I'm not going to sit down with you in one comment!

My friend in the passport on the family status page stood the stamp "military duty".

I just walked away from the comp for 5 minutes, not even blocking it. I go back and see: our one-year-old son sits on the keyboard and knocks on it with his heel. A quick inspection of the scene of the incident clearly revealed two facts: First, the source code of my program has undergone significant changes, and it is not yet known whether it will be possible to restore everything as it was. And secondly, the son's diaper turns out to have gone through, and the keyboard is now in this shape... hm, it's easier to buy a new one than to clean this one.
At my restrained outcry, a worried woman ran out of the kitchen. I took the baby to wash in the bathroom, and the last thing I heard was her dark comment:
Another shit is growing.

A woman is looking for a man who fulfills her boldest dreams. A man is looking for a woman he will make as he is.

History of Karma
In the summer of this year, my girlfriend struck a cell phone in the cafe. Naturally, only turned to the side, looking - there is no phone. In principle, the cell phone was old, and she was only worried about one thing - with this device she went for more than five years, and there were preserved various important data - photos, contacts, various notes, well, and so on. The girl got a little hot, and bought an iPhone, which she is now walking with. And just recently she needed to check something on her old mail, which was placed on that stolen cell phone. She went to the Gmail account - and cried out - he, as it turned out, continued to live his life all this time. The thief, who struck the phone, did not even delete the data on it, and continued to use the girl's account. On it was his photo diary, a list of contacts, a lot of videos, etc. The girl who discovered this was angry. This is an amazing thing – human psychology. That mobile phone was hardly worth more than 3-4 thousand rubles taking into account his age, troublesome battery, etc., besides the girl is not greedy entirely... But the very fact that some scammer is using her thing, just made her angry. Her revenge was terrible. It turned out that the thief - a guy twenty-five years old, a Moldovan named Yuri, worked in one of the Moscow shopping malls by a malar - carried out some finishing works, etc. At home in Chisinau (judging by GPS tags) he had a wife with a child, as well as a mistress. He also had fun in Moscow, and with all kinds of terrible grandmothers, judging by the photos. The girl chose the most sincere of these pictures, and began to send them to all the contacts in the list... In addition, the young man often photographed various documents - all sorts of estimates, shop checks, airline tickets, and so on. This was also sent to everyone on the contact list. The effect was incredible. The next day, the guy started calling everyone who was on the girl's contact list (he wasn't stinging him, but just added his phones), asking - who could belong to the black galaxy s2? Finally, someone pointed to the girl. The Moldavian literally cried in the tube - it turned out that he was literally fired from work one night - the chief learned about some of his machinations, there were huge problems with his wife, he was attacked by some of his friend, with whose girl he was there something troubled. The funniest thing is that now he was demanding compensation, something there in the amount of 500 thousand rubles :) Of course, except for laughter this offer could not cause anything. The girl offered him to return to Russia, surrender to the police, get a sentence for theft of the phone, and after that to file a lawsuit against her in the court :) He cried in Moldovan and threw the telephone. This is karma, yes.

Remember, the horse worked best in the collage. But she never became president.

Discussions about the dollar in the forum:
xxx: Yes, everything is clear - but the sberbank will not "crash".
YYY: By the way, yes, with the Sberbank usually the whole country grows...

to this:

I have not played computer games for 5 years.
YYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!! to
zzz: ahaha, he’s just 5 years old, like the computer doesn’t pull new toys
_______________________
By the way, yes :) I have been proud for several years that I grew up from toys, that I am more important than other things, that the maximum that I occasionally pursue PES (football) and all.
Then I bought a new computer.

and LIFHACK:

"I have a strong handshake. I live alone, not a gymnast, I do not go to the gym. How do I disappear?)"

Buy a boxing pear, adjust the house to a prominent place, tell the doctor advised to remove the excess of aggression.
Stupid questions disappear by themselves.

The new version of the GNU Emacs 24.4 text editor has a built-in web browser
XXX: I wonder what will Vim answer?
YYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY

I am also, for example, a “irresponsible goat” in the representation of my wife. Although I earn quite decent (right above the average on European standards), I do not consume alcohol at all, I run of course (due to my wife's chronic headache), but I was not suspected, so we will consider that I do not run. The only problem is that I work from home (french, in other words), and therefore in her representation, I have to take on all the homework, since I still sit at home.

With your wife, you understand.
But the question is, is it yours? The Masochist descendant?

PS and headaches in women hurt selectively, that is, not for all men.
And if the head hurts the husband constantly, then the husband is probably already wearing a branched ornament.

to this:
Comment to news "In Omsk arrested 120-kilogram rapist"

xxx Now mints in the annual report on the weight of rapists are taken into account?
For the reporting period, 134 tons of 247 kilograms of rapists were caught, which is 132 kilograms higher than the planned position indicator.

Yyy Aha, and the opera boast each other - I yesterday caught such a rapist - 150 kg - no less! A beautiful man, not a rapist. Come to the car!
------------

The Violent! A real rapist. You are the rapist of my dreams!

AbaK: So Romania is a Roma state, isn’t it?
Lunar: who does not remember vampires when mentioning Romania? <^..^>
The Gypsy Vampires!
AbaK: This is more dangerous than ninja pirates!

There was this dialogue yesterday:
I: Imagine, jungle, a beautiful lagoon and a small waterfall... You are swimming, the midday sun shines through the crowns of the trees. And nearby, because of the trees, you are watched by a native man, with a beautiful body and a bronze garnet in one bended bandage... with a spear in his hand...
I am aiming for you xDDDD

I work from home (freelancer, in other words), and therefore in her representation, I must take on all the homework, since I still sit at home.
and...
Listen, wealthy freelancer, and you are really sensitive "not that". Do you know such words: "home appliances" and "home assistant"? If you are really assured, then either release your wife from the need to go to work, and then you have to spit the whole house on her, or see. and above. If neither of this is enough, try at least not to squeeze the house for a day, so that the wife after work less "second shift in the house" got. Maybe everything will go well, maybe her head will go through.

Do you grow your beard?
BBB is masquerading. I hide excess beards. : r

From comments to the video where Gaia inspector releases the driver for 2 packages of condoms:

That was not a bribe!! They bought two packages of their comrades out of captivity! They planned to release them into the wild.

Those who have Ambulance after the preamble must read the word after the preamble.

XHH: Click on the link - what is there? * Reference to *
I have a block here.
A: It is a curvature. Look at tonight.
HH: So what is there?
BBB: I’m going to steal. thanks
BBB on Twitter
ccc: xxx finally gave a normal reference.
xxxx: to fuck, to fuck

Let’s start with the fact that the “irresponsible goat” is a purely subjective concept in a woman’s head.
____
You and the goat!
You consider your wife a complete idiot who doesn't feel that you don't love her and cheat her to the left and right (so the head hurts, including). she even tries to hang some affairs, just not to cheat (bad tactics, but many are going in this direction). This time.
And you also try to make her a maid, she goes to work, and you sleep in the bedroom, she comes in the evening - and you rest on the couch after work, and not even washed the dishes, is it a goat? It is two.
Well, and finally, believe me, if she came home, and there you were all like that with flowers and sex, cooked the coffee, she would go pleasantly and did everything with the words, "Sit, sweet, dear." and a lazy pig in a sweater on the side of a pig behind a compot does not please anyone.
Shorter than a goat, you are natural, not "subjective".
I am happily married.