I read the news tape, the latest news "The secret of the origin of the moon is finally uncovered", so stupid and want to add the next "Shocking discovery, the earth is not flat"

of Ukraine.

He walked into the kitchen with the TV on. There is a guy standing there and talking about elections with a serious face. Someone in the mask of Darth Vader.

Do I live in a normal country?

Mother: I have to buy a cat this... to beat the nails... a drunkard!
I : Something?
That... that cocktail!

I know how to make Finland a Russian governorate. We take the boys from the children's homes, and a couple of mothers. We take them all to Finland, where moms chase the children in front of the police (to be sure). Children are taken to Finnish kindergartens, moms go for a new portion of children. And so several times. In 50 years, everyone will be speaking Russian.

The sister broke up with the guy - he is a boxer, curly blonde, beautiful, all with him. My mother asks:
Why did you break up anyway?
"Mom, it's like our refrigerator - big, beautiful, everyone likes it, but inside is empty!

She: On cigarettes write "causes lung cancer", on alcohol "harms health". Why don’t men write “Pizzac nervous system” on men?

He: Maybe because it needs to be written on girls? ))))))))

Amazing nearby
Sharikova’s first word was "abyr" – "fish"
in the English layout "f,sh"

dimskef: when I want to work - I work, so that when I want to rest - I can rest

Commentary on mail:
Two years of colony received the sanitary technician Udaltsov for screaming on the street: 'Everything has melted, the whole system needs to be changed!'

Judging by some posts, their authors study somewhere in the classes at 6-7, because they sincerely believe that everyone will definitely be funny if we just see the word "minet".
And judging by the "best", they are not always wrong.

...
I can say one thing. We urgently need the city of Dolboebsk.

XXX: I decided to check if the capacitive display on my smartphone will respond to the heated nail.
XXX: I don’t have a smartphone anymore.

xxx: yeah... when I wrote you a fun message "Hello! I haven’t seen it for a thousand years... and secretly hoped that it would be possible to become good friends or old acquaintances... apparently it didn’t work. Once again, you take a very strange position in my life. You either appear or disappear from it, and the attitude toward you does not change...I wonder how long will it last? A lot of men have gone out of my life, and you are still there. And why? 😉

YYY: Yes because I’m hollowed.

xxx: the fuck)))))))

The knife-stroporez is the embodied dream of any military equipment designer: cheap, perfectly performs the assigned function and is not appreciated by the citizen.

M: Yes, she’s great, I’d beat it!
You have no taste! You’d even beaten a dead cow.
M: For whom do you take me? I think you are a fool!! The dead would never be struck!

Yesterday, his girlfriend picked flowers, knowing that she loves the living and uncut-taken in a pot. The Home Dialogue:
I am a baby, hello. This is for you!
D: Fuck, I don’t like when flowers die!
I: So is he in the pot...?! to
D: He wants me to kill you!
I :...
The Cactus! I have to give cactus.

I love my friends. On my phrase that my boyfriend was poisoned, both with hope in their voices asked "To death?"...)))

From a discussion of the creativity of a young symphony metal group:
Xxx: straight like my grandmother on the piano fucking

A friend invited me to a wedding today. He has lived in the United States for four years, earned very well, received citizenship, bought an apartment, etc.
And it all started with Pokémon on a gameboy, which without knowledge of English would not go through.

Twenty-First(14:20:54 28/10/2012)
Are you sitting behind bars in a crude jail?

XXX (14:21:22 28/10/2012)
Are you dry?

YYY (14:23:36 28/10/2012)
Working out of youth
My sad cat mocking his tail
Delayed whiskey chews on the table

He cries, throws, and looks out the window.
It was as if I had thought of one thing.
He looks at me and laughs.
And he says "Let us drink"

YYY (14:24:13 28/10/2012)
The fuck at the end was a bit out of rhythm >.<