bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №144954
 19.09.2017
I remember the worst dream of my life I dreamed during my college years. I dreamed I sat off the 5 most boring pairs, while sleeping time was very slow. And here I heroically end up with the last couple and just go home, as the alarm clock works and I wake up. I wake up and realize it’s time for me to go for a couple.

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №144953
 19.09.2017
XXX is fucking.
WOW: It is very pleasant. The Fuck.
The UPS...
The UPS...
XXX is July.
See also: Nadia

[ + 30 - ] [3 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №144952
 19.09.2017
"I am looking for a book
There is often help to find a book, maybe I will be lucky.
Fantastic and Soviet. I remember the beginning, page five. The scientist is alone at home, his wife is away. Irka, his wife, will bring a fish order from work. At home, it is hot and dull, he washes his dishes and thinks about a scientific problem. Mathematics or physics, models of something. He can’t stop, reflect, there’s an idea of spheres or bubbles, brilliant and potentially dangerous. Share the discovery with the neighbor, just have to tell someone. A neighbor (resigned major, "third calac" some) suddenly disappears in the morning, and a fellow servant comes to the scientist with the question of what he is now working on. I could not read further. I want to find. Unfortunately, Google did not help."

Strugatsky, A Billion Years Before the End of the World
A great thing!

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №144951
 19.09.2017
Dear, I love you. We will always do everything together.
We have a very small toilet.

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №144950
 19.09.2017
Katze North: Lord God. I come into the room, and on the key of the notebook a unfortunate freezing cat rolled around.
Katze North: and it still opened the text document and diligently rolled a long message
Katze North: Too Long for Skype
Katze North: but the content is about this: first an indiscriminate tapping on the key, then a peaceful long tapping of one button, and then an indiscriminate wtf when I was shooting the sufferer with the comp.

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №144949
 19.09.2017
Something hot. I approach the air conditioner at work and say to a colleague: does it work better? (I am drinking this coffee)
My colleague Greta:
"In addition to us in the office here everything works!"

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №144948
 19.09.2017
xxx: No, in drawing hello word is a piece, such as "draw a sova in 2 steps")
XXX is Step 1. Draw a circle.
XXX is Step 2. Finish the Sova.
YYY: I know these two steps
YYY: I wrote my bachelor’s degree.

[ + 37 - ] Comment quote №144947
 19.09.2017
I recently had to rule my own code nine years ago. Oh my God, how I suffered!

[ + 31 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №144946
 19.09.2017
Family rest in the sanatorium in Sochi. After dinner, I go to the building and call the elevator. I wait. A woman aged 42-45 with a cloth bag fits positively as follows:

Young man, can you help?

Yes, of course...

She gets the wine out of a bag with a stitched to the end.

Help me to open.

The straw is terrible, the plastic traffic jamming, the carrier, does not go. My fingers are about a terrible stitch. I suggested putting a bag under. Yes, I have put it. Ura pulled it out.

Thank you very much if you didn’t know who to ask. Or maybe we’ll try it together?

Galantly apologized for not being able to make her company during the degustation.

I ran into my room and I left in 10 minutes. And there she again and some man tries to open the wine by pressing a bottle between his legs.

PS: Now the question is: it’s a new bottle or it’s stuck in the bottle I opened.

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №144945
 19.09.2017
See comments on the PM website.
“I have a crazy dream of making a monstrous-size aircraft with a cargo capacity of somewhere 50 thousand tons, so that the army can be transported, for example if the Chinese think to block the transit in case of war. Selling it to the Chinese. Because our army has no money :)

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №144944
 19.09.2017
It’s good to be a cute, slim girl. Showed on the birthday of the name of the breast as a gift - and he is pleased, and you save and advertising

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №144943
 19.09.2017
Few people understand why he lives, and most importantly what is the Meaning of Life, but almost everyone wants to live as long as possible.

[ + 39 - ] Comment quote №144942
 19.09.2017
Our penetration of the planet
Especially visible in the distance.

