bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №148374
 21.01.2018
<Mr. Chpock> To the word about the quality of shoes. On the third day, after walking through the snowy city, I, climbing the stairs, stripped the remains of my feet from my shoes.

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №148373
 21.01.2018
P – Pedagogy

...to teach a child the difference between "I want" and "I need". Otherwise problems arise afterwards. For example: "I want my grandmother at the next table. I need me. I need to work."
— — — — —
There is no “need” in the world. And it is necessary to teach the fact that every desire rests on some "need", and nothing more. And as you understand things beyond your nose, develop that connection.
I want to walk, but I want to eat more.
I want that drunk girl out, but I want to walk freely more.
Then you understand that you do not clean up in the room, but you want to sit clean and not sneeze from dust.
That you do not grow potatoes in the country in the sweat of your face, but you just want it, and you do not need to attract those who have other hobbies.
That you want a car, and as you throw all the people behind it "need", you don't want it.
You do not have to invent a higher force called “need” (unless, of course, you do not want to invent it; but in this case, as with the rest of the hoodies, pretend what you pay for).

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №148372
 21.01.2018
Trade about fish:
Mankuzo: If you don’t look at the head, you’re a normal fish.
maxnicol: I and people know a lot of such: normal - if you do not pay attention to the head.

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №148371
 21.01.2018
The bad day? I made coffee in the morning. Hand-smelted, cooked, poured into a bowl and poured into a dishwasher, washed the bowl and turka, put it in the closet, got the milk jelly from the refrigerator and the table of the village and fixed-where coffee.

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №148370
 21.01.2018
user review about the game: "bla-bla-bla, cool game, bla-bla-bla, the author is great! thank you! Blessed and Blessed"
The author’s response: I’m not great. I am at least a motorcycle.

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №148369
 21.01.2018
For the arbitrary departure from grandfather and grandmother, the court sentenced Kolobk to a year of correctional work in bowling.

[ + 33 - ] Comment quote №148368
 21.01.2018
Trap of hands

A colleague told her how her wallet was pulled out of her bag.
“I go,” he says, “to the subway car through a dense stream of passengers coming out of it. The daughter – she was already an adult at the time – was a little behind. I sat down on a free spot, as Nastya cried out from the door of the car, waving my wallet - Mommy! When will you stop walking with your bag open?! to
It turns out, when I was entering the car, a meeting woman skillfully pulled out of my bag a wallet. Nadia walked a little behind me and saw it. Without stopping, she took the wallet out of the thief’s hand.

[ + 41 - ] Comment quote №148367
 21.01.2018
Holop comes to the baron and says:
Barin, the holops are tired of beating and beating. We will hold a rally against you. You agree?

[ + 34 - ] Comment quote №148366
 21.01.2018
The whole class voted to prove that Stirlitz danced at the ball with Natasha Rostova. The minority headed by the teacher is ashamed.

[ + 34 - ] Comment quote №148365
 21.01.2018
- Okay, if cats treat, then why is one on my chest all the time and the other on the battery?
Well how. One treats your mental injuries and inner pain, and the other - utilities and public health services.

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №148364
 21.01.2018
Do I think the deputies can go? And the slogan came up with "I promise to promise the most of all".

[ + 36 - ] Comment quote №148363
 20.01.2018
In all St. Petersburg schools will install metal detectors after the attacks in Perm and Buryatia.

So I don’t really understand who is preventing the bomb from blowing down in the crowd that inevitably forms in front of all these metal detectors?

[ + 34 - ] Comment quote №148362
 20.01.2018
I explain to my husband what cosplay is:
And almost every character makes a female cosplay with a minimum of clothes.
Why Why? Confused by the faithful.
Well how? Have you ever wanted to fuck your favorite character?
The Byzantine archery?! to

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №148361
 20.01.2018
Don’t joke about modest food. When I was studying in honey (there is no part-time and busy from morning to morning, if you are studying) then for breakfast I had a crust of bread with a bowl of meat baby purple, for lunch a crust of bread, for dinner two cooked potatoes. Cats have three mintains a week. I wanted to eat all the time. And when we counted on the physiology of nutrition diets and similar lobes, I was producing fewer calories than the concentration camp. It is not funny. and low. Years have passed, everything is fine, I earn a decent income. And if I don't eat, my hands will shake, don't give god, whoever will sharpen my cookie - I will be hysterical.

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №148360
 20.01.2018
Mag: The Original Star Wars Trilogy is a movie about how Han Solo several times prudently rushes away from the Skywalker, but something (seemingly, Force!) It inevitably brings him back. Then, in the fifth episode, seeing how Han is dumb and can not independently make the right decision in time to escape, he nobly and in vain decide to help in this case Bob Fett and Jabba Hutt. With the financial support of Darth Vader, of course, who the entire fifth episode pursued not Leia or Luke, as we thought, namely Solo, in order to save the young man in time. A rescue operation was carried out at Bespin. They gave reliable shelter in a carbonite barrel in the mafia castle, under the 24-hour guard of Sarlak and Rankoor. But even there this butterfly family got him.
Magician is a killer. Potential child killer. Damn the son. A woman flying in space (good that Han did not survive and did not see it, or he would have dragged on the superlight in the 77th).
A big smuggler is a big family. He was caught for 17 knockouts - caught for the rest of his life.

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №148359
 20.01.2018
Note that when disconnecting mobile data on the phone, geolocation is enabled. Kanesh most likely touches my finger, but I think of Google’s internal monologue: "taaaak... You came out of the injection... Where are you, shit?and "

[ + 32 - ] Comment quote №148358
 20.01.2018
Classics of Agriculture

I suggest a start-up: you need to start making cigarettes in which the filter contains a small capsule with a grain of any useful plant or tree. He threw the straw - raised a tree!

“No wonder, Christopher Bonifatievich, just the agility of the hands,” Fuchs replies. “I have a handful of oats left in my pocket, and with oats it’s not like pasta – cigarettes and those will go up.

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №148357
 20.01.2018
There was one ordinary man in our company, who suddenly began to crack money.

He always lived poorly, his mother never worked, and his father was a military officer. One day his father was promoted and he became the chief of the military unit. I don't know what he was doing there, but the money flowed through the river. Within six months on the new position he bought the whole family by car and his son a separate apartment in the center. He worked as a father for a year and a half and was forcibly promoted to assistant general or something like that. The salary was raised by a penny and a half, but the opportunity to steal was taken away. He lived a year on an ordinary, miserable salary and retired from such service.

[ + 39 - ] Comment quote №148356
 20.01.2018
I set up an ATS office here. They promised gold mountains, according to the fact of naeb.li. I wrote them a call to the casino volcano, an international number. Hopefully the two races will find each other. Advice for Love.

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №148355
 20.01.2018
The situation of recruitment. They are looking for a professional, urgent vacancy. The candidate (K) calls the recruiter (C).

Q: Hello to you! I responded to the website of xhh vacancy yyy.
Q: Good morning! It is wonderful!
K: Yes, and I got an invitation for an interview tomorrow.
Q: Okay, we are looking forward to you!
K: You know, I can’t come.
No problem, let’s postpone it. What day and time are you comfortable with?
Q: You know, I don’t want to go to the interview at all. My wife forced me to respond to your vacancy.
H: Oh... Oh... very sorry, yes. Well, I wish you all the good!
Q: Wait for me. If my wife is going to call you, tell me that I was at the interview and you refused. Please please.

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