreds of years of people's hopes for close brothers and sisters are destroyed. But if you look at the prospect of exploring Mars, its sterility is good. There will be no moral contradictions about “Can we kill them to live for ourselves?” and Greenpeace will not bother.

Hyston: I fear there will be a Redpeace that will insist on preserving the natural radiation background.

[ + 20 - ] Comment quote №89201
 02.11.2013
xxx: Facebook is burned with a flame, and anger tweet, and the young programmer....
yyy: facepalm, fuck up, deadline and R.I.P. ( by

[ + 50 - ] Comment quote №89200
 02.11.2013
From Japan:

In my hometown, a tractorist from a heat truck twisted a hood to a pneumoniae. I turned off one lighthouse and drove cars to the district center at night. I imagine the number of bricks laid off by the opposing drivers of cars when they are met by a heat car with one lighthouse and whisper like a victim.
He was chosen by the head of the tractor.

[ + 33 - ] Comment quote №89199
 02.11.2013
I have the right to be an astronaut. Unfortunately, they do not take.
I have dreamed since childhood.

yyy: from places advised:Send SMS to the number XXXX with the text "I am a cosmonaut". The more SMS you send, the more astronaut you are.

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №89198
 02.11.2013
XXX is MDA. I decided to buy sausages with a friend, well, eat a type. There is one near the subway. We bought, here we in the back of the seller says "And we have a stock! Good luck! and good luck! They will give!
And here we stretch a roll of toilet paper 65 meters!
Eat with understanding of risk.
Respect the copywriter!

[ + 31 - ] Comment quote №89197
 02.11.2013
In the capital subway will install machines, which will sell tickets for one trip not for 30 rubles, but for 30 seats.
A "ku!" will you have to talk about it?

[ + 37 - ] Comment quote №89196
 02.11.2013
From Twitter:
xxx: I went to the universe in the bus, stumbled my head at the ceiling so that my head is still cracking!(And that’s with my 175 centimeters...how do people with a height of 190 ride in them?! to
It hurts! it hurts to drive.

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №89195
 02.11.2013
There are two things you shouldn’t forget if a bad fate forces you and your ex to go to the same place:
Don’t even look at him.
2 The Preservatives

[ + 34 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №89194
 02.11.2013
The scream of the soul.

They say there are people in our country who work only eight hours a day.

Loudly lying! There are either those who work 5-6 hours, or those who work 12-25.

I work 7 hours. I work with harm and milk. There are so many things that you don’t have time to eat lunch. It is impossible to delay and complete the work, prohibit security equipment, leave it for another day - not in all cases it is really possible. So you have to rotate the entire working day like a turbine in a power plant. By the end of the day, the hands and legs fall off, the head shakes, the body in soap...
It is a pity that when choosing a profession, these minor details are not available to students.

[ + 44 - ] Comment quote №89193
 02.11.2013
We have a hard-core fitness club in the city with a brilliant slogan – “You’re tired of being fat and ugly?” Just be ugly!"

[ + 18 - ] Comment quote №89192
 02.11.2013
“When I returned from my first holiday in a sunny country, coming down in the subway on Monday, I was surprised at the cloudy, boring and hostile faces people have in the morning. It looked so wild. At the time when everyone smiles there, it is easy to get acquainted and get in touch with each other.

- I also want the subway to be like the ultra-all including the spa resort by the hotel

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №89191
 02.11.2013
In our neighborhood supermarkets continue to celebrate Halloween. Today there were such terrible tomatoes and such terrible apples that I wanted, with screams of horror, to run away from the store.

by JJ

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №89190
 02.11.2013
He writes in a game, he says, an American, he studies in Germany.
I decided to shine the school English, supported.)
It was hard, but in school I had a trio in English.
We beat mobs, we talk.
In the process, he writes that afk, and the mobs continue to beat.
I ask how? The further dialogue:
How?
Key holder
What is the program?
- mmm... "gayka na 32"

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №89189
 02.11.2013
Comment on the article on the Habr, where the photo depicts a guy with a carelessly sewn chip of impressive sizes

plowed :
"Tim Cannon calls himself a biohacker"
In translation to Russian - %b.

[ + 32 - ] Comment quote №89188
 02.11.2013
My husband calls:

Did you change me?
... in the meaning?
Did you change me or not?
What happened? What did you take?! to
Have you changed my car or not? Time to change, okay?

Blue... he asked to change the text of the announcement of the sale of the car.
If I were a liar, I would have settled.

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №89187
 02.11.2013
I fed the hamster and now his neck smoothly moves into his ass.

[ + 18 - ] Comment quote №89186
 02.11.2013
[14:56:03] <+atatuev> my elevator at home was wildly trolled: I go in, I climb my floor, the door is closed - the elevator is standing.
[14:56:28] <+attauev> how not to crack in the elevators after that

The best quotes and jokes from the bezdna