White people are often frightened by black people. If you are so cool, go for a walk in the black area. When you come back, we will talk.
I will tell you a few stories. I work with people. You take a man out of prison or take him away, and he wants to talk to normal end or start. They happened to different people, but for the simplicity of the story I will lead from one person.
So here, Igor, black like us, Russians. The same psychology. He stole, drank and went to jail. Half is already sitting, half is in line. Questions between them are decided by fist and weapons. They try not to contact the police. I lived with them for a while. How did he live? My boss invested in real estate. Purchased for 15-30K home for a couple of families in the south of Chicago. We repaired it and it was rented. A couple of months you work there and in a few days you already see where they sell grass, how much they take for ecstasy. If you want, you can buy something harder. Does the police know? Police are covering. The Chicago police boss gets about 350K, and the police officer 35K. Here they pick up. Customers are not touched either. What is the problem of delaying a white driver, in the evening, in a black area, in addition to driving "against wool"? But they don’t delay – they don’t scare customers.
So here. Usually when the house is finished or close to completion, you come in the morning and it is empty. In the sense without refrigerators, lamps, tiles, washing machines, cabinets. What are the windows and doors? Electric wires also pull out water pipes. Even the water is not closed. The boss is looking for people who want to live in the final phase. Until the last settled apartment. We had a case that 3 settled, so one cleaned and all heaters, air conditioners from the basement and roof removed. No one called the police, nobody called.
Oh yeah yes. Few people agreed to such a stay, and I always. and what? You do not need to get to work from work. During the day you get for what you work, and at night for what you sleep. Girls have a place to take. If you bring her at night, she doesn’t know where she is. Everything is new, beautiful.
But you live there. Sometimes for six months. You go for a walk, go shopping, clean the snow, cut the grass. The problem is that you can’t say that you’re one of them, from this area to say so, because “and you can see that you’re not a moscal.” Start slowly on the road from the store. What, was he lost? Then they are asked to share a couple of backs! They will come to your place and do what they want. We had two men, that the case to such a situation led to the fact that the nose was not shown from the house and they also regularly beat their glasses. One economist wanted to walk 7 km to his home on a straight street, so on the third day his two quarters were chased and pissed.
“I grew up in the city’s woods, and I did not hear good words.” So you stand quietly, look in your eyes and explain that you are not lost. You live here. You have bucks, but you will not share them, because you need them yourself. Where am I so bored? I come from the store, and in the yard the net is removed from the fence. Zero for me. Oh, I say, workers, fuck up. This is my territory and I take out the phone. And they are so laughing, not stopping to work, say shit, mashafaker. While you are going to call the police while they are going, we will turn some of the straws and wash. In two hours again. So, in the morning, we’ll load this servant onto the machine and leave. I just reacted. I’m not saying, Nika, I’m not going to call anywhere. I take your photo. I will send it to my friends. If something happens to me, they know who to look for. And then I’ll break your legs and fuck your black ass. And all because I am not a Masaphaka, but Russian. Two more steps to them did not take time, and their bright image dissolved in the evening fog.
The investor expelled his family for non-payment. They seem to have left, but the house is closed and someone still lives there. We enter, we open, we enter. Oppa, and there the youngest daughter is 14, her child is one year old and the guy is 25 years old. While the girl tries to talk, he pushes her hand away and goes out. I stand at the door. He does not freeze. The window opens, but the garage! Before the arrival of the police, we were all sitting on the fence. Comrade does not react. I jump, catch my neck, mount on the floor, search the march for the presence of knives and pistols. The guy is in shock. The white should be afraid to say a word, and this one goes away. I am not white, I am Russian. Then the second series goes on. The little girl begins to cry that she is being raped. I grab my throat and press onto the wall. It seems that she has already gone through it - scared and confused. Now, I say, I will shoot your bad butt, if you don’t shut up, and then I will drown him and put the gun in his hand! Quiet and quiet until the arrival of the police. He sits on the mattress and cries, he lies and does not move. The policemen were happy like their mother. They searched for me. It’s hard to find something that wasn’t. There is no belief in the story. The decision of the judge is in our hands. They ask if we want to put them in. My girlfriend has almost described herself, and I say not. Let them disappear. They try to collect things. “No,” the police say, “only what’s in your hands and on the beach. A boy tries to threaten me in court, but a police officer asks what he did here with a minor and a small child. The guy gets stuck and falls. The policemen say goodbye, approach me in turn and hold my hand. They remind us that they have checked the documents and, if desired, we can judge them. From the exit one returns and quietly warns me not to go out with the gun now, or they may be forced to search me again. I laughed and explained that I am Russian. He shakes his hand again and they leave.
I come here tonight for rent. Six apartments for 200-300$. The rest is paid by the state. On the third floor, the door is opened by a father. Well, there is a man with a grandmother, but not scheduled. Three of his five children. She is in full state security, and he lives on her account. The ability to reproduce. I have not paid $70 for the second month. Tamarah (Ah, these are the names) No, like her. I say this is his last warning. Tomorrow I will come at 8 p.m. and if there is no money tomorrow afternoon I will come with the workers and throw things out on the street. Because I don’t know him (three years he lives) and the apartment was rented by another person. He says in anger that with the money I’ve gathered, I’m not going to go home today. I explain to the stranger that I will shoot every risky, and his to a bunch for a clue. I didn’t get out of the building yet, but there was police. He threatened with a gun and shot them all. They look at the wolf and the hands on the handcuffs. Oh, I say, the gauges. I am a good guy, I take the initiative. Now I will be a face to the wall, I will put my legs wide, I will raise my fingers higher. You will visit me, with my permission, and then we will talk. They agree. They climb their pockets, look under their mice, behind their belt. They calm down, listen, and apologize. To say goodbye, the conspirators report that they could also search the machine. In response, I give a visit card where the KGB is written in large black letters. Gamma feelings on the rocks, as long as they read that it is a sports club. Rjut, say something to each other about crazy russian and get up to the debtor. They leave in a minute. As I sat in the car, the stranger ran out to me with the money. I apologized. Yes, I say, or I have already thought in the park whether to bury you or to pour into the foundation of a new house. He promises that everything will be fine in the future. I roar about myself. You have to work on your reputation until it works for you.
A photographer from the first floor tells me where a neighbor from the second floor is doing. Yes, she said, she quarreled with her boyfriend and he went on the bus. She thought and caught him at the stop. He came from behind and shot the people in the head. The Russians are not like them. We can take them out at night here, cuddles. No, I say, these are those whom the family expelled for something. And at home for her folly she would be stoned in the square, and he would be thrown to the bear in the pit. I’ve never heard of that, Blake. Well, so I never heard that no one paid such attention or told. You don’t tell me how you ate eggs for breakfast. The usual thing. I believed. Eyes like dishes. And the Holi? The image needs to be guarded.
Two years later, I was recognized in my new home. Oh! You, say, the Russian who lived there and there. Welcome to the neighborhood!!! to

