I spent the summer with my family in the village. In the morning I went out with my husband to drink tea on the bench, a neighbor's goat approached us, showed interest in her husband, began to rub his back, lick his neck, then approached me and began to kick me in the back, say, don't bother. The 5-year-old daughter, seeing this, shouted to the goat, "Don't touch my mom, go to your goat!" The husband hurt his daughter a little.

I’m currently working in a bank and I’ve recently had a megahistory. The man came with the claims - the loops are shameful, the bankers are bad, I will condemn everyone, I will plant, I will crush, you know who I am!!! Give me my money!! It turned out that from his card someone spared 20,000 rubles. Who can be guilty in the eyes of the man? Well, who else is not a cashier (if not) or a bank in general. began to understand. During the trial, it was discovered that his son (loved, innocent, lapochkawa) was 18 years old, sprinkled the card from his dad and took the money, but the most interesting thing is not this. And the most interesting thing is that this man has thought of himself as an alibi! He took the money precisely when the whole family left the city to visit friends.That is, when everyone ate in the guests to the condition, he sprinkled the card at the batani, took a taxi, flew to the city, took the money and returned unnoticed. I put the map back and type all the way. He didn’t even spend until the storm passed away. One did not teach the boy. In the ATMs there are cameras and in the locations of the ATMs themselves there are also cameras and usually there is a guard. The applicant when he learned all the arrangement opened his eyes for a long time and assured that it was impossible, but the son on the photos knew... And how not to know that, his native blood...

Have you found all the puppies? Now we measure the range and diameter!

Lost at the Olympics

There was a case too. Olympiad in English, our class - with in-depth study. There are two of my classmates and I am a type of reserve. On Fridays and Saturdays I quietly chased the big, gamed dendi, read books, all that. On Sunday at seven in the morning, one of those girls knocks on my door and reports that the other girl is sick, so I need an Alma Mater. by Opanki. Well, prepared, did not prepare, soon gathered and ran away, not grumbling, to defend the honor of the school.

Next is more. Our team is coming out of school. We gathered to ride a trolleybus, but here one high school girl says she knows how to shorter. Follow her, you already understood it. This daughter of Susannah took us to such hills that one hour from there we went on foot. They arrived at the Olympics ten minutes after the start. We and our classmates were stuck on the last remaining free seats in one batch (usually the boys from the same school were sitting away), we, naturally, all the way combined the brains, the vocabulary and actually the dictionary, which I locked in the pocket of the pants.

On Monday, when I came to school, I learned that I took the first place, she was second or third, I don’t remember already. This is from the boat to the ball.

[10:58:02] Paul: to watch for the neighbors? Do you do this in your free time?
[10:59:02] Nikita: It happens
[10:59:16] Nikita: in the house opposite for a while a young couple lived
Nikita: They didn’t really like to close the curtains
[10:59:33] Nikita: go out to smoke - free porn
[10:59:47] Nikita: once went out to smoke - and the neighbor of the fox is shaking sitting!
[10:59:58] Nikita: Smoking as it was wasted

Most men here stood up for a man who lived for 22 years with a boring wife and finally, closer to the age of 45, met his worthy 19-year-old girl.
The problem is that he left the family. Every second family is disintegrating.
The point is that he puts his wife on the internet, while he is white and furry.
Do you feel like a man writes about himself? The feeling that he is incapable of something. He was directly forcibly married to the right woman with knobs fastened, he was directly attached to the family bed for 22 years and was not allowed anywhere, under the fear of death he could not leave and was forced to live according to the rules of his wife. And he could not leave, probably because there was nowhere and no one to go. But as soon as a woman appeared, preparing to accept him, he immediately collapsed. He told us all about his wife everything he had been silent about for 22 years.
This is the case, not the divorce itself.
This is wrong, men, not manly. Whatever your wife is, it was your choice, and your life, and your woman. There is nothing here to spit on relatives who have forced you to get married and sex life.
The man wanted to show how cool he was - at 40 with a tail he struck a 19-year-old young woman and now lives carelessly, and his wife for 22 years nodded him in the ear and now - ha-ha - he avenged her. But really such men, besides disgust, do not cause anything. It is necessary to have the dignity of quietly leaving the boring wives, and not to carry them afterwards to the whole world.

First men marry in boredom because: relatives said that she is good / because the age is already / because it’s gone, and I, as an honest man, had to get married (need to emphasize), then they live in boredom for 20 years because: they can’t find where to go / allegedly live because of a child / don’t want to break the illusion of an ideal family. Then they find a 19-year-old girl, who was rated a couple of times by car, brought three times to a mid-range restaurant and bought a turkey in a sandwich, and here they already with a suitcase on the overwhelming escape from the boring wife, to this fun careless girl with good company. And the boring wife, who lived with you for more than 20 years, remains alone, asking herself the question - what's wrong with me, because for 20 years everything was fine? And how did she know that all these 20 years you considered her unworthy of yourself, you endured her, at the same time preparing the ground for betrayal care.
But the difference is so big in age that you will not have time to flash the eye, as you become an old grandfather, and the girl will still be quite nothing... And then you run back to the old woman?

