bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 33 - ] Comment quote №88985
 29.10.2013
From Habr:

XXX: I didn’t understand either. It took 30 billion years for light from this galaxy to reach us. That is, once we see her, the light came. But where could he get 30 billion? Years ago there was nothing. The universe was only 14 billion. years ago?
Ladies and gentlemen, have you read the entire article? In Russian, this aspect is also explained.
zzz: How skillfully you left the need to choose a letter in illuminated/sacred :)

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №88984
 29.10.2013
C News
In the forest near Domodedov, a mushroom found an African man tied to a tree.

Domodedovo airport
Mushroom
The African
attached to a tree

Read the Russian news.

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №88983
 29.10.2013
In fact, Australians don’t disappear from the surface of the earth just because their food is rich in gravitons. Those who have just arrived in the country are held solely because of the traces of proper "northern" dirt on their clothes and shoes. When dirt is washed off, gravitons save the matter. Without them, all the Australians would have fallen to hell. But it is very dangerous, you can so attach to the sky that all the stars of the northern hemisphere will crumble and eat into the southern hemisphere. It will be too light and no one will sell these heavy drugs to me anymore!!! to

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №88982
 29.10.2013
I am in Germany, what do you bring?
YYY: I don’t know, you can have an ipad on an iPhone any solid...
Yyy: That’s just me and Michael Jackson.
Michael Jackson's casket was first black, then he was psychotic, wrapped it with white skin, and wrapped up.

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №88981
 29.10.2013
1111> petya campaign decided to drive to the male )
2222> Is it you that Petya boasts or the Male complains? and :)

[ + 48 - ] Comment quote №88980
 29.10.2013
Overall, I now have 500 cards with the name Gridoebov in my hands. Complain late, I didn’t notice at first what the cushion was. I don’t know where to put them now.

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №88979
 29.10.2013
I went out to the balcony to smoke last night. Around the soul. and silence. Only cars are standing in the yard and flashed by blue alarm lights. Decepticons are probably developing a plan to capture the planet

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №88978
 29.10.2013
Comments to the article about user dissatisfaction with Apple programs:
ltfvjy 28.10.13 09:47
Your creatures are dissatisfied.

[ + 15 - ] Comment quote №88977
 29.10.2013
and survived!! to
This morning when I found out today’s number, I call my wife.
Joke, is it a joke?! to
Wife: Noah, I’m sleeping
I: Kiss, we had our anniversary yesterday!
Wife: yeah yeah yeah??? It is true! exactly! We are crazy 😉

[ + 41 - ] Comment quote №88976
 29.10.2013
to this:

I have a joke here.
I need a cash loan of 50,000. I decided to go to the bank "Pushkin" to see, they are in the neighboring house, nearby. I went to the site, looked at all the conditions, decided on the day to go to them, make an application. In the morning news - the bank "Pushkin" withdrew the license, the bank closed.
Fuck him with him. I decided to go to the bank "resurrection", I have their salary client. I called them, we talked, we decided to go as soon as time comes. after a day or two news: "rebirth" bankrupt, urgently withdraw money from cards and accounts. The hysteria was capricious, the people rushed to shoot the bubble, the rows at the ATMs at the time were. The bank has never closed, but there is still a rumor that the curd is about to come.
In the weekend made an application on the website of GE Money (Ji Mani) bank, they called back, talked to them.
Today, on Monday, news on the Yandex - "Sovkombank buys Russian “daughter” GE Money".

I have a dollar!! You are alive!! I knew!! to

[ + 40 - ] Comment quote №88975
 29.10.2013
It was good for the savages: not like man - killed, like - eaten.

[ + 63 - ] Comment quote №88974
 29.10.2013
Last year, my mother came to visit us with her cat, whom her husband hates. The cat was sick. And since her husband was on vacation, he took her to the clinic. He filled his passport there. It opened in 2 years, with the next trip to the veterinarian. The doctor almost burst out when he read that it was a hybrid of hornet and toilet paper and her nickname was “The Shame of Siam.”

[ + 36 - ] Comment quote №88973
 29.10.2013
I call a taxi tonight. Instead of her usual service, she called the service of a polite taxi. It became interesting how polite a taxi is different from the standard.
There is a taxi, but with other trailers. I approached the driver and asked, “Is this a polite taxi?”
Which one, na... The driver responds.
“I called ‘polite’.
“Well, it’s me,” the taxi driver replied. “We are polite and we are sober” (the last word sounds very doomed).

[ + 36 - ] Comment quote №88972
 28.10.2013
Buratinich(5.7.2013, 20:10)
I try to get BD. I do according to the instructions <<link to the intrusion>>, but the drop-down list of servers is empty. Per I misunderstood something about the connection?

Buratinich (6.7.2013, 10:08):
With DB, Access catches everything, and with SQL Server 2012 Express not. Could it depend on the release?

Buratinich(6.7.2013, 19:07):
It is so. Thanks for the monologue.

[ + 38 - ] Comment quote №88971
 28.10.2013
Yesterday, after the flu, I went out for the first time in a week. Autumn is filled with leaves.
She picked up a bouquet of colorful leaves and splintered a wreath.
I walked around the city all day like this. The only reaction of the encountered was - AAAAAA, I want to have such a crown!!!!! to

Remember that you were all children too - and then the non-functioning utilities are not annoying))))

Thank you to all of you for the huge number of leaves;)

[ + 39 - ] Comment quote №88970
 28.10.2013
4pda, article on the repairability of the MacBook Pro.
The answer to the comment that they are replaced by new ones at any breakdown under the warranty.

A1i3n: Yes, they are changing! And not only will they exchange, but they will give another 1 kg gold barrel, keys from Bandley, a trip to the sanatorium, Obama will personally hold his hand, his wife will return, the kidney stones will go away, his son will finish the universe with a red diploma and his aunt will baked.

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №88969
 28.10.2013
I have a joke here.
I need a cash loan of 50,000. I decided to go to the bank "Pushkin" to see, they are in the neighboring house, nearby. I went to the site, looked at all the conditions, decided on the day to go to them, make an application. In the morning news - the bank "Pushkin" withdrew the license, the bank closed.
Fuck him with him. I decided to go to the bank "resurrection", I have their salary client. I called them, we talked, we decided to go as soon as time comes. after a day or two news: "rebirth" bankrupt, urgently withdraw money from cards and accounts. The hysteria was capricious, the people rushed to shoot the bubble, the rows at the ATMs at the time were. The bank has never closed, but there is still a rumor that the curd is about to come.
In the weekend made an application on the website of GE Money (Ji Mani) bank, they called back, talked to them.
Today, on Monday, news on the Yandex - "Sovkombank buys Russian “daughter” GE Money".

I think this is another bank to bankrupt.

WOW WOW WOW!!!! to

[ + 40 - ] Comment quote №88968
 28.10.2013
[17:39:15] A: The fungus found a Negro attached to a tree by the Uzbeks in the forest near Moscow.
[17:41:04] B: Pipetz, tie a Negro to a tree by the Uzbek. Give up! Good for ropes.

[ + 45 - ] Comment quote №88967
 28.10.2013
X: You don’t have any problems with computer games?
YYY: neta
YYY: What are the problems?
YYY: comp is powerful, it is fast, it is top)

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №88966
 28.10.2013
One programming curve creates two new jobs per year

The best quotes and jokes from the bezdna