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №144941
 19.09.2017
What is the difference between ISIS (forbidden in the Russian Federation) and the Government of the Russian Federation (permitted in the Russian Federation)?
ISIS always takes responsibility for its actions.

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №144940
 19.09.2017
South Park, 11x13 Stan with Guitar Hiro moved to a heroin simulator. There, in principle, there is nothing to do, just run through the beautiful forest all the time for the dragon that you will never be able to catch, and constantly inject yourself a new dose.
Yyy: Fuck, it seems like all video games look like this from my eyes.

[ + 26 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №144939
 19.09.2017
The Yoga Studio asks you to send a resume to el. The Post. It is not mentioned in the text or in the contact windows. I call, please send me the address by SMS, I first say that everything in the advertisement is. I answer that neither in the text nor in the contacts - they dropped the phone.

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №144938
 19.09.2017
In any documentation, no matter which country, all sizes are indicated in centimeters or in the American system of measurements.

What is Blade? In the centimeters? Show me this "documentation".
The documentation is in mm. The length of the car.

[ + 31 - ] Comment quote №144937
 19.09.2017
In our time there was Jupe! Now the TFU! The chemistry is complete!! to

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №144936
 19.09.2017
Become smart, rich, famous, free, successful. Make sure everyone around you hates you.

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №144935
 19.09.2017
>>> This is the way Europe has to go. And everything is. And with references.
>>>And here Caucasian is a greeting tag for porn sites.

Scrolled the article of the Anglopedia "Caucasian race", not one of the pictures aroused. Is something wrong with me?

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