The exchange of wives.
Everything has been invented before us:
I change one wife for 40 years for two for 20. Options 4 to 10 are not available. and c)

We call America and Australia countries, so that’s the problem.

Australia is no longer a country.

I decided to jump into the cafe for a business lunch. I sit and eat. Suddenly a waitress approaches me and says:

"Sorry, the girl at the next table asks you to pay her account.

My eyebrows surprisingly flew up to the stratosphere itself. I turn my head in the direction of the girl’s table and I see a charming creature there who smiled and waved a pen. is cute. I don’t remember we met anywhere. I smiled and said to the waitress:

I’m sorry, but I’ll probably refuse such a tempting offer.

The waitress left, I paid my bill and, leaving, I noticed the indignant look of this lady.

Attention the question! What was it? An attempt to eat a snail or a new way of dating?

Moscovites, you are there in front of the planet all about new trends, explain to the castle that this was a fucking thing?

I’m 21 years old, but every time I meet, they say I don’t look more than 15 years old. Well, even - the height of 153, the child's expression of the face, and the voice is traitorily whispering. I was worried about it before, now I’m used to it. But recently there has been a new attack – I am often taken for the daughter of my young man! It is worth clarifying that we are one, but he is my opposite: height 180, twice the width and weight of me. Here are a couple of such cases.

1 the case. I broke the controller from the TV. I had to look for a similar one. I went to the market with my uncle. It was not possible to find the same one, but the uncle persuaded him to come the next day, because they would bring universal controls. The next day I went alone, because the guy was on a change. Uncle found out, handed the controller and said that it could be returned if it didn’t fit. So it went, the controller did not fit, I had to go back to the market. And then the dialogue, I - (I) Uncle - (D)

I - Hi, the controller did not come, I came to bring back.

D did not come? is bad. What did Dad say? To give money?

I am Emma. Well yes. (Parallel to remembering when he saw my father)

And only when I got out of the market, I realized that he took the guy for dad.



2 the case. The voice has played here. I decided to buy an airplane table. I don’t remember what happened at the time, but the guy called from my phone, arranged a meeting and went to the table, leaving the phone at home. I sit, I don’t touch anyone, and there’s an unknown number calling. I take the phone, then I - (I), the man - (M):

I am allo.

M is Hi! Girl, call my dad!

I am and Daddy is not home. (And the thought in my head - why is he looking for my father in my apartment?)

Is there any of the adults at home?

I am an adult...

M - Girl, your dad wanted to buy me a table, give him something, please, that I am already in place.

I am well.

When he arrived, the guy was roaring at me for a long time because the seller said to him, “You have a very serious daughter.”

Worse than IT-technologies can only be information technologies.

and NDA. The story of good girls is expected to go to the discussion of what age prostitutes are better in bed.

The teacher of Russian language and literature once sent me to the Olympiad, and did not specify what. I went to literature and wrote. In the same school at the same time in another cabinet was the Russian language Olympiad. Who knew, a. Most importantly, the result was good, so no one was upset.

Wut: – Facebook is like “Today is your birthday, let him know what you think about him!” Fuck, are you serious? Do you want someone to know on their birthday what I think about them? : o )

Ninochka: Before you wipe your glasses with a dress, think about how many tonals you put on your nose in the morning.
Mr. Sebastian Pereira: A fictional problem, never wiped out the glasses with a dress, the girls for some reason opposed. I do not have a toner.

xxx: Comments fire simple, especially about "PS4 owners successful, held people". I work as a technician at the Palace of Culture and my salary is sad. I have a PS4, I’m held and successful, right?
YYY: I heard that Deripaska didn’t have a PS4, he didn’t even smell success or wealth.

Obama, in turn, said the decision of Congress was unexpected for him. “This is a dangerous precedent. We are suddenly held accountable for everything we do around the world. And they have become subjects of private lawsuits in courts, where we often don’t know what the consequences may be,” he said.

Really dangerous!

That feeling when you fly to your "Muchosransk" on a plane flying through Moscow and taxi drivers directly off the legs - transportation to the city for 2k (aga Muscovic))).

I work as an admin, and sometimes I work on computer maintenance. I get a call from my aunt, I don’t know how she recognized my number. On the phone very spacious and dimly described the problem, in the end it turned out that her computer Winlock with child unnecessary content. I was very surprised, because the winlock epidemic has long gone. decided to help. The lady did not depart from me for a second, watched my actions closely, at the very end (when the matter was done), loudly and implacably demanded 1000 rubles from me. I wondered what to be? It turns out that she sent a SMS twice to the specified number by which she called me.