bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №88945
 28.10.2013
XXX: I have a marine.
YYY: What about chao?
xxx: M - I will cook borscht and blend today, you go to the store?
xxx: I am - ah, give me a list
XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
XXX: I am
XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №88944
 28.10.2013
A piece of clear blue sky. The most popular comment (with the most likes) "The horizon is over"

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №88943
 28.10.2013
I woke up in the morning - everything was enough: washing, cleaning, cooking, marital duties at 6 a.m. - work - a boring monotonous life... And then I read, as someone curts the evening for folding the bags in triangles, and I understand - everything I have is just wonderful!
Thank you, I reminded you to appreciate.

[ + 31 - ] Comment quote №88942
 28.10.2013
Tomorrow I’ll go back to Matthew! by Yuh!
There is no more happiness for Mahatma Gandhi.
XHH: заебал ***in, if honestly
I don’t know how to live simply.
All the trouble is for him.
The teacher would be happy if he didn’t.
WOW: This universe is obviously too small for you two.
th th th th: +
Solve a man’s problem.
Open from the tip the double doors leading to his audience (and if there are no such-spend the night to install them), spit into the nearest bag, put your hands on the belt, and, jumping on the heels of the boots with spurs, contemptuously throw him "Midday, globe bus".
and go out.
Then shot him.
xxxh: It is of course brilliant, but I still want to study in %name of the universe% and not anywhere I don't know where)))
No one will judge you for that.
All according to law.
The law of the Wild, his mother, the West.
For example, China and the West.
And Imho, very wild.

[ + 32 - ] Comment quote №88941
 28.10.2013
About the trolls:
So it happened that my friend went on a business trip with an employee. We settled in different rooms, but in the evening decided to drink champagne in the room and walk around the city. As soon as the girl entered his room, she saw that he was picking up a pastion:
Let's go to the maps until we turn over.
He: Cards are played only for money, for desire or for dressing.
She: Well, we don’t have money with you. In principle, I will not play in dressing, but if I wish, I can.
They played. He won and said dryly, “Listen to my wish. Take it out."

[ + 13 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №88940
 28.10.2013
1> you are like a perverted %)
2> thank you, by the way, I have this photo in all the resume.

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №88939
 28.10.2013
If a man only turns to you with his best side, then he will take care of the bad for the future.

[ + 55 - ] Comment quote №88938
 28.10.2013
How to Become a Millionaire or Late Happiness

The story is real, I tell it in the first person: in the mid-2000s, at the peak of the stock market, I worked in a small investment company. A distinctive feature of it was that it was in a very convenient place and had a sign of the sample "Buy expensive securities, stocks, etc." Most of the people who came to this announcement carried all kinds of shit like MMM papers – similar and long-standing pyramids, or shares of all kinds of incomprehensible structures, which at best cost a penny. There were also many owners of honestly privatized gasprom and so on. for 1 voucher receiving a pair of green hundred-dollar notes.
Amidst all this cuddle comes a woman. The intelligent is such, only the look is sad and in the eyes, and it is visible from the appearance that it has long been not in urgent need, but almost in poverty. And the woman tells the story: She herself is a teacher of the junior classes, an honest Soviet hardening (in terms of bribery does not take etc.).He lives on one salary. In the early 90s, a large, although late love married a man from a distant village, who in Moscow was on the upgrading, and was registered in some working village (this is the answer to the question why letters from the company did not arrive). They lived soul to soul, in her mother's two-bedroom apartment in Stalingrad. When their mother died, they decided to move to a single house on the outskirts (no children), invest money in something valuable and live on interest. Because a husband is like the head of the family, it is up to him to decide. The apartment was sold in 1998, at the highest price. Yes, and one bought a very small one, so the difference was quite tangible at the time. (The author's explanation - the husband's wife at the time did not write a deep-seated paragraph about possible marriage offenders wishing to get to Moscow, and then seemed to be forgotten. In fact, she didn’t have time to write it.)
In general, the husband for a couple of months thought, guessed, and decided to invest the money in a "serious office". The problem is that he did not tell his wife the name when he went to her with money. And on the way back, he had what doctors call "a sudden and sudden heart attack with a fatal outcome." And the most offensive thing is that “good people” helped my husband stay without a jacket and without money, and with a jacket – and without papers. The wife did not know then whether he was cleaned before buying or if he bought something.
The husband's only mother-old woman, one and a half classes of education, in a working village in a remote Russian depth, no phone at home, rarely calls. There was no money to come to the funeral, they burned together a couple of times on the phone and his mother stopped calling him. And then suddenly gets - a letter somewhat strange received from Sberbank, and only here there are a lot of incomprehensible words and papers. In the name of my husband. The woman says to her, “Send me the mail, I’ll see.” And whether the mail worked as usual, whether the address was incorrect, the letter returned, and the husband's mother forgot about him somehow. A year later he calls again – again the letter came, let me send you. has transmitted. The letter came back again. The husband’s mother thinks – fate means this, you don’t need to send it.
I remained silent for a few years. Letters come every year. She had a whole hole of them.
And once this horse saw her neighbor, a literate woman, and says - letters are important and necessary, let me call myself, I will write the exact address and send the ordered.
and sent it. And our woman in Moscow got this wealthy farm, with which she decided to go to our office to figure out what to do.
The woman told all this to a young manager sitting next to me, who was obviously waiting for her to finally show him her 50 shares of Gazprom or another fantasy of an MMM-like firm. There were no people that day, and the woman was clear that she was not crazy and apparently came into the matter, so her long story we, though reluctantly, but listened to the end.
I still remember the manager’s face looking at the papers. At first he was amazed. Then, taking the second letter, he became white and his hands were shaken. I immediately understood that it was a letter from a newsletter for the shareholders of the Sberbank of the Russian Federation, but I did not see the details.
Finally, the manager cut off his eyes from the letter and with a broken voice said – if these are real letters, then you have 3,000 shares, 80,000 rubles each, a total of 240 million rubles....( rubles today, dear readers, Sberbank in the year 99 was worth 450 modern rubles per paper- was the peak of the crisis, and in the late 2000s his shares were divided into 1000 parts, so they now and are worth 80-90 rubles per paper).

