I have another fantasy opus.
The magician resurrects the 18-year-old girl and she is hysterical:
I have risen from the dead! Who am I? Vampire or Zombie? Zombie or Vampire?
I would like to add the magic phrase:
Believe me, it doesn’t matter. I am a necrophile.

Can I get a haircut tomorrow?
Yes, there is time at 10 or 15.
Write the seven.
There is no time for seven, there are 10 and 15.
Can it be half seven?

Zhenya L.: a hurricane from England is approaching us
Zhenya L.: the wind is already taking off from the feet
Take a dog and sit in the car :)

In 2004, Playboy magazine named the Kalashnikov machine one of the 50 products that changed the world, determining its place after the Apple Macintosh computer, contraceptive tablets and Sony Betamax video magnet.

Xxx: It seems to me that the AC makes work faster than the Jobs processor, controls the birth rate better than tablets, and is much more useful in the household than a video magnet. Unfortunate fourth place.

Well, I believe in you! My favorite cat is sick. Make sure she is healed. Pray to all the gods! Please give her the strength to cope with the infection!!! to

News about Chinese spies
Lexik: two years later, the boiler hacked the nearest wi-fi network, unfortunately it was a microwave, which at this time enthusiastically broke the wi-fi refrigerator.
There were eight devices before the router.

Reading and encountering in life on "genial" advice to girls on women's forums - the idea arises that not only children need to be protected from the internet, but also our beloved ladies.

X: We are implementing the project here in one company. I have a list of their employees. there funny names are found: for example, Samko Love Victoria)
X: There is a suspicion that her husband has a Samez!and :)
y is a good name))
Y: It was hard at school, of course.
X: the only female for the whole school

xxx: a minute ago a guy calls and says "hello, dad"
xxx: I was "not there"
XXX: His voice is crying.
xxx: what he answers "excellent"
I’m glad I wasn’t his dad too.

Hendyr asked to change his internal number 102 to my 101 (admin number). The telephone operator arrived, interrupted the wires, and in the process, the wire from the servatore was stuck. The network is covered. While I turned on the servo, I heard the chief's wild scream in the hallway: "Yes, I didn't break your net, I'm not enough to call the suckers!!!!"and "

The husband this morning in the store met a soul mate-they and the seller apparently both did not sleep:
Is there a mineral?
Seller: No, only a small...
Which big one?
The Seller: Mercury
I am swallowing!! to

here here :

The Baltics do not love Russia so much to supply us quality goods.

But domestic producers appear to love Russia even less (((

You see the big bang theory differently when you know that all actors aged forty, they get eight million per season, and that Sheldon is gay.

Today, she saw in the supermarket, parents took two two-litre bottles of cola to their children.
One: and a bunch of small aluminum bottles.
ONE: there is a type of juice... or a drink of some... but not alcoholic
They probably don’t like their kids.

News from the Olympic Torch:
Yesterday in Leningrad, Plushchenko ran with a torch on skis, Kerzhakov ran not on that route, and Kandelaki during the run, instead of a torch loudly and quickly carried some nonsense.
by 77

We talked about different nicknames and the following story emerged:
The guy, appearing adequate, calm. Everyone calls it a volcano. Accordingly, everyone who knows him is scared, because they do not know where the name comes from and consider him almost a criminal authority.
And one day his longtime friends told him that this nickname he got after falling asleep on the floor on his back, overtaken before this alcohol.

xxx - I recently read an article about the computers used by NASA to fly to the moon. They were still working on DOS'E.
YYY - Ah, and now humans will fly to Mars on the eighth wheel.
XXX - On the eighth wheel they will not fly far.
yyy - On the eighth spin they won't be able to start because they won't find the "Start" button. (They are :

My beloved got married. A few days before the event, I suggest him, say, home alone, brother will not come soon, etc. At my whisper, he made huge frightened eyes and shouted, “You are what?! Until the wedding!and "

News on NHS Novosibirsk:
In the Zaeltsov district of Novosibirsk, a search for ammunition is being carried out in the wreath behind one of the residential houses on street. by Dusi Kovalchuk.

The top comment:
What’s hard to tell before cleaning?!! Those are the people who live there!

to this:

About the trolls:
So it happened that my friend went on a business trip with an employee. We settled in different rooms, but in the evening decided to drink champagne in the room and walk around the city. As soon as the girl entered his room, she saw that he was picking up a pastion:
Let's go to the maps until we turn over.
He: Cards are played only for money, for desire or for dressing.
She: Well, we don’t have money with you. In principle, I will not play in dressing, but if I wish, I can.
They played. He won and said dryly, “Listen to my wish. Take it out."

The man! What was next?! Do not silence!