bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 32 - ] Comment quote №148514
 26.01.2018
and lifhack.
1st The cheapest prostitute.
2nd Go with her to the swinger club.
Three You change her into someone’s normal wife.

[ + 20 - ] Comment quote №148513
 26.01.2018
> Terme on this account

Termas for this account are called "schools", and it is recommended in these Termas not to sleep on mathematics.

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №148512
 26.01.2018
Look at the weather forecast.
- minus 15 for feelings minus 20.
What an unpleasant feeling...

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №148511
 26.01.2018
In every school there are children’s rights stands. And they have such rights that parents can just cry...with hotline phones. They call, they complain, they complain. And they are right!

Definitely right. It is unclear why, on the contrary, the rights of parents do not hang. Does the child have the right to know or does the parent have the right to know?

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №148510
 26.01.2018
I don’t complain about alcohol – I always accept it as it is.

[ + 34 - ] Comment quote №148509
 26.01.2018
X: I have three questions for you. The first, how many will eleven multiply by twelve (only in the mind)
(In a few seconds)
and : 132
x: Second, how many will eleven multiply by twelve?
(in the moment)
and : 132
X is the last. How many are eleven multiplied by twelve?
and No. 132
X: This is called caching.

[ + 34 - ] Comment quote №148508
 26.01.2018
Probably porn is not when the mother-in-law, forced by the baby-in-law, begins to make him pleasant, but when she is hysterical begins to read him a half-hour lecture, and then pulls for the skin and pulls to the psychologist. And the psychologist (a young busty aunt), having put his mother-in-law behind the door and left alone with his son-in-law, begins to sit on his ears, telling parables of restraint and love. Here is. And the scenes of reunion, with this psychologist and with the mother-in-law, and just with the girls seen on the street, are just the fantasies of a young man.

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №148507
 26.01.2018
Cables had an evolutionary meaning when they were worn by MEN – they helped to fix shoes in the strings. If one Pompadour did not complex because of its small height, until now they would have been traditionally a male element)))

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №148506
 26.01.2018
As Gregory, make a fool pray to God.

Every day to do physical loads for two hours, and then what would be from the door to the bottom of the T-shirt. And control the diet so that a day would not be more than 1500 calories.

Milmoya, have you heard of the restoration of the body? What alternative gifted training program did you make up? And 1500 with such shock loads, what fool has advised you? Daily exercise is stressful for the body. Under stress, the body produces cortisol. And cortisol, the short-term release of which contributes to lipolysis (that is, fat burning), being increased constantly, the lipolysis slows. Sadly, but the fact: you were so foolish in vain, only complicated life to yourself.

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №148505
 26.01.2018
What kind of hype? My parents are always at work, my grandmother and grandfather have enough business, I read books from 2 years old, everything is quiet. I am 3. A sister appeared. Washing, laundry and vanity. I am 8. Friends, buildings, a lake, a forest... A compulsory attribute is a sister without whom you will not be allowed to walk. I scratch the bonus for everything in a row because she’s small and can’t lie. I am 15. A friend with a boy, the sister tosses immediately. At the age of 20, I learned not to hate her. And now even friends, because we live in different cities and see very rarely. You say five...

[ + 37 - ] Comment quote №148504
 26.01.2018
> who are the WASADULS who are in the garden

They are female auricles. Do you remember?

"Auriki, auriki and auriki
Men walk and women walk".

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №148503
 25.01.2018
The scandal broke out in the city of Pervoralsk in Sverdlovsk region. The chief doctor of the local hospital appealed to the police with a complaint on the self-called doctor. For more than two weeks, the unknown citizen was dressed as a doctor and led the reception of patients. Moreover, the specialization of the false doctor varied depending on the mood: today he is a therapist, and tomorrow - a gynecologist.
The offender was previously convicted 31-year-old resident of the village of Bitima. To his affair, the man was preparing in advance: on the passage he said that he went to the hospital to work as a sanitary technician, and when he got up to the floor, he was reincarnated into a doctor.
The staff of the hospital said that the man behaved so confidently that no one in the medical staff could even think about what it was about the self-called man. Moreover, he knew all his colleagues in the face and by names: before he repeatedly lay in this hospital in the surgical department, and therefore behaved here in a domestic way.
Interestingly, none of the patients suspected anything. During his medical practice, he received no complaints.
Whether the man will be involved in the criminal case is not yet known. Local law enforcement authorities do not know how to properly qualify the case. It is possible that for a false gynecologist, everything will end in a preventive conversation.

[ + 36 - ] Comment quote №148502
 25.01.2018
I am absolutely ordinary (a gray mol, you will not notice passing by), standard dressed, no stupid kind. With husband and lover.
What do you think? I’m still out of the BBB.

Well, with your husband and lover, God himself commanded you to get rid of the babies.

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №148501
 25.01.2018
Thanks to the efforts of the user %user%, a new cause of lifetime ban "Death " has been introduced specifically for him.

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №148500
 25.01.2018
Remembered in connection with the "clam after jail". I had a friend – a lover of taking everything that lies wrong. I did not shake up in the tower (I do not know at the time) because the father with all his victims and menta agreed well. One day my body disappeared. tk. He was there immediately, and I asked him to return the body. He was very upset—how could I think of him, and in general—I was redish. I said, either you give the bodies, or I call the menta. He said, call whoever you want. The menta came, took it away, and then brought it back with my phone. So – if a person once did something – it makes sense to expect that they can do exactly the same.

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №148499
 25.01.2018
I heard the call:

>Hard work for the catch, but still,
Fuck, work is in the air.
Working with people.<

No need to overwhelm. In the original:

The palate does not know the breath!
But hell take it,
work in the air,
Working with people.

Vishnevsky’s rhythms were not ignored.

[ + 24 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №148498
 25.01.2018
The problem is that they are not those people. Here is a man who spends his vacation being treated in a psychiatric clinic from panic attacks and he is considered a psycho. But he is cured and just adequate. And the real psychic with a tail for neighbors on drunk spots is chased, but is not treated - he is much more crazy - and without registration in the clinic for society as if normal. Here is a criminal who has sentenced his term and now, having already received his punishment, is clean before the law. It is on it that the stamp is. And a bandit who has never been tried - that is, the current criminal who has escaped from justice - does not receive a seal.

[ + 31 - ] Comment quote №148497
 25.01.2018
Today, for the first time in my life, a young man gave up a seat in the road. I just stumbled, and stupidly asked why he did this? ? to (I think I am still young)

He couldn’t find anything to answer, and again said, “Sit down, I will stand.”

I sat down, looked at the faces of the sitting grandmothers and grandparents, and realized that it was not beyond the mountains.

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №148496
 25.01.2018
My parents regularly reminded me, as a young child, of the question, “Who do you love more, Mom, Dad or Chocolate?” She shouted “Chocolate!” Without thinking for a moment.)

[ + 32 - ] Comment quote №148495
 25.01.2018
I went to the zoo with my little nephew. The day is sunny, not hot, all the animals are walking, playing, everyone has gone around, everyone has looked at. The day was great. I asked what I liked the most: the answer. Yes I remember. That in the corner some pipes changed and opened the asphalt.

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