The owner of the office himself is not a poor man and who saw everything in the 90s, was no less shocked than the manager.
After closing us with him in the cabinet, he took from us the honest bandit (in the SB-shne plan) word not to tell anyone "years 10 minimum".
He was dealing with a woman personally and as far as I know she received everything honestly.
R. S. It has been almost 10 years. I hope you forgive me :)

[ + 40 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №88937
 28.10.2013
Pirates shooting screenshots are being sought among spectators. No one thinks about tickets receiving 3,000 a month.

[ + 32 - ] Comment quote №88936
 28.10.2013
Comment on the hashtag to the article "In Kenya Wikipedia articles became available by SMS"
Submitted by: Jaguar
Buy the Jaguar XF with a discount of 9.99%! More in detail...
Submitted by: Jaguar
Operator: JAGUAR Delivery - every 20 banks free of charge! More in detail...
Yaguar is your mother!! to
Operator: DOWNLOAD PORNO - ZOO - INCEST - MORE...

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №88935
 28.10.2013
Welvimar: We have another shopping center to open soon. There are already posters "All for tea" and "Intimhouse". There you can buy everything for tea, if you understand what I am talking about.

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №88934
 28.10.2013
If listening to rock, it is a deadly sin... Then I hope in hell we will be disbanded by favorite bands"
XHHH: In Hell, we’ll go on all the hills.
Not at home, so we go to hell.
YYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY
xxx: meet menson) he is obviously there for the main)))
YYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY
xxx: you for these words will get to the concert of the wounded, guy) for 100 years

[ + 38 - ] Comment quote №88933
 28.10.2013
Yesterday in the Baltic Strip I went to the toilet and the inscription on the wall. I read: "Sweetly and powerfully suck off the guy a huge and powerful cock *phone number* Manusour."
From the side: "Suka, don’t be ashamed of the hatches"

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №88932
 28.10.2013
1 Do you?
2 not
Everything is clear with you.
Do you want me to tell a joke?
2 to give.
1. rides Ilya Muromets on a horse along the road and sees a road stone on which is written
To the right you go - you will lose the horse, to the left you will become a peder, straight - you will perish.
He scratched Ilush's tail and turned the horse to the right. The horse looked at him and said
1st You are a pitcher, Ilya.
2 is good. Come here
I will do

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №88931
 28.10.2013
The car of ODA.
xxx: there is one smoker that is worth
XXX: Who works as a toaster!
xxx: at readiness, a hot smoker fires into the car
XXX: with different trajectories of flight!! to

[ + 38 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №88930
 28.10.2013
Since childhood I have been tormented by the question: how to correctly count the stairs in the entrance? Is the lower floor considered a ladder? Is the staircase on the upper floor also considered?

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №88929
 28.10.2013
Temple of Emergency Surgery:

An Orthodox clinic is opened in Perm. In its creation all the canons of the RPC were taken into account. The work of the "Elizabeth Hospital" is supervised by a spiritual practitioner, and in the corridors of the medical institution there are icons.

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №88928
 28.10.2013
The Adorable! Now on TV the advertisement of laxative is going... show how it is unrealistically cool in the stomach, at the same time, the joyful voice after the frame: MATRY-KAKUTRO!

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №88927
 27.10.2013
I go somewhere in the metro. At the next stop, I see very nice old women standing at the station, grandmother and grandpa. The grandmother stood face to face with the car, and the grandfather was behind her and hugged her slightly over her shoulders, fixed something on them, kissed slightly... I look at them, I am delighted. It took so many years together, and such a tenderness to each other remained... Here the grandmother turns side by side, and it turned out that the grandfather did not embrace her, but placed a large backpack on her back. and (

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №88926
 27.10.2013
Comment on rumors about the construction of a floating data center by Google (Haber):

What happened to our data center?! to
He drowned...

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